THE LISTS
PARKING RAMP
(Most of these are actual conversations...as close to verbatim as my memory allows. To protect the ignorant, names have been completely deleted. FYI: "Guy"s are different people in each scenario, respectively. i.e. "Guy1" in the first conversation is a completely different person than "Guy1" in the second conversation.)
Guy1: "Sorry, they were under all the $100s so I couldn't find them."
Guy1: "Yeah, you do have pepperoni nips."
Guy1: "You do realize we're not living on an island."
Guy1: "2 bucks."
Me: "$6.45."
Guy1: "Ouch - you used to be my friend, but not anymore I guess."
Me: "Do you have a white ticket from when you came in?"
Guy1: "Yeah, sorry - I'm on acid."
Guy1: "Dude, are you an Olsen twin?"
Guy 1: "You've got a nice set of DSL...you know what that means? Dick Sucking Lips! Holy Shit! You got the DST too!"
Guy1: "Hey, how you doing? How's that lip treating you? It looks alright on you - that's my girl."
Guy1: "I have to urinate."
Girl1: "Don't you hate working this shift?"
Me: "No, I hate people like you."
Guy1: "Now you have that on your consience - all those dead gummy bears."
Guy1: "I gotta tell you, I am so fucked up right now."
Guy1: "People in parking booths suck dick for life."
Guy2: "Hey, you're sexy - give us a discount."
Guy1: "Who farted in here?!"
Guy2: "It wasn't me!"
Guy3: "Ashley!"
Guy1: "Thank you ma'am. You're a great American."
Guy1: "Chocolate milk?"
Me: "Yeah, it keeps cold outside."
Guy1: "Hey! Good call!"
Guy1: "This is broken? It says 'MMMM...' Now it says 'OOOO...' Now it says 'MMMM...' again. I don't know - whatever's wrong with it it sounds like it's having fun."
Guy1: "Pull a dollar out you little bitch."
Guy1: "My dick is a love handle. It's all I got."
Guy1: "Dude, that's some undercover shit right there."
Guy1: "'60 cents?' That's what they all say."
Guy1: "Hey trailer trash. Why don't you go hang out with somebody from Cananda? No matter what part of Michigan you're from you've always been with somebody from Canada."
Guy1: "I had sex with his mom so many times, my dick almost fell off."
Guy1: "This guy right here - he just had anal sex in the bathroom at Pancheros."
Guy2: "It was my first time doing it."
Guy1: "He was on the receiving end of that one. It was big and black and brutal."
Guy1: "Doesn't that hurt to eat? No? You don't have a metallic taste in your mouth?"
Justin: "Is that your boyfriend that's always hanging out with you?"
Me: "Technically."
Justin: "So...you've got others who are technically not your boyfriend?"
Me: "Exactly."
Justin: "Well, that's a pretty fail-proof plan, isn't it?"
Me: "Hasn't failed me yet."
Guy1: "I just stabbed myself in the hand with a toothpick. It sucks."
Guy1: "Does that hurt? I bet it's good for giving BJs, right? Did you give your man a BJ last night?"
Guy1: "The clinic turned me away. I was only in there for about 13 seconds. They said my protein was too low. Too bad for me, baby."
Girl1: "1 down, 13,000 to go!"
Me: "Are you talking about those girls?"
Girl1: "You mean the blonde twigs? Yeah. One less of them in teh world, I'm doing everybody a favor. Seriously, fuck them."
Guy1: "Can anybody park in here or do you need to be a city employee or something?"
Guy1: "It's warming up a little bit, hey? Not exactly swimming suit weather, yet but then I don't really look that good in a swimsuit anyway."
Guy1: "What is this?"
Guy2: "It's a dollar."
Guy1: "I'm going to kill you guys."
Guy1: "Can you let us out for $1.75?"
Guy1: "Thanks, you're a sweetheart."
Guy1: "Hey, thank you, you're the greatest."
Guy1: "I wish we could have sex sometime."
