Glasses with just one arm
Chews gum like a lamma
Slaps his chest like Tarzan
I think he is the bomb(a)!

Oh Mr. Haggerty and all the things you do for me
But these days are almost gone.
Oh Mr. Haggerty, you don't know what you meant to me
But it's time that we move on.

Remember that day my arm snapped off
Cuz i fell so far down.
We both landed in a pit
My head split open on the ground.

We knew Haggerty would help us
When he looked down in the pit.
What reassuring words did he scream?
"SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT!"

Oh Mr. Haggerty and all the things you do for me
But these days are almost gone.
Oh Mr. Haggerty, you don't know what you meant to me.
But it's time to say SO LONG!