“I’m you’re RA…resident assistant…resident assistant. I’m not the resident counselor, I’m not the resident mother, I don’t need to know everything. If your friend is throwing up in the bathroom, I don’t need to know. Everybody throws up, he’s lucky he made it to the bathroom. Just give him a tic tac and a pillow and leave him ALONE. Leave him ALONE. I don’t need to know your suitemate’s smoking crack. I don’t need to know. Just tell him to exhale through an empty toilet paper roll stuffed with dryer sheets…make it smell like the mountain spring freshness of crack. I don’t need to know. I don’t need to know if you’ve got a 40 ounce beer ball keg, playing beer pong, flip cup, century club, gots some zoomy zoomy going on…I don’t need to know, cause I don’t care. Your girlfriend broke up with you? I don’t care. Your roommate’s a pain in the ass? I don’t care. You make a booty call at four in the morning and she got a friend? I CARE. Remember me…”-Jimmy Fallon
Think of someone of "average" intelligence. Then think, half the world is dumber than that.
Man today I feel so uncompetent...
Soft Corn Poor, wait a minute that ain't right...
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
"Who the hell makes out in Alex's?!?!" -Greta's friend
"Oh yeah, that would be my roommate...."-Greta
Lance's girl, I miss you! Luv, JC's go-go girl
Congratulations! You've just won a free ticket to Special Ed!
Krissy: Where the hell am I?
Greta: Is is time to go to Wal-mart yet?
Krissy: Is Zizzo in my bed?
Greta: I don't know...Dude, what are you doing in MY bed?
Krissy: I'm going to my bed now....
ADHD, hmmm? That explains sooo much.-My mom
The mind of a Pentium 3; the memory of a 286.
I've searched around this whole damn place, and everything says that you were meant to be my girlfriend.-Josh
Or maybe it just goes well with semen. That's something to put on a wine label: Serve with game hen, red sauce, and fellatio. -Audrey
The bed's was normal-looking enough, but it was enormous. Like swimming-pool sized. I could fit six people on the bed and still have room for a dozen vibrators and a few circus animals, to boot. - Audrey
Being a lesbian would be so much easier if I didn't like guys so much...
Justin:"You're banging on trouble's door."
Sarah:"Honey, I'm busting down the door and coming in for cake!"
Krissy: "That's it! I'm taking the keys and I'm going to Sterling, Virgina! You'll never see me again!"
Greg: "Uh, you can't drive."
Krissy: "Details, details..."
Didn't you learn ANYTHING from clueless? TWO permits MAKE a license.
What's that you say? You want to go to Sterling, Virginia and go to a road house bar to see a hot bartender named Austin? Well, you just read my mind!
What can I say? I just have that inate ability to make people want to take care of me. It's kind of like baby animals, they're cute and adorable and it makes you want to take care of them. I'm the same way, cute and adorable so people feel the need to take care of me.
Krissy: Yo ho! Yo ho! A priate's life for me!
Sara: Will you shut up?
Krissy: We piliage and plunder, we rifle the loot. Drink up me hearties, yo ho!
Sara: I'm not with you.[Sara covers her face]
Krissy: You're the one who brought me here.[Krissy continues to sing the pirate song even though the ride is NOT playing it]
Sara: I'm going to throw you over the side of the boat.
Krissy: You're no fun.
That's because you have a L-o-o-o-o-ve hangover...
“If I speak in the tongues of women and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor, and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps not record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a woman, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13
There are those of you out there that know why this is here and why it's special to me. Hugs and kisses to you all. - Krissy