Me: "Most definitely. Get back to me on that."
Guy1: "You're hot."
Guy1: "You're such a Spartan! Yeah, I love it! Spartan spirit yeah!"
Guy1: "Here. Tell her what you said."
Guy2: "I told him he's gonna have to eat some box tonight to get right."
Me: "You always do."
Guy1: "Hey...how you doin'?"
Guy1: "Be careful reading that book, it'll give you nightmares."
Girl1: "No! Don't get out of your booth! You don't know what people are going to do. They're banking on that."
Guy1: "What do we gotta do to get it free?"
Me: "What are you willing to do to get it free?"
Guy1: "Anything." *looks at Girl1* "Well, you suck cock but I dont' think that's going to be of any use to her."
Guy1: "$4.20? That's a good number. I think you made it up, but I like it."
Guy1: "Listen! Get your shit out! Get your shit together. Otherwise the parking lady's gonna know we're drunk. We're screwed."
Guy1: "Are we good? Real good? Yeah..."
Guy1: "Wait, you want my ticket. Oh, it's a game now."
Guy1 (to Renee and Rachel): "Have fun dyking it out."
Renee: "Have fun fucking yourself!"
Guy1: "I love you. Always. Deeply."
Guy1: "Sweet! Tattoos and earrings. Wow! Throwback pants! Lift a leg up so he can see those."
Guy1: "Something stinks."
Guy2: "I farted."
Girl1: "God, it reeks!"
Guy2: "I farted!"
Guy1: "What's wrong with you?"
Guy2: "It's a beer fart."
(Proof that this doesn't just happen to me...)
Guy1: "You better settle down in there."
Kristin: "What?"
Guy1: "You're doing cartwheels and stuff. I see you in there. I'm going to call your supervisor and tell him you're being too obnoxious in the booth."
Guy1: "Hey, we'll just look the other way if you just want to put that in your pocket. We understand. We want you to make a little extra tonight."
Guy1 (on cell phone): "Dude, she's so naked right now. She's like going down on him I don't know. She's moaning and stuff."
Guy1: "What time you here 'till? 2?"
Me: "Usually around three."
Guy1: "3?! That's so anal."
Guy2: "Anal. That's my favorite word! How did you know know that?"
Guy1: "Somebody stop me, I'm drunk. Don't tell anybody with a badge that. I'm a good looking guy, they won't pull me over."
Guy1: "I don't gotta pay because I got a ticket."
Me: "No, actually you have to pay that now or in the mail within a week plus pay for today."
Guy1: "Really?"
Me: "Yeah."
Guy1: "I shoulda just driven drunk."
Guy1: "I stayed here overnight, you've got to write me a ticket 'cuase I forgot my wallet. I figured you'd need something to do anyway - you look a little bored."
Guy1: "Everybody give her one dollar. C'mon. Don't be ass-monkeys."
Guy1: "I need a receipt too, please."
Me: "No problem. It's $8.50."
Guy1: "Yes, ma'am."
Me: *laughs*
Guy1: "You're not used to getting that, are you? Miss?"
Me: "No, usually it's 'sir' because of the hair cut."
Guy1: "You're no sir! I can tell that from miles away."
Guy1: *indicates lip ring* "Did that hurt?"
Me: "No, not at all."
Guy1: "Do you ever get it caught on stuff?"
Me: "Very rarely."
Guy1: "Okay, please be careful."
Guy1: "Hey, how old are you?: I'm sorry - you must get that a lot but I just had to ask."
Girl1: "You must be my brother then."
Guy1: "Come over here!"
Girl1: "Go get the car!"
Guy1: "I have to do something!"
Guy1: "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"
Guy1: "It's an STD fest out here!"
Girl1: "You make good money doing this?"
Me: "A little more than minimum wage."
Girl1: "Until what time?"
Me: "Usually until about 3:00 am."
Girl1: "You could be shot at!"
Me: "That's what my mom says."
