My New Year
by Elijah Woodworm
This New Year I looked for Dom.
I found a small dog.
I grew a mustache. Go me.
The Small Dog put it's tongue in my ear and ate my mustache.
I had strange sensations in my pants (tm).
My legs and body disappeared.
I bought some sushi and fucked The Small Dog with it.
Then Johnny Depp appeared and I fucked him, too.
With my foot.
He shaved my head.
I got worms.
The end.
My New Year
by Dom Monawormghan
This New Year I was chased by French chipolatas.
I ran away and became a princess. Go me.
I fondled young sheep and danced into cowpat.
It was better than secks.
Then I got home and found my boyfriend Elijah had turned rabid and was foot!fucking Johnny Depp.
I felt shamed.
I also got worms.
The end.
My New Year
by Yohan
This New Year I got shaved.
By a ho.
It was the greatest sexual experience of my life. Go me.
Unfortunately the ho gave me worms.
The end.
My New Year
by Gimli
This New Year I became a small and hairy but sexual creature of the night. Go me.
Except I was already small and hairy o.0
I had a threesome with Viggo and his horse.
The horse came on my face.
It tasted like strawberries.
And cream.
Then I died.
Twice.
Because I got worms.
The end.
My New Year
by Johnny Depp
This New Year I appeared from nowhere.
Shaved a Japanese man called Yohan.
He called me a ho.
It upset me.
Even though it was probably because I was being foot!fucked by a small rabid tomato which looked like Elijah Woodworm gone wrong.
But it still upset me.
In revenge, I shaved the tomato's head. Go me.
But.
The tomato.
Gave me worms.
The end.
My New Year
by GIGANTIC HORSE
This New Year I had not had sex for five years.
Boy, did that change.
A dirty man and a sexy, hairy, creature of the night visited me in a dream.
The hairy creature did disturbing things to me.
He smelt like musk.
So I came on his face. Go me.
Then I noticed how floppy Viggo's hands were as he slapped me.
This excited me beyond belief.
He fucked me into a dustbin.
My life was complete.
Then I got worms.
The end.
My New Year
by Viggo Morewormssoon
This New Year I realised how HOT my horse was. Go me.
I felt I needed to confide in someone.
So I told Gimli everything.
He helped me shag my horse.
Am disturbed by how well they got on.
Especially since Horse came on Gimli and not me.
My hands went floppy in despair.
I slapped Horse.
He seemed to like it.
So I fucked him into a dustbin.
With my hands.
He gave me worms.
The end.
