The Secrets of Life
101. A sewing needle, what the hell!?! What a blond!!!!!!! -Brittney
102. Tara has ghetto beads, and she loves them, so what does she do with them, for the parades she forgets them at home, so her ghetto beads that she are tremendously proud of are stuck at her house while she is out breaking the law, having sexual intercourse with half of the guys in sight and overall just having a GREAT time!!!!!!! -Michele
103. Karen’s roof was on fire!!!! HeHeHeHeHaHaHa!!!!!!! -Tara
104. People who don’t know what stubble is are....................WWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! And that’s not a good WWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! -Michele
105. Magnet clips are the shit. Without them the economy would crumble. -Tara
106. When someone breaks into your house, erased your calls and moves your keyboard, then you know all chaos is soon to break loose. -Tara
107. Tara has a "snail pillow". -Michele
108. It’s broken again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the mouse)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Michele
109. The new show on VH1 sux!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s called "Strange Frequency" and the pilot show had James Marsters in it, and everything was going kewl, but then they had this dumbass guy come in and he signed a contract that gave him his soul or something like that, and then he tried to get out of it so the guy said if he could play this sheet of music without any mistakes he would relieve him of the contract. He was playing it just fine, cause he is the god of all things that are awesome, because he is James Marsters, so he was playing it, and the string broke and his blood dripped on the page and formed notes for him to play. Then there was this huge coda mark and he had to repeat it over and over and over........ then they just leave it like that!!!!!!! They killed him after the first show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is James Marsters, you cannot kill him. He is the MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! He is the hottest thing on the face of this earth and "Strange Frequency" officially has my seal of disapproval, which is a very hard thing to get because I like a lot of shows, but this one SUX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Michele
110. In case you didn’t grasp the consept of the last secret, JAMES MARSTERS IS THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!! -Michele
111. The batman-thing is still longer. -Tara
112. That doesn’t matter, it’s the thought that counts. -Michele
113. That’s just plain crappy. -Tara
114. No, it’s not. It’s artistic vision. -Michele
115. Same as # 112. -Tara
116. You.............are a dumbass. -Michele
117. Same as # 114, which is the same as # 112. -Tara
118. I hate you. You are the epitome of evil. You should not be aloud to roam with the common people, you might scare them. -Michele
119. That’s just plain "not-crappiness". -Tara
120. What is just plain "not-crapiness"? -Michele
121. 2 P’s please. -Tara
122. However the hell you spell it. What does it mean? -Michele
123. I like being the epitoghiud...... –whatever of evil. -Tara
124. You can’t even say it right you dolt. -Michele
125. dolt???? i’m offended by that re....umm....thing. -Tara
126. You should be. You are so dumb, you’re just four cents short of a nickel, you don’t have all of your crayons in one box, you don’t even know what’s inside of a donut, or who Ringo is, you thought he was part of the Beastie Boys!!!!!!!!! You should ride the special bus to school with all the other retarded people. -Michele
127. Sounds like fun. -Tara
(end)
128. Diving illegally is not legal. -Tara
129. Jack crap diddly squat. Jiggling bowl of stupidity. -Michele
130. IT’S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Michele
131. I am the master of all computers, I have once again fixed Tara’s mouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Michele
132. Just so you know, when I was refering to "fixing Tara’s mouse", just know, that that was not a sexual term. Thank you for your cooperation. -Michele
133. I have coconuts! -Tara
134. Tara can’t braid worth a crap!!!! But she says that my hair is nice and soft and silky so I forgive her. -Michele
135. Joe thinks that Anime sux, I totally agree with him, but I like the movie Vampire Hunter D. He says he’s never seen it, but I won’t hold that against him.
136. If you haven’t noticed yet, none of these have to do with the secrets of life. I don’t even know why I’m writing these anymore, but it’s fun to go back and look at them and laugh my ass off. -Michele
137. Did I happen to mention that I, Michele, have once again gone beyond the call of duty and fixed Tara’s mouse. (once again, that is not meant to be a sexual term) -Michele
138. Tara hates poptarts because she was making them and she dropped hers and now they have all this dirt and hair on them and she’s still eating them. She has to inspect each individual piece before she eats them. -Michele
139. Does anybody want to buy a $2 pair of underwear? It’s the deal of a lifetime! One size fits all. (almost) -Tara
140. No matter what a striper tells you, there is no sex in the champaigne room. -Michele
141. Take off that silly ass hat. -Michele
142. It’s broken again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (the mouse)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Michele
143. OK..... NOW I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU HOW THIS WHOLE PAPER STARTED... LISTEN CLOSELY.....................ONE DAY TARA WAS ON THE PHONE WITH MICHELE. WELL, TARA HAD TO USE THE BATHROOM SO SHE USED THE PORTABLE PHONE AND USED THE BATHROOM W/O GETTING OFF THE PHONE. WELL, MAYBE TARA WAS HYPER THAT DAY, OR MAYBE SHE WAS JUST BEING HERSELF... BUT ANYWAY, MICHELE COULD NOT TELL THAT TARA HAD GONE TO THE BATHROOM BUT TARA COULD HEAR THAT MICHELE HAD ALSO GONE TO THE BATHROOM BECAUSE SHE COULD HEAR THE ECHOS IN THE BATHROOM. (END OF PART ONE) (TO BE CONTINUED....) -Tara
144. Chocolate is the life force. -Tara
145. Hey ...... I took the cover off!!! Look it! It looks funny! -Michele
146. The backspace key is broken forever!!! Even the (dun, Dun, DUNN...) GREAT MICHELE can't fix it!!! -Tara
147. I can fix it... I just need the right tool. -Michele
148. (PART TWO) (COUGH) SO,WE STARTED PONDERING (we did?-Michele) (yes, we did) ANYWAY,WE WERE PONDERING WHY THERE IS NO ECHO IN A CLOSET BUT THERE IS ONE IN THE BATHROOM. ALL OF THE SUDDEN (she means "a sudden" -Michele) (no, i mean "the") TARA NOTICED THAT THE SNEAKERS IN THE BATHROOM WERE STARING AT HER. NOTE COLON, (hey change that) (but you said to put note colon, your talking and im dictating -Michele) (i thought i was dictating to you) (uhhh...... -Michele) NOTE: (i forgot what i was going to say) (it was the note colon, does it every time) (END OF PART TWO) (TO BE CONCLUDED.....) -Tara
149. LETS LIVE WITH THE "SQEAKING"..IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S GONNA KEEP YOU UP ANY NIGHTS.OK?!? -Michele
150. It’s not plugged in yet..... so, you can’t WAHHHHHH!!! Ok? -Michele
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