Forking Crazy
Alright kiddies, here's a new game that all the hipsters play. Ok, actually it is the new game we dubbed for the cult. Three of the main leaders invented it, tested it, and approved it. Now I want you all try it and become good at it. You never know, we may even hold tournaments. First locally, then statewide, then nationally, and who knows, maybe it will be a new olympic sport!!!
To start off, the main ingredient for this awesome game is a FORK! Yes, your regular, ordinary table fork. Varieties of the fork can be used, for example, salad fork, cocktail fork, and so on. It is against the cult to use a spork. The spork is what you are striving not to be, because that is VERY VERY bad!!! It is however, recommended that you use a metal fork because they one, bend easier and two, won't break when you play!
The rules for this game are very simple. In fact they are so simple, there aren't any. The object is to try to fork the closest or furthest player. Forking more than one player in one hit is bonus points. It also means you are a very good forker.
Another game to play is for when you are indoors or in a area with a ceiling over your head. The object is to try to get the fork high enough to hit the ceiling. Bonus points for sticking it in the ceiling.
Yet another variation you can play is for distance. See how far you can get your fork to go. Also fun is to put out random targets with point values on them and trying to hit those. It's more challenging than you think.
Any other styles of playing you find could be fun too. Let us know if you have any ideas and we will test them out!
Now that you know the games, I am betting you are wondering, "How the hell do I get the forks to do these tasks?" Well, I say, you take your fork and bend the tines upwards, for better air. It is recommended you leave the stem straight. Lay your fork on the ground, tines up, and give it a stomp. Not just any old stomp, but a good solid stomp on the tines. You will notice how the fork flies through the air with such ease.
With practice, you can aim and figure out the basic mechanics of a fork, to make it fly well. You may even become a forking pro. However, watch out for the fly fork, because you could get forked and that doesn't feel to forking good. Unless you are playing full contact forking, then it is fine. Protective gear may be a good idea for that game.
Now scurry on and try it out. You will soon find the maddening enjoyment of this game as we did too!!!
Forking Crazy