It was so difficult to distinguish what he was feeling. Confusion drifted into euphoria and euphoria turned to ecstasy. Before giving up the measurement of satisfaction, he made a mental note to thank Buffy for this. A loud groaned ripped through the near silence of the bedroom and his Sire chuckled. It had to have been Angel that had licked him so leisurely behind his knee. A quick game of rock, paper, scissors that Buffy had rigged had left Spike the lucky recipient to be made love to first.

Lying between his mates, all he could feel was hands and mouths caressing and teasing him. He floated as they turned him this way and that, according to what they wanted. Buffy’s mouth closed over his cock, sucking and licking while Angel kneaded his bottom and nipped at his shoulder blades.

The awkward first few moments when they had stood around the bed had vanished as Angel poured champagne to toast their changes. Spike had lit the candles. The door had been closed and they were given the illusion of being isolated. Buffy had lounged back on the bed still clad in her teddy while he and Angel had stripped completely before joining her. They drank a glass of the crisp bubbly and Buffy giggled as it tickled her nose. Then it was time to get down to business and Buffy had suggested the game. Whoever won would receive the attention of the other two until an orgasm had been achieved. The remaining two would play the game to find out who would be next. They had all agreed that it seemed fair.

Spike had been pulled between them while they laughed and now he was floating on flesh and satin. They rolled him and covered him as they made love to him. The satin was at first cool against their skin but had heated as it was twisted between their bodies. It was intoxicating him with the love that flowed between them and around them. And he regretted any doubts he had about them.

“I want you,” Angel whispered, as he rolled his Childe to his side.

Buffy let him slide out of her mouth but only long enough to grab a pillow to rest her head on. His leg was positioned over her hip while Angel prepared him. Spike’s fingers drifted through Buffy’s hair enjoying the soft silkiness of the strands as they wound through his fingers. It was another sensation for his overloaded body to try to process. Buffy moved upwards, pressing her lips to his and he tasted the sweet strawberry flavor of her lip gloss as she sucked his tongue into her mouth. This has to be a dream, he thought because in all of his existence he had never felt so cherished.

Angel was molded against his back while Buffy slid downwards. She entwined her fingers with his while Angel prodded and eased into him. Spike sighed as he was filled with his Sire’s cock. Angelus had been wrong. He was loved. Angel settled them into a slow rhythm while Buffy returned her attention to his own cock, suckling him as he glided ever further into her mouth. Spike felt Angel’s hand entwine with his own that was still holding Buffy’s and the three of them moved as one creature.

“Oh my God,” Spike moaned, gripping their hands tighter as his world tilted. It was too soon but it had been so long and his orgasm shook him to his core. Buffy held him in her mouth until he was done. When he softened in the warmth of that mouth, she slid upwards to hold him as Angel finished. Her leg wrapped around them both and he kissed those lips that had loved him so thoroughly. Her hands floated over his chest while their tongues danced together.

“I love you,” she whispered shifting closer against him as Angel came inside of him. Her arm encompassed them both as he was pressed between them.

“I love you, too,” Spike murmured, burying his nose in her hair.

Angel held them against him as he shifted to his back, running his hand along their flesh as he came down. And for a few moments they stayed that way letting the shockwaves of their loving ripple through them and reassure them that everything was okay.

Settling Spike more comfortably against him, Angel let his fingers drift across his Childe’s arm. He could feel the contentment and satisfaction rolling off of Spike. The fear was gone and Angel was glad that he and Buffy could have given him that. He just wish his mates had just told him that Spike needed him more, needed to be loved and coddled, instead of Buffy suggesting the silly game to determine who was made love to first. Rising up a little he planted a kiss behind Spike’s ear and glanced over to see Buffy cuddled against his Childe’s chest.

Her arousal was still heavy in the air but she wasn’t her usual little pushy self in seducing Spike like she used to do. And he knew why. Him. She wasn’t ready to make love to him yet and she was afraid that if she reminded them that she still needed to be satisfied that Angel would insist on making love to her. It hurt. A lot. But he was trying to understand. He shifted his fingers to her arm and caressed it and her eyes flew open. She sat up and poured another glass of champagne. She had retreated making it plain once again that she didn’t want him. No, that wasn’t exactly right either. She wanted him but she was uncertain and afraid of hurting Spike. Nudging Spike, he forced his voice to remain calm.

