My on-the-spot excrutiating true thoughts, UNCENSORED
Are you sure your prepared?
6/26/02 3:05pm
I will no longer be continuing my diary on this page. I'v moved hereSomething happend to all of me older entries, and I can't figure out why, And I really don't need it to happen again. So join me there! Fairwell...Emily.
6/23/02 8:30pm
If your wondering what happend to all of my older entries...I don't know, I have to figure it out, but I will soon
6/22/02 12:50am
O h my fucking god, today was so amazing, in fact my entire fucking week was perfect!!!ok well I went to see korn, the were fucking awsome, I saw everybody there, I saw Adam from camping, chris cox (my ex) and his brother, cory frame, Paul (I hooked him and ashley up!), Ana, Jesse, Bryanna, Sawdust, the kid me and juice were chasing in the mall cause we thought he was mikey, and to top it all off, I saw travis, he said that he's gonna meet me camping on the 4th of july, he also said that he still has my necklace and hoodie, he put signed my hoodie and put patches on it..He said it looks kick ass. I cried my eyes out all through "Blurry" But thats ok...now yesterday was fun too, I went to modern lanes with ashley and met jill up there, she brought ian and eddie with her, which is fucking awsome because Ian is hott as hell. But he's predjudice, so that is a total no-no. Anyway we met up with Junior, vince, Joel, chuck and like 3 other people that I don't know, and they all went to go get pot off of this kid jesse. Except Junior and vince, they stayed with us and got 40's, then we all went to damingo's house..And I saw Aaron there, he was all stoned and hitting on me again, but when he came down he declaired his love to me and asked me out...I said yes. So today he called jimmy and told him that we had sex so that jimmy will break up with me. It's cool though I don't really care. So that was that..Now today started out really bad, I was in the worst mood, I had to go to this graduation party that had 250 people at it and I didn't know anyone, the only good part about it was that they had a band playing really good music for me to listen to. So I went to the stupid party and I listend to 2 songs, they they played "blurry". Of course that had to happen to me. I cried my eyes out, right there, in the middle of the party. Besides the fact that I just found out that one of my really good friends is locked up for a year and a half for auto theft. So I was just sitting there lookind around, listen to the music, not even paying attention to the people playing it, then all of a sudden, I looked in the right direction and there was this absolutly beautiful gorgeous guy. He was jumping around on stange singing something, I wasn't really paying attentiong to the music at this point. Now this is the kind of guy that makes you believe that God is a woman, because someone this perfect could not be made by a man. So for the rest of the 4 hours we were there, I sat there and stared at him. Studying his ever move, and my god were they sexy as hell. His voice was so unbelieveable. Finally my mom started talking to me. or she was talking to me the entire time and I just didn't realize it because I was lost in this magnificent creatures' soul. Well when I realized that she was talking to me, she said "Jodi, he keeps looking at you." I didn't really faze me much. While everyone was talking to him in between sets. I wouldn't even get up, I didn't really want to lose sight of him, of fear that I would lose him and I wouldn't be able to stare. Which wasn't a problem with me anyway, because I didn't really want to talk to him anyway, I just wanted to look. At the end of the show about an our later, he had somebody call me over..He told me that he was playing at blue brothers in like a week, it's right down the street from me. He said that he'll sneak me in the back since I'm too young to go in the bar. By the way, my mother told him that I was 18, you know since he's fucking 23!! I didn't know that when I first met him, but it doesn't matter now, I'm allready turned on and he wants to meet me somewhere. So it's too late. Plus, I think he likes me! :) Then I met this kid named chuck, he was a cutie, but I'm not really interested, it was soo funny! He kept following me around, telling me that I was beutiful and that he wanted to hook up, well, this kid is 21, lol, I fucking dying over here, it was so funny, then I was getting hit on by this 30 year old..damn does this list ever end? But it's cool, I this kid, he's really cool, ohand by the way, his name is john.
Right now I:
Hear:Eminem-Without me
Feel:Really tired
Taste:Nothing
Wear:sweat pants, black cutoff shirt, flower panties, and a black bra
Want:to go see Bent blue!! *Again*
6/20/02 2:44pm
I'M GOING TO SEE KORN!!!! I fucking rule! I'll write more after the show, cause I gotta go do shit!
6/17/02 11:04pm
Damn..This week was fucking bad as hell, I loved it. I was fucking everywhere. I stayed over ashleys for like, the past 4 days. I was hanging out with kieth, he got very, um..different. I dunno. The only bad part about it is that I couldn't make it up to roller king to see juice. I smoked with like 10 new people this weekend...but thats about it..So I gotta go..Erika and ashley are here.
