Chapter 41 – Behind Closed Doors
The front door swung behind
them. They looked at each other then cautiously peered out the window until
Spike swallowed, trying to decide what to do. Should he suggest sex? She had implied she wanted it as much as he did. Should he suggest a nap? He hated to admit it but it actually sounded kind of good in a way. It had been a long ride. Or should he just try and act natural? Suggest lunch? He fidgeted and looked over at Buffy. She looked as confused as he did.
“What do you want to do, pet?”
He wanted to slap his forehead for sounding like a total ponce. He was the man. Shouldn’t he have control of the situation? His eyes fluttered closed as he waited for her to answer.
“Yeah, honestly,” Spike said, gearing up for the fact that she would probably suggest something fun like going shopping or something.
“Racing you to the couch,” Buffy said, with a big grin. She gave him a second to absorb what she said before she took off down the hall.
Spike was right behind her. Laughing, they skidded around the corner into the living room. He grabbed Buffy around the waist, pulling her down onto the couch with him.
“Ooomph,” Buffy muttered as he landed on her.
She wiggled around until she was facing him. Her hands were already reaching for his belt. He reached for the fastenings on her jeans. He missed.
“God damn it,” Spike said, trying to get his fingers to do what he wanted.
“Don’t worry about it,” Buffy said, giggling. “We’re into teamwork now. Kiss me. I’ll get us undressed.”
“That’s not the…”
“Get me…wet…and ready for you,” Buffy said coquettishly as she looked up at him through her lashes.
“Oh, baby,” Spike said, as fierce desire coursed through him at her words. He lowered his head to nibble along her neck, kiss the corner of her mouth, then to dart his tongue inside her mouth. He followed the directions her hands were giving. He raised his hips so she could lower his zipper. Her tiny hand stroked his already hard length before she pushed his jeans down over his hips. “Hurry…I want you now,” he muttered against her ear while rubbing himself against her hip.
“Me too, me too,” Buffy said, as she turned her attention to her own pants. One shoe got kicked off and one leg was kicked free. It was enough.
Spike moved, looking down into her eyes as he settled between her legs. Home. He was almost home. She was there before he had to ask…leading him to her entrance.
“Stop, oh geesh stop,” Buffy said, pushing him away before he could thrust inside her.
“I haven’t been taking my pills,” Buffy said. “We have to use a condom.”
“In the bathroom,” Spike said, gritting his teeth. His body screamed it’s frustration at him. They had been so close to fulfilling weeks of accumulated needs and fantasies.
“Move now,” Buffy said, pushing at him. “I can’t get it unless you get off me.”
Spike rolled off of her. Grinning, he realized she was in as much of a frenzy as he was. The knowledge stoked his manly pride. It was for him. There wasn’t anyone else that had been able to fulfill this woman’s desires enough for her to give all of herself to.
“Oh, oh, no, no,” Buffy said, as she pitched face forward onto the floor, tripped by the jeans that were still half on her.
“You all right?” Spike asked shaking his head to clear his thoughts.
She flipped over and desperately tried to untangle her pants from around her legs.
“Don’t laugh,” Buffy warned but started giggling herself as her shoe was thrown across the room. He laughed with her as she got her pants off but left her sock on. She ran from the room still wearing her shirt and the one sock. The sight of her bare bottom disappearing from the room sent him after her. He couldn’t wait. Besides the bedroom was back there. He was almost there when she came careening out of their room, not noticing him at first.
“Ahhhhh,” Buffy screeched, holding her hands to her chest. “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Couldn’t wait,” Spike said, reaching for her but it threw him off balance. On his way down he grabbed Buffy, they hit the wall then the floor. “Bloody hell…”
“It’s okay,” Buffy said, shifting. “Right here is fine.” Her arms wound around his neck as she peppered his face with kisses. “I just need you.”
“The rug,” Spike muttered, trying to move them. She flashed him a questioning look. “Splinters or rug burn, pet?”
“Rug burn” Buffy said, with a grin. They wiggled over onto the hall runner. “You can’t get the splinters out and I am not asking anyone else to do it.”
“I’d have to kill them,” Spike said, nipping at her breast through the softness of her t-shirt. “Get it on…the rubber.”
