Chapter 15 – Deuce
Buffy
leaned forward to take another sniff of her flowers. They were a gift from
Angel who had returned to
Even with
the threat of Glory still hanging over their heads life seemed to be getting
better every day. Her mother was recuperating, Angel was making her feel like
she did at sixteen and Spike was, well…Spike. He filled all the empty places
inside of her that everyone else seemed to miss. He guarded her darkest fears
and shared her laughter. She smoothed down her skirt and walked over to him. He
looked up from the file he was reading when she leaned on the desk next to him.
“What’s up,
Pet?”
“Just
wanted to tell you that I love you,” Buffy said, smoothing his curls back with
her fingers. She kissed his cheek and straightened back up. “And that I’m going
down to check in with Giles. See if he’s had any luck getting information from
the Council.”
Spike
studied her for a moment and nodded. He returned to his file without looking
back at her and she laid her hand on the papers he was trying to read.
“Is there
something wrong?” Buffy asked. “Did I miss something?” She looked back toward
her desk and the empty in-basket. It hadn’t taken her long to figure out that
the job was just an excuse so they could give her a paycheck. But since Spike
had taken a few cases there had been some filing to do and she came in after
school to answer phones. Occasionally there was research or actual leg work
that she’d helped with but mostly it was nothing. But what work there was she
did with diligence.
“No,” Spike said, standing to hug her.
“Everything’s fine. Guess I’m impatient for Angel to get home tonight.”
“Are you
upset about the flowers and the other gifts?”
In Angel’s
renewed interest in her, Buffy noticed that Spike seemed to be neglected. She
didn’t want him to be hurting while she and Angel worked their problems out.
There had to be a way for them to balance their relationship so that everyone
received what they needed. Spike seemed sad as he tucked her hair behind her
ear.
“I’m not
upset,” Spike answered. “I’m happy that you and Angel are close again. It
actually makes me feel better. There are still some things we need to talk to
you about and I guess it’s weighing on my mind.”
“Things are
smoother right now,” Buffy said, wrapping her arms around his waist. “And I
agree that tonight we need to sit down and get everything out. It should have
been done the last time Angel was in town.”
“Yeah, it
should have but we had the whole telling Giles about Dawn speech,” Spike said.
“And then you and Angel couldn’t keep your hands off each other long enough to
do any talking.”
Buffy
grinned as her hands drifted downward to cup his ass. “And if I remember your
hands were involved quite a bit too.” She tugged him closer to her.
“Had to get
my loving too,” Spike said, kissing her. “Now go on and talk to your Watcher.
See if those prats in the mother country have anything useful to tell us.”
With one
last lingering kiss, Buffy headed downstairs. Her mind was full of the
possibilities of the night ahead when halfway down the stairs everything
started spinning. She reached out for the handrail but missed and stumbled. She
fell on her bottom and slid down about four steps before she could get a hold
of the railing to stop herself.
“Buffy, oh
my God,”
Buffy
clutched at her head as she willed the room to hold still. She was aware of
everyone gathering around her and closed her eyes.
“Pet, are
you hurt?” Spike said, sitting beside her and pulling her into her arms.
“I don’t
know what happened,” Buffy said. “I got really dizzy for a second.”
“Are you
feeling better now?” Giles asked.
“Yeah,”
Buffy said, sitting up again. “All clear headed now but embarrassed at making a
fool out of myself.” She tugged her skirt down. “Next time I take a plunge down
the stairs someone remind me to wear pants.”
Her quip
had the intended result as everyone laughed. She was mortified that she, a
Slayer, had been too clumsy to go down a flight of stairs. And she’d been
walking not even running them.
“Might be
fine,” Jenny said, reaching for Buffy’s hand. “But let’s go get you a glass of
water.”
Buffy
accepted the older woman’s hand and allowed herself to be taken into the
bathroom.
“How are you
really feeling?” Jenny asked, handing her the cup. “I hate to say it but you
look a little pale.”
“I don’t
know,” Buffy said. “My stomach’s been a little upset the last few days but this
was the first time I felt dizzy.”
“Buffy, is
there any chance you’re pregnant?”
“No,
absolutely not,” Buffy said. Angel had told her in the beginning of their
relationship that there would never be children between them. Therefore there
had never been any further discussion of the subject. She’d accepted that she
wouldn’t be a mother because of her relationship with Angel and Spike.
“Vampires can’t get women pregnant and I haven’t been with anyone else. Keeping
the two of them happy is more than enough.”
“Sweetie,
it is possible,” Jenny said kneeling beside her. “It’s very rare but has been
known to happen. There are legends from the old days of these children. Giles
can even tell you that it’s possible. Is your period late?”
“My periods
have been irregular since I was chosen. It doesn’t matter because I’m not,”
Buffy said. “Angel would never risk it. He told me that it would never happen.
And I believe him.”
“You have
the symptoms,”
“I am not
pregnant,” Buffy insisted. “Look there’s a lot of stuff happening in my life.
My mom, Glory, Angel’s not around, trying to keep up with school and the job
that doesn’t exist. Plus Angel’s got me on this intensive training schedule. He
wouldn’t push me so hard if he thought I could have a baby.”
They did it
again. Jenny and
“Stop
that,” Buffy said. “Look, I’m not pregnant. I don’t want to be.” She buried her
face in her hands as she burst into tears. “Please, not something else. I can’t
handle anything else right now. It was all coming together and a baby would
ruin everything.”
Jenny pulled
her into a hug and rocked her as she cried. It was too much. There was still a
part of her that wanted that normal life that Angel had left her for. Sometimes
she stilled pulled the fantasies out and played with them. She’d imagine a baby
girl with Spike’s blue eyes or a little boy with Angel’s build. But she knew it
was a fantasy. It was just something to while away the time and not anything
that could ever be. She was a Slayer and the lover of two vampires. And death
was still a daily threat. Babies, a home, a wedding were all things she’d left
behind her.