“Spike, I think Buffy is a little neglected,” Angel whispered, letting his lips linger on Spike’s shoulder. “Don’t you think that you had better take care of her before she starts whining?”

Neither of them said anything. Buffy stared at him with the glass at her lips and Spike shifted to his back to look at him. He smiled and let his hand slide across Spike’s belly.

“Go on, take care of our girl.”

Nodding, Spike sat up and took the glass from her hand. There was a hint of embarrassment in her cheeks. She knew she had been read so easily. Why did she think that all of a sudden he didn’t know her better than anyone else? He had been watching and loving her for three years now. He watched as Spike kissed her, eased her back onto the bed and slipped the teddy from her compliant body before settling between her legs. Jealousy flooded his heart and he closed his eyes trying to push it aside. Her small hand tugged on his and he looked at her. She was so adorable in her heat, her eyes glazed over and the flush deepening on her cheeks as Spike peppered kissed down her body. He was so giving to her, so sensitive to her needs and wants, and Angel loved him more for the care he showed her. And her for the protection and nurturing she showed his Childe, a demon that only needed love to be tamed and she had done it with the strength and beauty that she was.

Encouraged by the tugging of her hand, he slid closer to her. Spike was nipping and kissing across the softness of her belly and Angel ran his hand over his shoulder before returning to cup her face.

“I love you; you know that, don’t you?”

Her eyes filled with tears and Angel nuzzled her shoulder, kissing her shoulder. “Don’t. Enjoy this. I understand.”

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes. Angel caressed her belly since Spike had moved on to tease her inner thighs, slowly driving her to a needy mass before giving her what she wanted. He smiled as her breath quickened and he wanted to be there with them.

“May I touch you?” Angel asked.

Her eyes flew open and studied him for a moment before taking his hand and placing it on her breast.

“Thank you,” Angel whispered, kneading the soft mound. It had probably been a ludicrous question because since this relationship had started, he had touched her and stroked her in time to Spike’s making love to her. He had asked because he didn’t want her to think he would push her or expected more from her than she was willing to give.

Buffy was beautiful as her body bowed under the passion Spike invoked from between her legs. She was light and all that was good and Angel was still awed that she loved someone as flawed as he. He bent his head, sucking her nipple into his mouth while his fingers enhanced the craving of her flesh. They moved along her curves, tickling and plying those spots that made her yearn for more. Contentment filled him as Buffy wrapped her fingers in his hair holding him to her tit. Her knees drew up to give Spike more freedom to love her and Angel wrapped his hand around her thigh, opening her wider.

The moment her orgasm began to flutter in the center of her, Angel knew it. Her body quivered and arched under its call. He released her, sliding up to run his fingers through her hair, watching as her lip was caught between her teeth. It climaxed and the tension eased from her body. Buffy collapsed into the bed.

Spike crawled along the other side of her and Angel pulled her to the middle of the bed to give Spike room to lie down. She let him do as he pleased and smiled up at him.

“Sated little kitten, aren’t you?” Angel teased, playing with her fingers.

Fingers lifted his chin and he looked up as Spike leaned toward him. With a grin Angel licked along those dew covered lips, dipping into to suck his Childe’s tongue dry. It was pure honey and so sweet. They kissed, lingering over Buffy as they stoked the fire between them again. For a moment they settled on either side of their girl as she practically purred in the adoration she had received from her mates.

Angel lifted her hand, kissing the back of fingers before taking them to claim Spike’s also.

“I want to say something. Something maybe I should have said before,” Angel said, stroking Buffy’s arm. “I don’t expect just because the soul is anchored that you make love to me. I want to be with you and please you but it’s your choice and even then if all of us,” he glanced up at Spike, “are not comfortable with it, it won’t happen. I love the both of you more than I thought possible and I just want to be with you. And I am grateful for what I am given in this relationship.”

It was humbling to say but he knew they both needed to hear it. He wouldn’t push either of them no matter how much it hurt him. Something nudged him to confess his own fears but he pushed them aside because they were both looking at him with so much happiness and love. Angel settled in next to them. He watched content, his two lovers smiling, as Buffy drifted off to sleep.

