note: all of these poems were written by me. If you steal any of them, you're a fucking idiot and a loser who can't write your own poem

Pain
I can feel the pain rush through my body
The pain of old memories
Brought back by a few words I heard
And started a chain reaction of tears
I've revealed the secret I've had inside for so long

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Dreams
Escape reality
To the realm of dreams
It seems so beautiful
On the surface
But deep inside
It's not

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Misunderstood
Don't say you understand
I know you don't
Don't say you know me
Not even I do
Don't say I don't have to be sad
You don't know what it's like
To not know why
The depressions are killing me

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Whore
A fallen angel
Lost her wings
Raped and killed in a dark alley
Nobody will ever notice or care

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The Right Thing To Do
If you want to die
Die right here and right now
Don't die for me
And don't die for your god
Die for yourself
And for your depressions
Because they want you dead

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The End
Dark angels lose their wings and grow horns
Just like a thorn on a black rose
Show me what life is all about
Show me what pain is
Tell me it's almost over
I'm losing my sanity
It's almost over

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The Taste Of You
The taste of you is still on my lips
I can still feel your hands on my body
I can still feel you inside of me
The taste of you is still on my lips

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Wishes
If I had a knife
I would cut myself
The depressions will flow out with the blood
If I had some wine
I would drink it
To forget
If I had a gun
I would end my life
Here and now

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Joanne
You are Joanne
With your cheery smile
And your angelic hair
You hold my hand
Tell me that you understand
But you can never be mine
You're too much a woman
To love a girl like me

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Fräulein Christa Päffgen
She was a dark haired giant
Dressed in black
With a tough girl attitude
Once a world class beauty
Then scarred by needles
Now gone forever
Though her songs remain
Her cryptic, poetic lyrics
Her deep Germanic voice
Powerful impressions
Of a world in her mind
She makes me feel what she felt
Alone and dependant
Dependant of the drug
That pumped through her veins
Without it she died
How ironic
She is gone forever
But her songs remain the same

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Soon, My Dear
Soon, my dear
The world shall fall for us
Loneliness exists no more
And soon, my dear
Angels will come down to earth
They will take us with them
To heaven
But even sooner
My dear
I will be in your arms again
And kiss your lips

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Niandra LaDes
Niandra LaDes,
What's in your veins?
What's the meaning of that song?
It doesn't make any sense
You're killing yourself
Can't you see?
Don't slip away in darkness
Return to the light
Return as the Frusciante
We all know and love

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I Wish You Would
Oh girl,
I wish you would
Love me
Like I love you
All my problems
Would go away
If I had your love

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Love Is A Drug

Love is a drug
And I'm trying to break free
I want to be independent
From Your love and affection

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My Mirror

Look into these eyes
And tell me what you see
Do you see what I see
A soul so tortured
She should be dead
But the wings of mortality
Won't let her be dead

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Heartbreak part 1

I always thought
The next heartbreak
Would be lethal
But I survived once more
Damn this weak mind of mine
Suicide requires courage
And I have none
Without you
I can't live without you
But I still can't die without you

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Divine

You, my beloved
Are divine
You are the only one
Who fill my heart
And everything you are
Is divine

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The Light In My Constant Darkness

You touched me
Like no man has ever done before
You were closer to me
Then no one has ever been before

Now that you're too far away
To love me the way you want to
Oh, how I long for the touch of your hands
Your gentle kisses upon my lips

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The Lonely Girl

Don't look at me
And tell me if I scare you
You fear
What I do to myself

Don't look at me
I'm too ugly for your eyes

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CD

There's something about you
That affects my heart
Like no other man can do

But, alas, love is not always returned
Like my warm feelings for you

There's something about everything you do
And everything you are
That makes me weak
That makes me fall even deeper
In love with you

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Miss Depression

Little Miss Depression
Please get out of my mind
You have controlled me long enough
Now it's my turn
To have control of my life
Without you, Miss Depression
To twist my mind
To see everything through a pessimist's eyes

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Sunrise/Sunset

Even after the most beautiful sunset comes darkness
A darkness seemingly endless
If you don't know how to spend the time
Instead of wallowing in your misery
Tell me what's wrong
Maybe I can help you,
Maybe I can't
But I want to be your friend
I want to try to help you
Even after the longest night
Comes a beautiful sunrise
Sunset, night, sunrise, day
But always remember, my friend:
Days are usually longer than nights

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Emotional Suicide

I commit emotional suicide
By subconsciously falling for a man
I know doesn't love me

The perverted soul of a poet
Tortures, murderers herself
For the sake of art

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Giving My Heart Away

I've ripped out my heart
Straight from my chest
And I'm handing it to you
Wrapped in silk
As a gift to prove my love

But what will you do
When you don't feel the same?
Will you return it,
Or rip it into a million bleeding pieces?

