12/05/02 (9:15 PM):Well, so far, I suppose December is going alright. Tomorrow, I go on a long weekend for a church retreat. I come back Sunday afternoon. I don't know whether it will be worth it or what, but I guess we'll just have to find out. The only possible outcome of this retreat is to either make things better b/w ppl or make things worse. Well, I'll let ya all go for now, I'm waiting for......well, you know. Talk later. Night.
12/10/02 (10:50 PM):Well, the retreat is over. It was ok, but one thing was missing, which I'm sure most of us know what. Anyhoo, a fight has broken out once again, I don't think it was much, but it really killed me, the one thing she said. I will not go into detail b/c, well....it's none of your business. Anyhoo, I went to a choir concert tonight. It was pretty good. I was kinda ticked I couldn't see her b/c some fat chick was in the way. I was looking for some way to recognize her through all the people, then I knew I saw her. Some part in me said, "That's her, I know it!" The funny thing is, even though I've never really gotten close to them, I recognized her by her lips. I got a better look at her the 2nd time around, and yes...I did see her when she was standing on the side, don't think I didn't look for her, not that I'm obssessed, I'm just in love. Anyhoo, when I saw her singing, I felt a smile on my face, which makes me think of a line in my poem saying, "Love is a smile you can't keep off your face." It's so true. We kinda fought and I was really down and out, but for some reason, I can't stay that way with her, she brings joy to me even if she doesn't want to. It's weird. Well, my parents are nagging me, I must be going. Night.
12/11/02 (9:40 PM):Well, today couldn't be more crappy. Today, I got in my first car wreck. Luckily, it wasn't with someone else, only a tree, a stupid tree that shouldn't have been there. I hit some sort of ice patch and went into a fish tail, which I couldn't get out of. I lost control of the car and it hit a tree, breaking the tire rod. Everything was looking crappy, I knew my dad would not be happy at all. Anyhoo, he came, yelled, and we waited for a tow truck. He called at 3, one didn't come until like 5:45. In the middle of that, a policeman came and took a report of the accident. Luckily, he let me off with a warning. However, I have a huge bill to pay for myself, I'm grounded, and I have to ride the frickin' bus now. Oh well, like someone said, at least I'm not hurt. That's all for today. Night.
12/19/02 (9:35 PM):Well, another hectic day. The week went so great, everything seemed...pleasant. However, I have to be a retard and ruin it for myself by asking a stupid question that I shouldn't have asked. Then, it all seemed to fall apart. I knew something that good could never come to me, but my curiousity got the best of me once again. Well, I should be somewhat grateful, and I hope (ha, hope) that this will not ruin anything. Anyway, I woke up this morning and was so grateful b/c it was raining outside. I thought that God was mourning for me, that he was crying for me too. It felt good to know he loved me and cared. I felt better. Well, that's all. Night.
12/25/02 (9:55 PM):Well, today of course is Christmas! My Christmas was the usual Christmas. Last night we had the Christmas Eve Service at church and I got to play what child is this on the piano for a prelude type thingy. Also, my youth minister, Homer, and his wife, Erin, came over afterward for some food and stuff. It was alright. All I got for Christmas was some clothes, a watch, money, and candy. Not a whole lot, but then again, I didn't ask for anything. We later went to my Aunt Cookie's house and had supper there. My dad had me drive for most of the way there so I'd "get used to driving in the snow!" Oh well, he didn't even have to say anything, and if he did, I was already ahead of him. Geez. Anyway, I did get a bit of a relief at the end of the day. All I will say is...it was accepted and I didn't make anyone mad, so I'm very happy, and if you have no idea what I'm talking about....good. Well, I'm off. Later. Night.
12/30/02 (9:30 PM):Well, this will probably be the last time I write for the year of 2002 b/c I'm going to a New Year's Eve Party at my church. Life is doing okay, always could be better, but then again, it always could be worse. I'm back at work for 5 hours a day. I work everyday this week except on New Year's Day. The hours aren't too bad and neither is the work. However, I do have to sort trash. There was a ton today! Oh well, as I told the guy who gave me like 10 boxes more, the more the merrier! Well, I can't think of too much to say. Although, no matter what they say I don't have a daughter....just twins (and they're STILL coming...takes em forever!). Also, the next time Jared disguises himself as the cable guy to "come and fix the cable," I'm gonna smack him! Talk later. Night.