Girl1: "Well, at least you get a chance to talk to nice people like me."
Guy1: "M.A.C.?"
Me: "That way." *points* "Two blocks"
Guy1: "You're awesome. I love you."
Guy1: "You're my hero. I love you. Thanks."
Guy1: "Are you driving tonight?"
Guy2: "Fuck no. I'm gonna get fucked up."
Girl1: "Sheryl, you're being retarded."
Guy1: "I'll give you 21 if you give me 15. Save your ones and save me from looking like I'm going to a titty bar with a whole bunch of ones."
Guy1: "You got tats? I like tats. Jenn's gettin' a little freaky on the weekends!"
Guy1: "Hold on. I think we have three dollars. Can you take quarters?"
Me: "Yes."
Guy1: "Twelve of them?"
Me: "Yes, I can take anything. Give me three hundred pennies if you want."
Guy1: "Anything? How about dancing? No?"
Me: "Sorry, tempting."
Guy1: "What are they looking at?"
B-side: "An eclipse."
Guy1: "Whoa! Look at that shit!"
(The best one to date, I think.)
12-ish boy in the backseat (riding with what I would assume are his parents) holding a porn up to the window: "Do you like hooters?!!!"
Guy1: "I'm four foot tall and want some dick in my ass! What am I supposed to do?!
Guy2: "You know you love it honey."
Guy1: "I fucked her rotten like three or four times. And then I got up and left."
Guy1 (going into the bathroom): "There's no lightswitch in here! Dude! Get in here!"
Guy2 (standing outside, trying to light a cigarette): "Give me your lighter!"
Guy1: "Get in here!"
Guy2: "Dude, we're not girls. Give me your lighter."
Guy1: "You've been here since six? That sucks. Come party with us. We're going to do a lot of coke."
Girl1: "Are they throwing bottles at each other over there?"
Me: *shakes head* "Yes."
(Just as further proof that Tom DeLonge is the hottest man alive)
Me: "Wow! Do you like Boxcar Racer?"
Girl1: "Who?"
Me: "Boxcar Racer, that's who this song is by."
Girl1: "I didn't even know who it was. I'm one of those people that hears a song on the radio and knows all the words but has no idea who the fuck sings it."
Me: "Well, do you know who Blink 182 is?"
Girl1: "Yeah! That's who I thought it was at first!"
Me: "It's actually got members from Blink 182 in it."
Girl1: "Mark?"
Me: "No, Tom."
Girl1: "Oh, you mean the one that's hotter than fuck?
Girl1: "Awww...that poor guy has to work? Guy? Girl? What are you?!"
Guy1: "Who was...Bartlesby?"
Guy2: "Dude...Bartleby the Scrivener. 'I would prefer not to.'"
Me: *shows him the back of my shirt*
Guy2: "Hell yeah, I love that story. Where'd you get that shirt?"
Me: "Actually, it's from my highschool."
Guy2: "Where'd you go?"
Me: "Ishpeming. Double points if you know where that is..."
Guy2: "Is it in the UP?"
Me: "Dude, you rock."
Me: "Eight dollars."
Guy1: "Wow, realy?"
Guy1: "Take off your headphones, you're on the job."
Guy1: "$9.50? We live in America! You'd think we live in some kind of place!"
Girl1: "Can I work here?"
Me: "Yeah, you want to start right now? C'mon in the booth, I can go home."
Girl1: "Girl! I'ma gonna hook you up! I'll work for you so you don't have to work late nights!"
Girl1: "Hey, when do you guys close?"
Me: "Around two, usually."
Girl1: "So I don't have to pay after that?"
Me: No, we put on of these *indicates pay later* on your car, and then you pay by mail."
Girl1: "So, you don't charge after two?"
Me: "No, we charge up to two. After that we don't charge..."
Girl1: "So I don't have to pay?"
Me: "You pay by mail. Or you can drop it in the box right behind the booth, if you want. We charge you from the time you came in until two."