“Buffy,
listen to me,” Jenny said, stroking her back. “You’re probably right. Those
symptoms could be just because you’re exhausted, emotionally and physically.
But they could also be from pregnancy and the only way to find out for sure is
to take a test. How about I give you a ride to your mother’s house and we’ll
stop to pick one up on the way? That way you know for sure. And once we know
that you’re not then you can go to the next possibility. But you need to find
out.”
“No, I’m
not. I can’t be.”
“What if
you are?”
Her hand
covered her stomach. She knew she couldn’t handle it if she was and something
happened to the baby because she refused to accept it. And what she’d do to
herself was nothing compared to what her mates would do to her. With acceptance
of one more thing she had to take care of she turned to Jenny.
“Yeah,
would you take me to pick up a test?”
~~~~~~~~
Spike lit
his cigarette, inhaled deeply and lay back on the pillows. He watched as Angel
returned to the bed to lie next to him. His Sire reached for the cigarette and
he passed it to him. They were alone. Buffy had gone to her mother’s to have
dinner and spend some time with her and Dawn. He wasn’t sure if it was because
Buffy was gone or if it was only because they needed it but this time their
reunion had been slower and sweeter instead of the games of the last time. His
Sire seemed to have a need to be reminded how much he was loved. The loneliness
had filled those brown eyes and Spike was quick to tell him with words and
touch how much he loved him.
“What do
you have planned for Buffy?” Spike asked, accepting the cigarette back. He had
tried to figure out another way of asking but in the end it all came out the
same. May as well be blunt and get it over with.
“What do
you mean?” Angel asked, turning on this side to face him.
Spike
sighed. He was hoping he wasn’t going to have to play this game. They had just
made love. When would Angel trust him? He looked around the room and spotted
the present for Buffy on the dresser. He knew it was another step in her
seduction. Enough was enough. If Angel wasn’t going to talk then he’d find the
answers out for himself. Spike stood to grab the bag and dumped it out on the
bed. The contents tumbled out in bright hues; scarves and a blindfold.
“This is
what I mean,” Spike said. “How far are you going to take this?” His answer came
in the form of a laugh which only angered Spike more. “Do I have any say in
this? I’m her lover too or does only what you want count?”
“William,
I’m confused,” Angel said. His voice held such surprised innocence but not to
Spike. It was nothing more than the seductive tone a spider used on a fly that
would soon be caught in its web. “I thought this would be what you would want.
You mean you have never thought of Buffy over your knee with that sweet ass
begging to be spanked. Or you’ve never fantasized of being at her mercy as she
refuses to let you cum without one more stroke of the crop.”
Desire
rushed through his veins and Spike closed his eyes as he tried to control his
cock hardening at the mere thought. But Angel had seen the truth. He couldn’t deny
it. He did want it. But he also knew that to take Buffy to that level of
eroticism would change something fundamental about her.
“Yes,”
Spike said, meeting those eyes that knew him so well. “I’ve thought about it.
I’ve dreamed about it. But no I don’t want it. I like the innocence in those
eyes and the naiveté that is still in the stroke of her hand. I know what
you’re doing. You’re whetting her appetite, letting her think it’s her decision
to go further but it’s not because you’ve a master at this game.”
“It’s not a
game,” Angel said, threading one of the scarves through his fingers. “You may
be satisfied with the girl but I prefer the woman.”
“Don’t do
this, Angel,” Spike said. “I’ll tell her everything that I know.”
It took
only a blink of an eye before Angel was beside him. “Don’t threaten me, boy.
It’s my decision to teach and if,” he shrugged his shoulders, “she wants it,
who am I to refuse?”
“Please,
don’t, “Spike begged, not caring if it made him appear weak. He couldn’t lose
the girl he’d come to love so much. “I don’t want another Dru and if you do
this, somewhere along the line she’ll break. Buffy is made to be in the light.
You can’t bury the sun underground and expect it to still shine.”
“How
poetic,” Angel said, caressing Spike’s cheek with the barest tip of his
fingers. He sighed and moved his fingers through the blonde locks of his lover.
“I know that a part of it is that you are afraid of losing this life we have,
isn’t it?” He waited for Spike to nod. “You are afraid of losing control when
you’re chip is gone. If Buffy is in the darkness then you won’t have anything
to keep you in the light.”
“Yes,
Angel, we have it good here. I don’t want to lose it.”
“I know, I
know,” Angel seemed to shake out of the mood he’d been in. “I don’t want to
lose it either.”
“Don’t do
this then,” Spike said, hugging his Sire. “Love Buffy the way she is. I’ll do
anything you want to satisfy those other needs.”
It was a
very long time before Spike realized that he’d done the same thing as Buffy.
He’d given Angel control of everything he was.
~~~~~~~~
The
directions were easy. All Buffy had to do was gather up enough courage to take
the test. Jenny had been helpful as they picked out the test and given her a
lot of loving encouragement before dropping her off at her mother’s. She’d
promised to call her friend as soon as she had the results. The test had been
buried in her bag as she hung out with her mother and sister. It had been
pushed to the back of her mind while they shared dinner. But she couldn’t delay
any longer. It was now or never. Angel and Spike would be there to pick her up
in about an hour. Taking a deep breath, Buffy opened the box.
“Buffy,”
Dawn screamed.
There was
fear in her sister’s voice. Her first thought was Glory as she threw the test
in the back of the bathroom cabinet. Buffy ran downstairs and skidded to a stop
in the doorway to the living room. Her eyes widened as she gazed at one person
she never thought she’d see again.
“Did ya miss me, B?”
to be continued…