6/12/02 12:42am
Heh, well oday was pretty cool, I guess. Jim is gonna break up with, lmao. I don't give a shit, really. Oh well, he's gonna break up with me cause that asshole scumbag John Sims said that I was giving juice head in the back of Roller king, now how much bullshit is that! I'd never give anyone head in the back of roller king, I wasn't even at roller king this weekend! I was camping...Hello?! duh! Whatever, I don't care, it's bull shit anyway...I hope he does break up with me, penis-wrinkle. In other news, I was chillin with rich, pikle, kevin, and kenny today, that was pretty cool, I'll probably be with them tomorrow too! But I gotta go, my mum needs to use the computer.
Right now I:
Hear:Thirteen ghosts
Feel:Wierd
Taste:Cheesburger
Wear:crossfront shirt, jeans, white flower panties and white bra
Want:Krimpets..
6/9/02 10:06pm
here you go everybody..the first picture ever to be put up on my diary..this is the chick from Jack of jill..one of the most kick ass chic bands..Anyway, my weekend was kick ass. Travis wasn't up there though, that was the only bad part about it. On friday I went up there and saw "C" again for the first time in over a year..I almost died when I saw him..He changed alot, he's a thug now, and has forgotten about what we went through last year, he insists that it wasn't real. I don't blame him. I met this kid named billy who is unbelievably fasinated with the fact that I'm bi. I think it halarious..He wanted me to touch all of his stuff because he says they're now lesbian artifacts. Don't ask me..the only bad part about this weekend is that I fucked over juice, that sucked sop bad, sorry juice, I didn't mean it!! I'll make it up to you. I promise. And..I got sun burmed really really bad, I feel like a plum, because I'm not red..I'm purple. I'm going back up on the fourth of july..I don't even think I can wait..
Right now I:
Hear:Dylan's voice talking to me, I'm not really listening.
feel:Sore
taste:dryness
wear:A long shirt
Want:to be soothed from my pain..ahhh...
6/7/02 5:24pm
I can't really write much because I'm leaving soon I just wanted to fill you in on whats goin on...I'm going camping for the weekend, I might see travis I might not..But I'll definetly tell you guys all about it when I get back...by the way, Kc got outta lock up today!!!
5/30/02 9:13pm
I’m talking to juice right now…He’s taking pictures for me of his room. The disc just fucked up on him. lol, dork off. Well anyway, today was really cool, I got tickets to go see KoRn for my birthday. I started crying. I got 4 tickets so that I can take a friend. I was gonna take Jim with me..LMAO, Juice is telling me how he’s gonna kill this kid that jumped him..it’s gross but creative. He’s gonna cut off the guys penis and feed it to him in spoonfuls, now doesn’t that sound sick? Yeah that’s what I thought. Anyway..about the concert, I was gonna take jim but I figured that since I’m gonna meet Travis there. It wouldn’t be a good idea. So I’m gonna take KC with me..Oh great, I’m on hold. Nevermind, we just hung up. I changed the name of the band..I know, we go through so many of them, but I really like this one, ready…Juice..lmao. That kicks ass, so now all of our fans can be called juice junkies! Well I gotta go..Oh by the way. I fucked with this chic for Juice..you can read the convo this to me today. He sounds pretty mad. Fuck it man, he’s gotta understand that I’m with Jim and I’m totally happy with him. And it’s not like he did something wrong! So what the fuck ever! The new KoRn album is coming out tomorrow I can’t fucking wait..and in two days is my b-day. Well Imma going, see ya round
5/15/02 8:28pm
I'm talking to bobby, I just woke up. We went down to rock street today, and B & C and wyane's world, and right aid. lol It was fun. I got to see my new guitar, I want it soooo bad. I cream from staring at it too long, but that was supposed to be a secret. We finally came up with a band name, Tease. It's a long story. I got my class switched, they took me away from Mikey and Juice..I'm really upset about it, it sucks so bad.I fucking hate it!! FUCK YOU MUSTO YOU BALD FAGGOT!!
Hear:Phish-Farmhouse *sniff*
Feel:different Taste:Fish sticks, mmmmm... Wear:hoodie, jeans, black swirl shirt.. Want:to go out.