Girl1: "Wait, what?"
Guy1 (after pulling up past the ticket machine to my window): "Excuse me, do I have to pay?"
Me: "What?"
Guy1: "Do I have to pay to park here?"
Me: "Anything over five minutes we're going to charge you for."
Guy1: "I just want to run across the street for some pizza."
Me: "Yeah, but anything over five minutes, we charge you for."
Guy1: "I can make it five minutes so you don't have to charge me. Can I go in?"
Me: "You have to get a ticket out of the machine behind you." (by this time three or four people have pulled up in behind Guy1)
Guy1: "What?"
Guy1: "What's your name?"
Me: "Why?"
Guy1: "So I can scream it later when you're licking my balls."
Guy1: "I see you're not wearing your name tag this evening."
Me: "We don't have nametags."
Guy1: "Why not? How am I supposed to guess your name if you're not wearing a name tag?"
Me: *silence*
Guy1: Well, are you going to tell me or are you going to make me guess?"
Me: "Guess."
Guy1: "You look like a Shannon."
Me: "Close enough."
Me (upon noticing a 311 sticker in the back window of a guy's car): "Do you like 311?"
Guy1: "No, I just like their sticker. Why? Do you like 311?"
Me: No, I only like their sticker."
Guy1: "Oh, she is good!!"
Guy2: "SO GOOD!"
Guy1: "So, what you doing later?"
Guy2: "Don't listen to him--seriously."
Guy1: "No, seriously...12 inch cock. All...night...long."
Me: "Four dollars."
Guy1: *stares*
Guy2: *hands Guy1 $4* Here. Give her the money you fuckin' stoned idiot."
Guy1: "Wow! That is one super-exotic piercing you've got there!"
Guy1: *indicating ring* "That tickle? You ever been to the thug pole? Not the North Pole, the thug pole. It's tropical."
Guy2: "He wants your number. You got a number? No?"
Guy1: *showing me a DVD* "GIRLS GONE WILD YO!"
Guy2,3,4,and5: "Hells yeah!" *laughter*
Guy1: "You ever think about being on 'Girls Gone Wild?' You in college right?"
Guy2: "Fuck yeah! College white girls got the best pussy!"
Guy1: "Hey, wait. Somebody's digits are written on this bill.
Guy2: "Yeah, those are mine. Give that one to her." *wink*
Guy1: "Here, somebody's phone number is written on this. Maybe you should check it out."
Guy2: "By the way, that lip ring is really sexy."
Me: "You should see the one I have through my clit."
Guy2: "WHAT?!"
Guy1 laughs and speeds away.
Me: "Hi."
Guy1: "Hey, wassup?"
Me: "Nothing much. This ticket just got stuck so I'm trying to fix the printer so it's going to be a minute. Sorry."
Guy1: "We've only been here like half an hour."
Me: "Okay, but I really can't do anything until I fix this printer. It's just going to take a second I just have to tighten this..."
Guy1: "What is that? A half hour, I mean...ninety cents? A dollar?"
Me: "I really can't tell you because right now I can't really do anything until I fix this printer."
Guy1: "Can I just give you like ninety cents?"
Me: "No. Because there's a ticket stuck in this printer so I have to fix it before I can do anything else. Otherwise everything will go horribly wrong."
Guy1: "What?"
Me: "I have to fix this printer before I can tell you how much it's going to cost you to park."
Guy1: "Yeah, but we've only been here for like half an hour. That can't be more than ninety cents, right?"
Me: "I can't tell you! I have to fix this printer first!"
*I finally get the printer fixed...and run the guys ticket through*
Me: "That'll be $1.50."
Guy1: "Probably would have been less if you just would have let me give you that ninety cents."
Me: *screams silently*
VIDEO STORE
*Be kind, rewind. Please remember that I can find out where you live.*
1. When people never return their movies on time.
2. And they blame you when they have a late charge.
3. People returning movies not rewound, with an unidentifiable sticky substance smeared on it, or in any other state of distress.