Buffy was nestled between her mates. She was warm and comfortable but her body was telling her she needed to get up and reluctantly she scooted out from between them and headed for the bathroom. By the time she had returned Spike and Angel had migrated toward each other and were sleeping cuddled together. Smiling, Buffy put on Angel’s discarded shirt and slipped from the room, closing the door behind her. It bothered her that they had fallen asleep or rather she had fallen asleep before Angel had received his turn to be loved. He had surprised her with his declaration of waiting. He should expect her to make love to him. She was making more of a deal about making love to the man she had been in love with for years than she had about giving her virginity to the vampire who had caused her so much heartache.

She sighed and opened the refrigerator. She grabbed a bottle of water and some yogurt before heading to the living room again. She turned the TV on as a distraction but her mind was still on the problem of her and her lovers. It scared her that maybe she had fallen more in love with Spike than Angel. This game they seemed to be playing of them versus Angel frightened her and it wasn’t fair to any of them. She was torn trying to make them both happy and it wasn’t right that she was more concerned about assuring Spike’s happiness than Angel’s.

Sitting the yogurt on the end table after realizing she was only playing with it, Buffy scooted down into the cushions and wrapped her arms around herself. Angel had been her boyfriend. The one that she had hung her moon and stars on, he was her hero. And though he still was, the shine was gone from their relationship. She knew him intimately and her feelings weren’t the same as they were in the beginning.

“Hey,” Angel said and she jumped from his sudden appearance. He had pulled his slacks on and hunkered down next to her. His hand pushed her hair from her face. “Are you okay?”

It was all it took before she launched herself at him and started to cry. She wrapped her arms tightly around him afraid he would disappear.

“Shhh, Buffy, what’s wrong?”

Gone was the irritation he had showed to her recently. Gone was the impatience that had affected the attitude he had displayed and she only hung on tighter. Angel picked her up and settled her in his lap in his chair. His hands stroked her back when she buried her face in his neck.

“I love you, Angel, I do,” Buffy whispered, through her tears. “I’m sorry that I can’t be everything that you want me to be.”

“I know you love me,” Angel said, kissing her forehead. “Where is this coming from?”

“I’ve just been so confused lately. Everything is changing and…and I’m scared.”

“So am I. Actually I’m terrified.”

His confession shocked her. She knew he had been worried about things, uncertain about their relationship but he was Angel. He always handled things. He was always strong. And he was terrified? Buffy pulled back to search his face. It was there and probably had been if she had taken the time to look.

“You too?”

“Yeah,” Angel said, giving a small smile, “me too.”

“What are you scared of?”

Angel hesitated, looking anywhere but at her. Sighing, his eyes landed back on her face and his fingers traced a path along her jaw.

“Of losing you, of losing Spike,” Angel whispered. “I’m scared that you’ll realize that you only want Spike and that he’ll feel the same. And that you’ll forget me when I’m in Los Angeles and that you don’t want to make love to me.”

He knew and that scared her too. If she loved him the way she should then he wouldn’t be feeling the lack of it. She had been so wrapped in her own insecurities she hadn’t been thinking of trying to take care of him. Well, her own insecurities and Spike’s. But Spike was so vocal in his confessions to her, in the middle of the night when it was just them, Spike would talk to her, tell her what he was feeling and she felt obligated, no she wanted to protect him. Except now Angel was telling her the same thing. It wasn’t fair. Someone in this trio needed to be the strong one. Maybe it was up to her. Maybe she needed to push aside her own fears and concentrate on the two of them. Buffy swore then and there that she would take care of her vampires and try not to complain as much as she had been.

“I do want you, Angel,” Buffy protested. “For almost three years I dreamed and fantasized about how you would be my first. Then you told me it was impossible,” her fingers danced along the planes of his face, “that we could never make love and you gave me Spike. And for months now he’s been the only one except for the foreplay and stuff. And all of a sudden it’s like here and we can make love and I’m petrified.”

“Are you scared of me? Because you shouldn’t be,” Angel said, his arm tightening around her while the other hand caressed her thigh in slow long strokes. “Or are you scared of hurting Spike? I know why you suggested we play the game.”

“You do?”

“Yeah,” Angel said, chuckling. “I’m not totally dense even though I’m not as emotionally outspoken as you two. I know that Spike has the same fears of you choosing me instead of him or me choosing you instead of him; whichever it works out the same. We are both afraid of losing each other and you.”

“Are you mad about it?” Buffy asked, her fingers playing with the few hairs on his chest.

