The Smegma Sandwich

It’s spring (or so I’m told) so I’ve dragged myself out of my pit and spring-cleaned the site.. Well, tweaked it a bit at least!

The new look is in conjunction with my new, radical perspective on the universe. Drum roll please...... I’ve found religion in my life so I’ve decided to dedicate the site to that. I’ve also become obsessed with Stephen Hawking, but more about that later, heheh.

When I say I’ve found religion I don’t mean that I’ve started Bible-bashing or anything - I’m still a total atheist - only that I’ve formulated my ideas into a totally rational ideology and I’m ready to start ramming them down people’s throats *ahem*. So to speak.

I read somewhere that if 1000,000 people write the same thing in the religion box on a consensus form, it becomes fact. And it’s in this way that those bloody Star Wars fans got ‘Jedi’ registered.

If I could set up an ‘official’ religion I wouldn’t have to pay tax or go to work - I could go around talking gibberish and calling it scriptures or whatever. My house would become a shrine and punks, and skins and rastas (and nympho-birds of course..) would make pilgrimages to Nunhead and leave donations...

Judging by the traffic I get through here (159 in 3 months and half of those were me!!) it’ll be a struggle to get 100,000 people to write

SMEGMA SANDWICH

on their consensus forms... ah bugger it - hopefully I’ll just get loads of money and sex instead!

From now on my name will be Vincent Albert Zanadu and the date today will be 0 in the new age of your lord (ie. me).

Here are some porno pictures of a midget.

Onward!