4. People who want a credit for their movie because they left it in the car on a hot day and it melted.
5. People who return their movies to a different video store and want me to go pick the movies up.
6. When movies are in the case upside down. (Especially when they clearly have those little things on one side for the tape reels to be placed on.)
7. When it's busy and there's a long line of people but the person I'm waiting on has a fifty cent late fee and they're certainly not going to leave the store until I get rid of that horrible indiscretion.
8. Parents who think that a video store is also a day care.
9. Parents who think it's "cute" when their brat child knocks over a display case, takes movies and throws them on the floor, or takes a movie from one place and leaves it in another part of the store. (Of course, the parents are sometimes just as bad.)
10. Parents who allow their brat children to come into the store unsupervised so they can make obnoxious and crude noises in the back of the store as if I were deaf and couldn't hear them.
11. Parents who let their kid have a tantrum in the middle of the aisle and refuse to take their kid out the the car until they have picked out a movie.
12. People who yell at me for enforcing rules I didn't make up and if I had a choice would probably ignore.
13. Those who pretend that I am somehow their "friend" and that they can rattle my ear off with stories about their children, pets, and garden plants. (I especially love the ones who like to talk about their toe fungus or lung problems.)
14. Chauvinistic prigs who think they can do whatever they want just because they're male and that I shouldn't even be holding down a job on the basis that I'm a female.
15. When somebody comes in at 2 minutes to closing and proceeds to meander about the shelves for a half hour before deciding they really don't want a movie after all.
16. The aforementioned person--only they have dirt all over their shoes and track it all over the store so I have to vacuum again.
17. People who come in right when I open and want to use a hundred dollar bill to pay for a candy bar.
18. People who act as if I were their personal slave. (They stand at the counter and tell me to go get movies off the shelves for them.)
19. The kids who leave gum, suckers, crunched up crackers, or anything else on the carpet.
20. (Actual story: Somebody rented an N64 game and then brought it back and demanded a credit because....and I quote..."it wouldn't fit in their Game Boy.")
21. When somebody calls up to ask if we have porn, I tell them we don't, and they call back the next day to see if maybe we've miraculously restocked the entire store with adult entertainment.
22. When our wonderful 80's special printer eats the paper, runs out of ink, or disfunctions in any other way when it's busy. (It seems to have a detrimental intuition as to when it would be most vexing to malfunction.)
23. Having to explain to people that yes, if you do bring back your movies 3 minutes late, the computer is going to give you a late charge and I can't haggle with it and get it to somehow delete the charge.
24. If people want a credit because their hyperactive dog/cat/gerbil went pyscho and ate the tape to shreds.
25. When people's VCR's eat the tape and they demand we pay for a new VCR because "it's never done that before."
26. People who bitch at me when I call them to tell them they have late movies. (Hey, if I don't do that I lose my job and it's not my damn fault if you can't remember to return your movies on time.)
27. Stupid people who take movies (especially new releases), never return them, and are dumbfounded when we send the cops after their sorry asses to get the movies back.
28. Those who, in order to get a movie, need to: turn the box upside down, turn it sideways, or put it somewhere else completely.
29. Parents who let their kids climb all over the shelves as if they were monkey bars.
30. People who want to know when a movie is coming out, I tell them it won't be out until next month, and then they ask if maybe I could convince the distributor to ship it early because they REALLY want to see it.
31. People who NEVER rewind their movies. And I mean NEVER. No matter how many times they rent them, it is just beyond their grasp to figure out how to rewind the stupid things.
32. People who want me to call all the people that have rented out a new release because all the movies are gone and they want one and maybe somebody who got one earlier in the day has already watched it and won't mind bringing it back.
33. People who expect that just because I work at a movie store that I immediatly will be able to tell them the specifics of every movie ever made. (It's just a part-time job, people, not a future way of life.)