“A little hurt but I understand. I don’t want either of you to feel left out.”

“I feel the same way,” Buffy whispered. “I’m so torn about things.”

“We wait then,” Angel said, “Until everyone is comfortable.” He hesitated for a moment. “I know that Angelus hurt you. Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s just that,” Buffy said, looking away from him. Her hand that had been caressing his chest dropped to her lap but she kept the one arm around his shoulder. “He kept saying we, like you or he wanted or were making plans for us having sex. Do you think I…well, that I’m…?”

Buffy studied his face as she asked. And she could see that what Angelus had was true. Angel did think she was acting too innocent. She tried to stand but Angel held her down.

“Buffy, I’m not going to lie to you. You don’t want me to do that, do you?”

“No,” Buffy answered, shaking her head. “I guess I don’t. You think I’m being a goody by saying no to anal sex?”

“Hey, is someone getting buggered besides me?” Spike asked, walking across the living room confident in his nudity. He sat on the couch throwing his feet up on the table and lit a cigarette. “Angel is giving a sex lecture to the child and no one woke me up. Now if you want a proper talk on shagging you have to ask me.”

“Funny, Spike, funny,” Angel commented. “Buffy was asking me if I held the same views as Angelus.”

“On buggering her? Well, go on talk; don’t let me interfere in this stimulating conversation.”

Buffy giggled. Spike’s presence and blunt words had eased the tension. He winked at her as he took a drag of his cigarette. She shifted on Angel’s lap twisting so she could see Spike so he could be included if he wanted to.

“Do you have to be crude? Buggering Buffy,” Angel said, then cracked a smile. “It sounds like a porn movie.”

After swatting him for his impropriety, Buffy waited for him to answer her question. Realizing that she was trying to be serious, Angel turned back to her.

“Buffy, I want you and yeah, I fantasize about making love to you.” Angel said, hesitated and covered her hand with his. “If I could I’d have sex with you in just about anyway you’d let me including that sweet rounded bottom of yours.”

“Do you like it?” Buffy asked, turning to Spike.

Spike ground out his cigarette and smiled at her.

“Look, I like it otherwise I wouldn’t let anyone near my ass. Okay, Angel’s been the only one who I’ve let do it and it started because he was my Sire and demanded it. But now,” Spike shrugged his shoulders.” Yeah I like it. It’s part of being in a relationship with Angel and I love him. I don’t know if I’d bend over for anyone else.”

“And you?” Buffy asked Angel.

“I did it to show Spike how much I love him. He was considerate of that fact and he made it feel good. I’d let him do it again.” Angel said, leaning his forehead against her. “And if you agree than you could have both of us at the same time.”

“One Buffy sandwich,” Spike joked.

Buffy and Angel broke out laughing. She kicked Spike’s foot still resting on the table and he grinned at her.

“Higher,” Spike said, using his hand to show her that he wanted her to lift her leg higher. As soon as she did, he cocked his head looking up the shirt she was wearing. “Yeah, here sweet kitty, show it to Daddy.”

Buffy quickly brought her leg closer to her body again as Spike and Angel laughed. She broke out in giggles and squirmed a little on Angel’s lap. All the talk about sex and Angel’s continuous nonchalant caresses was turning her on. And they knew it. It was embarrassing sometimes that she couldn’t hide it from them. Angel’s hand was venturing further up her thigh and she decided to take a chance and she opened her legs for him. She saw the surprise in his eyes but his hand slipped between them and he sighed. She looked over at Spike expecting to see the hurt in his eyes but all she saw was desire.

“Ride it out,” Spike said, his voice filled with lust and his hand was stroking his cock. “Don’t stop. I want to watch.”

It was all she needed and she hadn’t even known it. Spike had given his permission and it freed all the all pent up wanting in her. Buffy straddled Angel, rubbing her sex against his burgeoning erection while his hands cupped her bottom. The only thing between them was his slacks and it was too much. He pulled her to him in a kiss as her fingers struggled with the button. Almost there, just the zipper and he would be inside of her. Their tongues wrapped around each other as she slowly pulled the barrier down.

The phone rang and all three ignored it. Angel was lifting her. The answering machine picked up. He was there prodding at her entrance. One downward movement and…

“Buffy, its Giles, pick up it’s an emergency….”

To be continued in Chapter 5 – Points of View
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