5/11/02 10:32pm
I'm babysitting right now, and if this fucking kid doesn't stop crying that my brother is calling him a baby, I'm going to kill him myself. I fucking hate kids, they piss me off. Anyway lets start with uhh, well the beginning since I didn't get to update, Well on friday I got into a big fight with Pedro because he was being a dickhead, he told me that he was going to dump Maria and was flirting with me in lunch and everything, well when we got on the bus the very same day, that fucker was being all cuddley with her.. I thought it was halarious that I fell for another one of his lies so I just started laughing, then I couldn't stop, he goes "What is so funny?" I turned to him and go "You a fucking liar!" The Maria is asking him all these questions, what I am talking about and he's denying it, saying that he doesn't know. So I just got off the bus, and I didn't even say anything, I didn't tell her that she cheated on her twice or anything, I just left peacefully. So we started talking on the walk home and he just gave me this look. I said "Whats that look for?" and he just shrugged, he said that he still did care about me but he cares about her, and that he was confused I told him that I didn't believe him and that was it. I'll talk to him in school on monday.
The better side:Yesterday kicked so much ass. I went to the mall with Bobby and met juice up there, I went with no money and came back with more shit then I would have if I actually had money, Bobby bought me this kick ass Evil Emily action figure, It kicks so much ass, I love it. Juice stole me this red spike braclet and a metal trible heart braclet. I love em' They are beeeeutiful. lol, no they really do kick ass. We got arrested for paying 4 dollers to get one of those baby carriges to push juice around in, then we got in trouble. This butch lesbian-man cop made us put it back within 10 minutes of having it. Without our money back, but it was funny. We got our pictures taken and we look really fucked up..I mean, really bad. Yeah yesterday kicked ass.
Today Bryan came over, he was supposed to crash at our house but my mom wouldn't let him and we couldn't find him a ride. So I have no clue how we got home, It sucked I was just sitting there with him having fun, watching porn, and then my dad calls me and goes, "Jodi get ready your going over jimbo's to babysit." I'm like fuck. So I think Bryan may have had to walk home. Pedro dicked him over and he didn't get to see him. Why is he being such an asshole?! I called Jim up and told him that I cheated on him. He's not mad at me, he understands because he did it with Jesse, that or he cheated on me, but he said he didn't. I'm glad he's not mad at, he should be though, I deserve to get dumped. But I didn't. I really hope me and Jimany last, because I really like him. No more cheating for me. I'm gonna break any more hearts. Unless I see mikey over at his brothers house, then you know, thats an exception. *winks* I gotta got hough. You've probably gotten bored of reading.
Right now I:
Hear:American Hi Fi-A bigger mood
Feel:Cute
Taste:Thin crust bacon pizza..mmmm..
Wear:jeans, black heartshirt with glitter.ooohh, shiney! black bra, white flower panties.
Want:Mikey..(But don't tell anyone)
5/9/02 6:03pm
I'm talking Bryan..Heh, we're making plans, I can't wait to see him again. I miss him so much, It hasn't been the same since he moved. It was always Me, Pedro and Bryan. Thats why I can't wait till he comes over. He wants to crash here for the night, I hope my mom lets him. He can sleep downstairs and I can sleep upstairs, then she won't have anything to worry about. Anyway, Yesterday sucked ass. Ok here's whats up, I went for a walk to the woods with Pedro, and of course we ended up fucking around, we didn't have sex or anything but he bit my neck, you know the usual. Anyway, right when I was about to bit him, my mom came down and saw us there, I was sitting on him and outlining his shirt with my fingers, and she like, flipped out, mainly because I'm not supposed to be with him and I was. But still she shouldn't have flipped out the way she did. She's getting a PFA on him or something. She doesn't want me around him at all But I think I'll be able to manage. He told me that he was gonna break up with Maria, but I doubt that he will, he never does anything he says he’s gonna do. But what can I do? If he doesn’t do this then I know he’s lying to me, and that he just fed me bullshit all along. But it’s accepting it that’s the problem. I don’t know if I could handle knowing that everything he said to me was lies and I gave everything I had to him for absolutely nothing. That would kill me. Anyway, on the other end of the world, there is good news, Mikey looked extremely gorgeous, AGAIN today. Why does he have to be so hot? Why the fuck hasn’t he asked me out yet! I mean, he has to be attracted to me at least a little bit, because he’s always touching me in some way. Heh..I could kill him for that though. I completely zoned out when I was staring at him. It’s so fucked up that I never saw him this way before, he’s not a different person or anything, but he was always like my little brother and then one day BAM! “Hey wanna have sex? Your extremely hott, and I want you really bad.” It’s actually kinda funny. I think I’m a Nympho, for some reason I like, am obsessed with sex. I think I’m gonna get a camera when I go to the mall to smoke up with Juice and Bobby tomorrow. I wanna just go picture crazy on Mikey, and get like uh, heh, pictures of him, and maybe a couple of his ass because he has a really cute ass. *Shivers* I just got chills up my spine..See I get goosebumps even thinking about it. Lol. I’m waiting for Juice to call me back, I’m really bored and Bobby can’t come up..He said he was gonna call me back when he was dome eating, but he was really baked so he probably forgot about it, fucking stoner.