34. When I get off work after the closing shift and my hands smell like money and windex.
35. Somebody who's so desperate to get a movie that they have to pound on the window for five minutes or let the phone ring for ten minutes when I'm closed and vacuuming.
36. I know I said this one already, but this one was too good to be true, because it actually happened. A lady came in right at eight, when I was supposed to close. She asked if it was too late to run in quick and get a movie. I said no and that would she mind if I locked the door after her, though, so that nobody else could come in the store. She agreed and proceeded to make small talk and walk about the shelves for an ENTIRE HOUR. Then, she decided that she "didn't see anything she really wanted" and tried to leave. The door was still locked and she wanted to know why I needed the door locked when she was just "running in and out".
37. Trying to vacuum up those unidentifiable spots in the carpet.
38. Couples who come in and have to hold hands throughout the entire movie selection process. (Of course, it's interesting to watch one of them try to get their wallet out of their back pocket and pay one-handed.)
39. The aforementioned couple; only they have to take 5-minute make-out breaks while picking out a movie.
40. Somebody who believes that the video store is actually a giant, soulless ant colony so that every employee should immediately know what went on every day, even if they weren't working.
41. When it is incredibly busy and I have two people--one wanting to rent a movie and one wanting to pay a late fee--and both of them must have double vision because they expect me to be able to wait on both of them at the same time.
42. How a movie can somehow pick up the scent of the person who has last rented it, especially if said person has an extremelly *unique* odor. (It's the same thing with library books.)
43. Trying not to gag as the same *uniquely* smelling person leans over the counter and speaks really quietly so I have to get close to them to understand what they're saying.
44. When it's raining/snowing/hailing and every single person who comes through the door has to tell me about it as if there weren't two very large picture windows I can view the weather out of.
45. People who mumble or speak quietly.
46. People who insist on telling disgustingly unfunny jokes to me and to others in the store.
47. Getting a paper cut from the receipt paper.
48. Slamming my fingers in the cash register. (Okay, so I'm a klutz...but it's only happened once.)
49. Getting change with gum stuck to it.
50. 10-year old kids trying to act tough and rent "Faces Of Death".
51. That even if the sign says "closed" people assume that if I'm in the store doing ANYTHING (i.e. counting the till, cleaning counters, vacuuming) that they should be able to come in and rent a movie.
52. When somebody tells me to "guess" their last name if I don't know it because they're a regular customer and I certainly have nothing better to do with my spare time than memorize last names.
53. When somebody brings back a movie after I'm closed but I'm still in the store so they drop it in the drop box and then get pissed the next day and they have a late fee. (Just for clarification...once that sign says "closed", I no longer have to care about returning you stupid movies and you're going to have a late fee anyway since you returned it after we closed so it doesn't make a difference if I return it when you drop it off or if I return it the next morning. Got that?)
54. True Story: A woman rented Animal Farm for her 4-year old son. I had seen the movie and told her it probably wasn't a good idea to let the kid watch it. She told me basically that her kid would watch whatever he damn well pleased and that I could just mind my own business. Then, an hour later, the same woman brings the movie back and demands a refund because the movie wasn't what she expected it to be and her stupid kid got scared. (Icing on the cake: I asked her if she had ever read the book and she said, "What? This was a BOOK?")
55. People who have HUGE late fees and think they can get away with not paying it because they have gift certificates.
56. When I'm reading a book (My job isn't exactly rocket science, and I'm a self-declared book addict), and somebody comes in and says, "Why are you reading a book when you have all these movies to watch?"
57. Having to suffer through explaining to yet another person that no, I haven't watched every movie in the store and no, I can not give you a concise summary of every movie.
58. When three or more people all decide to bombard me with questions at the same time.
59. After having watched the same movies over and over and over again at work I start being able to recite lines word for word.
