i'd been awake and paralyzed
........................for an hour and a half--
i counted each red glaring minute. i felt like you
..................killed me
or should have. a headache
.............was yanking the hair at my temples,
pulling me from the wreckage of my bed.
i watched the coffee.....drip
for fifteen minutes, a bic pen
clamped between my teeth.
...............................(my fingers shook too much to hold it)
i fell asleep balled up on the couch;
i dreamt you took me
.................in the shower
......and the blood ran
...............down
.........my legs, swirling
...............down
in perfect horror cliche.
i woke up and tears had sewn
..........................my lashes shut,
hoping to blind me.
they ran from my fingers,
..................curled beneath my chin.
i cried for the times you held me
...........................and it wasn't too tightly;
when i didn't gasp for breath
..............................(didn't gasp or beg)
i cried for my whipped-cream dreams
and the prom dress
..................that still hung in the closet.
