round two...
my computer decided to erase the page I had just written.
So I've been thinking about what I hae lost this year.. I had someone that I really cared about, and it wasn't that I stopped caring, but I have a feeling that he did, and I don't want to poke around where I'm not welcome. I get this great wave of indifference, and it's such a let down. It hurts, because it's really my fault. I messed up this great thing, and even though I tried and tried to fix it, he's gone. It's over. And I can't say that it's ok, that I'll live and move on, becuase it's not ok. It's neve ok to leave such an emotional wound festering inside someone else. I ahve this broken place in my heart. I wish I had just trusted him, and not that stupid girl trying to relive Tiffany and I's glory days by stealing peices of who we are.
I know I put a lot of pressure on him. I was in love, I think. I was a stupid girl, blinded by my stupidity. I know better than to let down my gaurd, to let some one in. To believe in "love". I was such a fool, and as punishment, I got hurt, big time.
Joe tried to get inside, to let me love him, but know better. ALL relationships end. You break up, or you get married and get divirced, or one of you dies. Nothing lasts. So it's better to just never get involved to begin with. Then you don't get hurt.