This is a duplicate of something in my on-line diary. Go read my DiArY.
July 3, 2002 @ 2:40 PM:
So...as time goes on I find myself
getting more and more into the club and rave scene, but
I feel more and more lame about it as I do because I have never
even been to a rave. Being that I live in the middle of nowhere
in New Jersey, it is not because I choose to not attend them but
instead because I just can't, there are none around here. But
still...I guess I feel like I'm one of those people trying to be
something I'm not and talking about something that I have no idea
about. But...
I know that I love the music, I love the
idea of it, and I love dancing.
I live for the music and the dancing. Trance and Happy Hardcore
are my choice styles, Progressive House when I am at a club. I
live for the nights when I can talk my friends into going to the
club and I can just dance the night away, not caring what I look
like because nobody else cares either. It doesn't matter if you
can dance well or not, it matters if you try it. As long as you
are feeling the music and expressing your own individuality
through your dancing, and not judging others while you do it,
nobody else cares what you look like, and if they do, then they
dont' matter anyway because they are there for the wrong reasons.
That is why clubs can be irritating sometimes.
A lot of club kids are there to pick up guys/girls or to be cool
or whatever. To me, that's not what it's about. It's about the DJ
controlling the room, the music taking over my soul, and just
dancing. It's about PLUR. In the music, the
scene, I have found somewhere I truly feel like myself and I am
truly happy. I thrive off of these nights, and they leave me
flying on a natural high for weeks to follow.
I try to get my friends to make a long trek to a rave with me, a
good one, but they don't feel it the way I do. And to them the
trip just isn't worth it. But it is to me. Ah, I suppose I will
get to one eventually.
Until then I will continue to find
myself, probably in this great scene, and I will continue to just
be me and express myself the best ways I have found how. I will
dress how makes me happy, and if that means wearing UFO's and
people thinking I'm a lame poser so be it. I will continue to
listen to music that takes over my mind, body, and soul. I will
continue to dance the night away, losing myself in the music, and
not caring how spastic I may look. I will continue to just be me,
lost in the music, lost in the scene, lost in the happiness which
it brings me.