“Oh, have mercy,” Buffy muttered, ripping the packet open. “The only thing I’ve put one of these things on was a banana in health class.”
“Don’t worry,” Buffy said, rolling it down his length. She patted his erection before pulling him between her legs. “You are much more impressive.”
“Knew there was a reason I loved you,” Spike said, sighing in relief as this time he slid into her. She made this little breathy noise and looked up at him. Their eyes caught as all the levity disappeared from the moment. They were together again. He started to move slowly within her, thanking whoever that at least he could still do this. Her hands slid over him but their eyes never broke contact. It was more than their bodies joining, their hearts and souls weaved a spell around them. Everything fell away as they gave in completely to the love between them.
The hushed tones of Buffy’s voice roused Spike from his sleep. His hand slid across the bed to try and find her but she wasn’t there. He looked around trying to get his bearings in the darkened bedroom. She wasn’t in the room so he assumed she was in the living room. Rolling off the bed he automatically looked for something to put on. Deciding it would be too much of a struggle he shrugged and headed off to the living room.
The closer he got the clearer her voice became.
“Yeah, tomorrow night would be good. If there’s a problem I’ll call you back tonight but otherwise I’ll call you in the morning to get the rest of the details.”
Buffy smiled at him when he walked in the room. She was wrapped in an afghan, tucked in the corner of the couch with her feet curled under her. He headed to lean against the doorway to stare out over the ocean while she finished.
“Mom, please, I don’t want to go through this again,” Buffy said, sighing. “I told you that I was going to talk to Spike about it.” She paused for a few moments. “It’s my life…yeah, I know what your dreams are but…it’s my life. Now I love you and I’ll let you know what I’m doing. Bye.”
Spike looked over his shoulder at her. She looked upset as she ran her fingers over the phone. She sighed again, watching him as he made his way toward her.
“What’s going on, Luv?” Spike asked as he sat beside her. She immediately discarded the phone and curled up next to him.
“My mom and Angel’s mom want to throw a party for you tomorrow night,” She looked up at him. “Nothing too big. It’ll just be the family.”
“Which is huge,” Spike said, laughing because he knew that family to them included all their friends. He kissed the top of her head. “That’s fine, just as long as it’s not tonight.”
“Nope, tonight is ours.”
He chuckled, both at her tone and her hand sliding along his stomach. “And the other? The one about it being your life.”
Buffy sat up. Her nervousness was back. This time she ran her fingers along his arm. “I called Arnie about getting back on the schedule..,”
“Did he fire you?”
“No, no,” Buffy said, shaking her head. “But he did make some decisions while I was gone. Umm, he wants to change some things at the bar, serve more food instead of just the basic appetizers. Clean it up and expand…that kind of stuff.”
“And this has what to do with you?”
“He offered me an assistant manager position,” Buffy said, looking up at him. “He was going to look for someone outside with experience but he said that a lot of people were asking about me while I was gone. They even filled a tip jar for me once they heard why I was gone. You know a little extra to help me out since I was out of work.” It wasn’t hard to tell that she was excited about being offered the job. Her eyes were dancing as she finished telling him about it. “Arnie said I’d be a natural for the job, that I know the bar and I know the customers. He said the same thing you did about me being able to work the floor, keeping everybody happy.”
“Your mom doesn’t approve?”
Her face fell and she shook her head. “No, she wants me to follow my original courses for law…Spike, I hate it. I’ve really tried to get back into school but I’m dying of boredom…and frustration.”
Buffy’s voice had gotten lower until her words were barely audible by the time she finished. He never would have hurt her by saying so but he had been surprised when he had found out that she was going to resume her pre-law classes next semester. She had told him once that she hadn’t gotten it before but had thought that maybe this time around she could. He just couldn’t see anyone as vibrant as she was being so confined by the court system.
“You’ve been having trouble in your classes?”
“Yeah, I think I’m failing,”
Buffy whispered. She turned and put her feet on the coffee table. “I’m not like
How the hell do I handle this?
“What do you want to do? Deep down in your gut?”
“Arnie’s offer is like a life line,” Buffy said, holding his hand. “I want to do it. Maybe take restaurant management courses while I help him out.”