Right now I:
Hear:Nine Inch Nails-The perfect drug
Feel:Empty
Taste:nothing
Wear:jeans, red hoodie, black bra and fishie panties
5/7/02 1:04pm
I just woke up like an hour ago, I got to stay home from school today, considering the fact that my parent thought I was dead because I've been sleeping since 4:00 yesterday afternoon. I got really stoned yesterday with Pedro. Then right after we smoked and I asked him what was in it because my lips were numb. The fucking dickhead told me that he smoked opium in the same exact bowl..I'm gonna fucking kill him. I couldn't yell at him yesterday because I was so fucked up. But why would he do that to me? How could he be such a fucking asshole! Then right after we smoked he goes, are you leaving soon, cause I gotta call maria, He fucked me over for her. I've had enough of him. Thats it dor me, I don't want to give up on him but I have to. I just can't take anymore of him. Fucking asshole. By the way, I just nnoticed that when I start to go insane or if there is something wrong, I gently keep pushing my fingers together...Is that normal?
Right now I:
Hear:Blind Melon-No Rain
Feel:Horrible
Taste:Chocolate ice cream
Wear:my pajama's
Want:To get over all of this
5/2/02 4:49pm
I hope noone from school reads this, except you know, Juice, Well here's what happend today..heh,Well all of the problems between me and Pedro were solved yesterday. Pedro confessed that he didn't really want to be with Maria and that he wanted to be with me. And he made that VERY clear, when we had sex in the woods today. LMAO..(Message to Maria: He's still mine) I don't really remember how it all happend, but it was great. I have to bring my makeup to the bus stop tomorrow, I gave him a very bad bite mark on his neck. he probably won't come to school, though. I'm sorry I haven't updated latly. I kinda grounded and I'm not supposed to be on the computer. But I managed today. So I'll update more later whenever I get the chance..
Right now I:
Hear:Offspring-Smash
Feel:Sore lol
Taste:Pedro *sigh*
Wear:kittie shirt, jeans. Purple bra
Want:to rub this day in Maria's face just as she did to me!
4/28/02 8:47pm
Bobby just left. I got to hang out with him today because I couldn't go over Jim's I definetly am tomorrow though..I'm going out with him now. Finally after a fucking year and a half, he askes me out! I'm so thrilled it's unbelievable..I don't know what to do with myself! I'm too excited..lol.Well I just wanted to update you..And chic and Kellie said that he didn't want me..:)
Right no I:
Hear:Vanessa Carlton-A thousand miles
Feel:Amazing
Taste:nothing
Wear:The same thing as before
Want:Nothing, my life is perfect
4/28/02 3:41pm
Nothing has happend all weekend, I was supposed to hang out with Mikey and Juice yesterday, but they fucked me over..Whatever, they're assholes anyway. So I just stayed home, I didn't have a ride to go anywjere else..I'm going over Jim's today, he says that he has something important to ask me, but he can only ask me in person..So I wanna go over there and see what the hell it is..I'm dying here! I'm probably gonna have sex with him too, probably because I've been wanting to for over a year and a half now. I was supposed to hang out with Bobby, but I don't know if I can handle that, he's like right up my ass..He calls me and asks me if I'm ready, not even asking if my mom is up, if I'm even allowed to go..Then he asks me when my mom is getting up, as if I know! And then he tells me to wake her up!! I don't know how many drugs he took this morning but I am NOT ever going to wake my mom up, It's like risking my life..I got really really bored yesterday and made {this} I just thought I would share it with you. lol
Right now I:
Hear:Tom Petty-Here comes my girl
Feel:Annoyed
Taste:Vienna mint cookies, mmmmm!
Wear:Deformed leasurewear shirt, jeans, black panties with pink outline, and white bra.
Want:pot :)
4/25/02 6:01pm
Sorry everybody, I've kinda been like a ghost in the shadows latley, I haven't gotten time to update, but now I do, because I'm a loser and noone wants to hang out with me today, heh. I just got back from Kevin's, he took me and Chuck to get my mom dog food, Oh my god what a trip that was, we were in the store looking for it then all of a sudden we just looked at each other, and we started looking around, I smelled pot and obviously he did too, because he was helping me look! lol, we got so distracted that we forgot which brand of dog food to get. so I just closed my eyes and picked one. But it was still funny. I just got off of poetryboard not to long a