The Secrets of Life
198. I’m bald now because all of my hair burned off. Thank you. (See no. 13) -Tara
199. Want some hair spray paint? -Michele
200. No, thank you, I think I look sexier bald. -Tara
201. Let me see... Ooooh, sexy! -Michele
202. Thank you. -Tara
203. So what are you doing on Saturday night? -Michele
204. Sorry, I already have a date with ET.-Tara
205. Okay..... Well, I’ll just go kill myself now. -Michele
206. CHING. -Tara
207. (chinger mechanism being confiscated by the cops)
(Chinger person runs off and steals Tara’s car)
Click!!!!!!!! -Michele
208. Mental note: cops make comment about hooters bumper sticker -Tara
209. We have yet to remember what we were trying to remember about the telemarketers thing. (See no. 174) -Michele
210. Techno has got to be one of the greatest things in the whole world. It is the shit. Whoever invented techno should get an award or something because it is the best thing in the world. You can make a techno version of everything!!! Literally. I’ve seen it!! I’ve found techno versions of songs that you never thought could be technoed. Like the song from the Neverending Story, or Ice Ice Baby or Kung Fu Fighting or any classical song in the world. Techno rocks. -Michele
211. "Willow, say something funny." -Michele "No (cough cough)" -Willow "And she says this while choking on animal crackers dipped in apple juice." -Michele
212. They absorb the apple-y flavor.(Willow)
213. It’s against my religion to make pea salad in the wrong box.(Tara)
214. Wait! I have a notebook in my....... somewhere. -Tara
215. You can’t pierce the noodles. -Tara
216. "Are you sure this isn’t it?" -Willow "No, I ate it already." -Michele
217. Why is there a quarter stuck on the bulletin board? -Michele
218. This means exclamation marks (waving hands in air) -Michele
219. Weeeeeeeeee Heeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sucks ass! –Tara
220. 1,2,3,4,5,... -Michele
221. What the hell are you doing? -Tara
222. Counting the "e’s" do you mind? -Michele
223. Jeopardy theme while thinking of Hooters sticker. -Michele
224. Do they have crunchy tacos at Hooters? –Willow
225. (Tara getting upset about Hooters jokes, waving arms in air for exclamation effect.) NNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYSERVE CHICKEN WINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Tara
226. "Damnit, I can’t put Spike in my disk drive!" –Michele "You know, that could be used as a sexual term." –Tara
227. I wombo, you wombo, he she me............... WOMBO! It’s first grade spongebob -Tara
228. The mystery of life is what to express when you describe the "..........". But wait............... should it be a mystery if this is the "secrets of life"??? so shouldn’t we figure it out???? AAAHHHH! -Tara
229. "Nooo!!! It defeats the purpose!!" -Michele "What purpose?!?" -Tara "THE Purpose!" -Michele "oh." -Tara
230. Pants. If you put them in the dryer, you get hot pants. But, if you leave them in too long, you get tight pants. (by Willow)
231. YEAH TOAST!!!!! -Tara
232. Nous sommes les vaches folles! -Willow
233. Some people are just born with full out hooowaaah teeth! -Michele
234. Dude, some guy tried commit suicide by jumping off a bridge in a flood and he just floated away, so they caught him and they ticketed him. -Michele
235. Take me down to the paradise city where the grass is green and..... THAT"S A DOG!!!!!!!!
236. I have a peanutty buddy! -Emery
237. (Flipping imaginary pages) Damnit, the page won't turn!!!!! -Emery
238. (German accent) Are your papers in order?-Mr. Molpus
239. "Price check on prune juice, Bob. Price check on prune juice." -Emery
240. Evil monks of Istanbul! -Willow
241. To Serve Men is a cookbook. -Willow
242. If at first you don't succeed, CHEAT! -Michele and Willow
243. Killed a man, with my bare hands, but I always remember, to recycle cans.
Your car I'll jack, while I'm high on crack, when I put my newspapers in a stack.
Robbed a liquor store, then I killed a whore, but I pick my bottles, up off the floor.
I'm a pediphile, and all the while, I wear a smile, when I sort my plastics in a pile. -Willow and Michele
244. Vamp-o-Vision! (blurry red lights in New Orleans bar area- whooooo) -Michele
245. Dancing Jesus! -Michele
246. Look I'm Bald! -Michelle Rice
247. I'm not supposed to jump on the bed. Mommy says only Italians do that. -Stuart
248. Death is the cure for the disease that is life. -Luca
249. Nobody's perfect. I am nobody, I, therefore, am perfect. -Jake da Snake
250. Was he nervous? ARE YOU KIDDING? He had his hands shoved so far down his pockets, he could have pulled up his socks!-Michele (I read it in a story)
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