“There’s no shame in doing what makes you happy,” Spike said.
“Tell that to my parents. I feel like I’ve always been a disappointment to them because I didn’t share their love of books and the arts. I mean I read but…”
“Maybe you have an aversion to reading because you feel like it’s expected of you.”
Buffy nodded. “Maybe and maybe that goes for college too. They both have Master’s degrees and little old me…the waitress.”
“Don’t baby, don’t,” Spike said, burying his nose in her hair. He kissed her neck. “You are perfect. You’re all grown up and you’re mine. Do what makes you happy. I love you, all of you.”
“So, you don’t mind if I take the job?”
“Nope, you can always change your mind again if you want,” Spike said. “I just want you happy.”
The sunbeam was back on her face as she straddled him. “I love you so much,” Buffy whispered. She kissed him quickly. “Maybe if you read to me in bed…I could learn to like it.”
“Hey, it’s your job to read to me,” Spike said, managing to get the afghan off of her. “You still have to finish The Hobbit.”
“We’ll take turns,” Buffy said, grinning. “But right now it’s my turn to be on top.”
“Whatever you want, pet…whatever you want…”
Buffy was practically humming as she brushed her teeth. The whole day had been almost magical, filled with a lot of making love and a lot of planning for their future. The ring was still on her finger and neither of them had brought it up. She wasn’t worried though. Spike was opening up more and more about his feelings and his hopes for them.
“I keep waking up and you’re gone,” Spike said, almost angrily.
“I…I’m sorry,” Buffy said, rinsing her mouth quickly. Please don’t let him start a fight…not now, not after we’ve had such a good day. She turned back to him but he was right behind her. “I had to go to the bathroom and decided to brush my teeth while I was here.”
“I missed you.”
“I’m right here,” Buffy said, hating that she felt flustered. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before wrapping her arms around him. “I love you.”
“You’d better,” Spike whispered fiercely before covering her mouth with his. The kiss was passionate and demanding. His tongue commandeered her mouth in an effort to conquer her body. Buffy felt the edge of the counter digging into her bottom but she was trapped between him and it. All she could do was hang on as he bent her back, his mouth slipping along her throat. He nipped at the tender spot where her shoulder met her neck. She knew he was leaving a hickey and a chill ran through her.
“Mine,” Spike said, licking where he had just bitten. His mouth moved down to claim her breast, sucking the nipple into his mouth while his hands dug into her hips. “Get a condom.” He pulled back to look down at her.
Buffy only nodded, fumbling when she opened the drawer to pull one out. He’d never been like this before. Every other time they had made love he’d been gentle, passionate, or playful but never had he been this aggressive. A part of her wanted to cry because it was confusing her. But another part wanted to see it through. To dip her toe into the darker side she knew he possessed and see if she could survive. If her love could survive the truth of whom he had been before.
Obediently she put the condom on him before looking to see what he wanted. His eyes were blazing with desire, making her body ready for him. What he did she wasn’t prepared for as he turned her around to face the mirror. She spread her legs apart, making it easier for him to enter her. Thankfully he did without any help. Her eyes remained glued to the shadow between her legs of him entering and leaving her.
“You’re mine,” Spike whispered. His hands were still on her hips, holding her where he needed her to be. “I don’t like waking up alone. Do you understand?”
Buffy nodded, glancing up to meet his eyes in the mirror. She noted the wide eyed look on her face as she struggled to keep herself from crashing into the counter. Her hands were planted on the edge and with each thrust she was pushed to her tip toes.
“Yes…,” Buffy said. “I love you, Spike.”
Suddenly she grinned and when he caught her, he smiled along with her. It only confirmed what she had just figured out.
“What are you…smiling about…at a time like this?” Spike managed to ask between thrusts that were building in force.
“You…how beautiful you are,” Buffy said. “Nothing matters but us.”
Spike only nodded as they became lost to the pull between them. He molded himself to her back as his orgasm overtook him. His arms were loving when she turned into his embrace. She realized the past didn’t matter. It was her that he loved. It was her that had helped to heal his broken soul. The darkness of their past was illuminated by the love they shared and she knew she had nothing to fear. She knew she could trust him with all of her.
To be continued…