Welcome, my brother/sister(whichever you prefer), to Maruchanism. Maruchanism is the only true religion in existance, and I happen to have created it. It is the best religion because(school report style, NOOO!) (1)You can be lazy (2)You don't have to pray or suck up to any gods(Maruchan is the nicest guy, he hangs out with me all the time! He treats me like an equal) (3)All you have to do is eat Ramen Noodle Soup(so easy to make) and you won't go to hell and have to eat Sac's mom's noodles. So, I've heard they are good(Sac and Jon), but I'd like to see Sac's mom take on Maruchan in a fist fight! Come on! Bring it! Damn he can fight. Anywho, now that you are a Maruchanist, here is what you must do as an initiation: (1)Boil two cups of water in a saucepan, add noodles and cook three minutes, stirring occasionally. (2)Turn off heat, add contents of seasoning package, stir. (3)Serve immediately for best results. Makes 2-8oz. servings. Heil Maruchan! Oh yea, I almost forgot to tell you this religion is polytheistic. I better give you the story. It all started with CHAOS! No, wait, I mean... Maruchan. Yea, that's it. And he made Zeu... Chicken Flavor. The big pimp god, who sat ontop of a mountain, lazily eating himself. And then Maruchan made Apoll... Beef Flavor, who was like, cool and stuff!?! Then Maruchan said, "Let there be... uhh... Poseid... Oriental Flavor!" And then on the 4rth day(yes, I just started counting, don't bother looking back) Maruchan made Hera... Creamy Chicken Flavor who nobody has heard of, and is the female form of Chicken Flavor. Then Maruchan made fossils and evolution on his final day. Then the next day he made his logo. He died. It was sad. The next day he made a slut out of his left nut that a snake dared him to eat off of a potato tree because he didn't like Creamy Chicken Flavor. Then he made his religion popular and said bad things about other religions so people converted because they didn't want to be made fun of. Then Maruchan converted to Atheism and met Ryan Ponderosa(misssspilled form of me). Ryan immediately converted Maruchan to Maruchanism. The only purpose of that was to show why it was actually me who created the religion. Then Maruchan touched me in bad ways. I didn't like it, but he said as my god it was ok. I slapped him silly and unmercifulless, and he realized that what he had done was wrong. After realizing that he touched me, he immediately became abstinant. He married Mrs. Glaze and they had hot wild sex every night. Then Maruchan slapped the damn weird lisp(kinda, except it's a "ch" sound instead of "s") thing that Mrs. Glaze has out of her mouth. Ryan was reported to AOL and raped to death. He is currently living in Rockford. He is also retarded. I am he. I stole the last 2 lines from the Mr. Show website bios. Yay. Nobody will read this far. The end. If this religion offends you in any way, then write to Ryan and tell him, and you will be unconverted, and your village will be made out of the smelly wood chips that are right in the neighborhood of AHS. Nothing I have said will ever be significant or make any sense. Either will I.