Either way,
My heart is so wounded
I don't know if the hurting
Will ever stop

Because how can it not hurt
When the person you love
Doesn't love you back

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Self-Esteem?
When a pretty girl
Looks in the mirror
An ugly face
Looks back
She applies
More make-up
But she still
Thinks
She's ugly
"Maybe"
She thinks
"If I were thinner
I wouldn't be
Ugly"
She vomits up
Everything she's eaten
Today
She slims down
Quickly
Now
She must be
Happier
She is so
Thin
Beautiful
People say
She's
Thin
Beautiful
People
Like her
Love her
"Maybe"
She thinks
"They'll love me
More
If I were
Thinner"
So she keeps
Starving
Vomiting

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My Love
Summer
Warm
Bright

My heart
Cold
Dark

My love
A friend
Only
A friend

My heart
Broken
In pain

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Dearest Friend
Craving your love
Dependant of your passion

Ceaseless
Dreams of you

Chained my love
Dearest friend

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The Only One
See me
As I want you to

As a lover
Not only a friend

I wish you'd feel for me
Like I do for you

You are
The God of my heart

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Love
An angel
Touched me
Loved me
Broke my hymen

Held me tight in his arms
And took me to heaven

Two days,
And four times
You loved me

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Falling Out Of Love
Over you
I think I am

Yes,
I hope

It could never be us
Anyways

We're too far apart
And you love another

But as long as we're friends
I'll be Ok

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Sleep-Deprivation
Due to
Fear of fear
I refuse myself to sleep

I love feeling this
Light-headed
Nearly high

I need to keep my mind a blur
I need to refuse to realize
How disgusting the world is

The arrogance of humans,
The lowest form of life,
Disgusts me

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Me And My Best Friend
I found my friend sleeping
He had bled to death
I cried over you
"It's such a waste
You were too wonderful to die"

My tears washed off
Every single drop of blood from your body

Then I took the knife from your hand
And turned it to MY wrists

Gently breaking through the skin at first,
Then, with every movement of the knife faster than the previous
The wound gaped wider with every slash

When blood was pumping from my wrist
I let the knife treat
My right wrist the same as my left
(With some trouble, being right-handed)

When both my wrists were slashed
I rested my head on your chest
And watched my life run out

I started o feel faint
Then I closed my eyes
And died in your cold, stiff arms

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The Final Solution
Suicide -
The final solution

By many considered the act
Of a desperate woman

They say they'll miss me,
But is it really fair to
Force a person to stay in pain?

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A Demon Named Love
In the deepest level of hell
In the darkest pit of my soul
A demon named love is born
He'll possess my mind
Corrupt my vision
Make me adore a human being
After I've claimed to hate them all

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The Final Destination
"I see we're heading for the same place,
Shall we go together"
I reach my hand out to you
You smile at me,
And take the pills in my hand

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All Alone
Nothing is as depressive
As seeing other people happy

My best friend is in love
She loves him back
They seem so happy together
So cute and in love

And I have no one

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True Love
I had never known true love
Until I cut my arms

The knife is my lover
Pain is my orgasm
The blood running down my arms
Is our love-child

I divorce my life
For you

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Madness
Madness appears
It will change you

Love
Turns to hate
And rage
To those who are you close

KILL

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Anorexia Nervosa
If you're lonely as me
You'll think it's your fault,
That people would like you
If you were different
You have to change to make friends

So you starve
And vomit up your self-esteem

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Alone
Love is for the living
And not for me

I travel my path alone

Sure,
Sometimes people cross it
People I call friends

But no one is to hold my hand
And walk with me
Towards the bitter end

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Point Of View
Dreaming as a poet
I see things others don't
In a different light

I see beauty
Even in the most vicious destruction
I see it in a different light

Pain and misery
Is all part of who I am
I just see it in a different light

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The Enemy Within Your Mind
She's the one
Who tells you how to feel

She's the judge
Who's opinion
You trust blindly

Everything she says
Is the truth
That's just the way it is

You're a slave
Under her word

She is
The enemy within your mind

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Dream-Girl
Someone in my dreams loves me
She kisses me every night

She's so beautiful
Her shine burns my eyes
And a mortal like me
Isn't worthy to gaze upon her

But still she loves me
She's mine
The girl of my dreams

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Death
I died that day
The first time I slit my wrists
I didn't loose much blood
But still I died

Sure,
My body still
Walks and works

But the soul is dead
Gone

Three years as an empty shell

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Charmed
In the shadow of me
Lies the fragments of
Five failed suicides and
Three heartbreaks

Five times three
Makes the charmed number fifteen
Plus uncountable scars
Emotional and physical

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Habitual Living
Though my heart has left my body
Ripped out by the cold hands of Him
It keeps beating
Habitually pounding
It spews out what little blood is left inside
Dripping all over me
As He stands over me

I'm dying

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