A TAIL OF MUCH RECKLESS ABANDOM (or "teh screwed")

Elijah was lonely and longed for a good hard fuck from Dom who was currently undergoing a great ordeal with chipolatas from France. Elijah didn't know this, and so he went hunting for Dom because he was horny. Instead he found a small dog. He squeed and petted it, but suddenly a worm escaped out of the dog's mouth and rabidly chewed on Elijah's mustache. Elijah squealed and ran, but infection had already got a hold of him, and he continued his hunt for Dom, his princess. As he ran to find him, he felt strange sensations growing inside his pants. He kept running, even though his shoes were only attatched to his chin now. He screamed and wondered breifly where his legs and body had gone, but did not care for long, as a GIGANTIC HORSE appeared and said: "why, hello, Elijah, I hear you had an incident with rabid worms. I want you to know I understand and will be glad to ... cheer you up." Elijah made a face like this --> o.0 and agreed that horses were sexy, but disturbing. He hobbled down the street, suddenly even more horny, (probably due to the worms inside him) so he bought sushi from a local merchant, then grabbed the dog and fucked it with the sushi. The sushi cried tears of woe, and sang "I Feel Pretty" to raise it's self confidence. Then Elijah joined in, and was having so much fun he didn't notice Viggo slapping the GIGANTIC HORSE from behind a dustbin and frolicking with joy. The GIGANTIC HORSE squealed in delight and ecstasy and pushed his arse into Viggo's floppy hands, and Viggo fucked him into the dustbin. Meanwhile DOM was fondling young sheep and danced into a cowpat, just as Elijah noticed Orlando flailing on top of a chimney and Ian McKellan kicking him in the back while dancing to "Night Fever". Elijah waved, and then fucked Johnny Depp, who had appeared from nowhere and was shaving Elijah's Japanese friend Yohan. Dom suddenly arrived, and Elijah gave him an ev0l!smirk as he shagged and Johnny shaved. Dom got jealous of Viggo's horny horse, and wished Elijah would neigh like that.