60. *Actual story* Mr. "Hello, I'm the definition of white trash with my pants hanging halfway off my scrawny ass so that you can see my skid-marked Fruit of the Looms and 3/4 of my ass crack" comes in with his "significant other" (also a wonder in herself as to how she got past selective breeding officials), and as they're cruising the aisles together he reaches over and PINCHES HER BUTT CHEEK.
61. Having to referee mother/daugher, parents/children, grandparents/grandchildren, etc. disputes as to which of two movies is the better one.
62. People thinking I must have a very low IQ level to be working in a video store so they find it funny to make fun of the books I'm reading. ("So, how many pictures are in that thing? Are you sure you can handle it?")
63. The above numb-skulls who speak very loudly and slowly whenever they talk to me as if I was from a foreign country or completely deaf and senile.
64. Parents who send their toddlers in to return movies. (These are usually late people.)
65. Kids who stand outside trying to pull the door open for five minutes trying to return movies their parents are too lazy to get out of the car to return until the parent finally has to get off their lazy butt and come and open the door for the kid. (Parents are usually very indignant about this.)
66. People who rent games or movies and then bring them back and want a refund because they watched the whole thing and it "wasn't what they expected" or "they didn't really like it."
67. How, when our monthly special involves movies, people seem confounded by it and have problems differentiating between which movies are involved in the special and which aren't. ("Hey, if this special involves $2.50 movies, why isn't the sign over by the $2.50 movies?" Well, in the first place, there isn't anyplace to fit that beast of a sign over on the other side of the store. Furthermore, if we did put it over there, you would never see it. Oh, yeah, and the $2.50 movies just happen to have very nice little pink stickers with "$2.50" printed on them, if you would take the time to look instead of bothering me about it.)
68. People who come to the store early and stand outside PULLING on the door when it's locked.
69. Having a week off and then coming back to work and not knowing where any movies are because they have all been moved around.
70. People who condescendingly/apologetically pay with a fifty dollar bill as if I was (just because I work for minimum wage) some sort of pauper who had never seen such an amount of money before.
71. Anyone who tells me they don't have enough money to pay their $1.50 late fee and then slaps down a fifty to pay for a three dollar movie.
72. How the printer, which was probably new when Christ was born, can no longer even print one friggin' line without screwing something up.
73. None of our movies are in alphabetical order or in any other way organized.
74. How the owner puts sad movies in the comedy section, horror movies in the kids section, and in many other strange and confusing ways "organizes" her movies.
75. When people expound to me how Blockbuster, Family Video, (i.e. the competition) organizes their movies, rents movies out for 5 days, or is in any other way better than the store I work in. Please just go rent your movies from them instead of staying here bothering me, then.
76. Most of the time it would be faster to hand write receipts instead of waiting for the S.O.B. printer.
77. The fact that many movies as much as a year old are still considered new releases in our store.
78. When people just can't comprehend the fact that, yes, even if they were on the reserve list for a certain movie it may not come back and no, I will not call the people who have it out to see if they will bring it back.
79. When the manager puts posters up for "Coming Soon" movies only she puts up "Now Playing" so people can come in and pester me about why said movie isn't in stock yet.
80. When there are fifty people waiting in line and the phone rings.
81. The printer actually broke down for two days, and yes, it was faster to write receipts out by hand.
82. When it's snowing outside and busy inside and somebody will come in and berate me about how much snow is piling up on the sidewalk.
83. How, when the monthly specials roll around, the manager will come up with ingenious ones like "rent a $2.50 movie, get a $2.50 movie free" just so that I can explain to people that no, they can not rent a $2.50 movie and get a $1.00 movie free.
84. People who call up two minutes to closing and want to reserve a movie and come pick it up.
85. And then they act deaf when I bluntly tell them that in two minutes I'm locking the door whether or not they have their damn movie.
86. Stupid truck drivers who think they're hot-shit driving 60 miles per hour through the parking lot in winter time and almost making me a new take-out window when they come skidding up to the store. (Actually saw somebody do a 360 once. Wow, got to say I was totally turned on by their vagrant disregard for life and intelligence.)