I sat alone, watching T.V.,
When too much drinking caused the need for me to pee.
As I went to the bathroom, I heard a scream,
I heard the bang of a gun and I thought it was a dream.
I came down the stairs and a thump was heard.
I was trying to see who was there, but I heard no word.
I went outside and I thought there was a face in the mud,
Then I heard another shot and the splatter of more blood.
The telephone rang and it stopped in mid-ring.
An explosion was then heard and a man started to sing.
In all confusion, I asked if someone was there,
Because anymore screams or shots I could not bear.
The only answer I got was more screams and another shot.
I decided to go into the kitchen and arm myself with a pan and pot.
Bang! Another shot. Eek! Another scream.
I was beginning to wonder if this was what it seemed.
I ventured through the house as another moan was heard,
And I heard a voice saying, "Mr. Bond, you are as dead as a sitting bird!"
I sat on the couch and realized what was scaring me.
I searched for the remote and turned off the T.V.