~~~Chapter 2~~~
The bright light of morning made the events of the night before seem to be nothing more than a wonderful dream. If Xander wasn’t here in his house, showering in his bathroom, it could have been a figment of his sleeping self. Spike smiled as he remembered lying spooned against the warm body of his friend.
For Spike nothing in his world would ever be the same. Everything had changed the moment Xander had rapped on his window, like a bright light shone in a dark room he’d never explored. Now that he’d peeked into the warmth of that very place, he was eager to see more. Knowing Xander would be there beside him made it even more welcoming.
Spike was aware of his friend in a heightened way, making him flushed with desire. Anticipation of Xander coming from the bathroom wrapped in a towel was giving him a hard on, yet he felt awkward and unsure of what to say or do. He didn’t want to be caught lying there as if he was waiting, so he jumped to his feet.
Hurrying downstairs, he shrugged into a black cable knit sweater on the way. He wasn’t ready to see Xander again. It was awkward, too new and he needed a few minutes to decide how to treat the night before. To decide if he even wanted things to change between them. If he wanted to risk his entire life on a feeling that may not be more than compassion driven lust. And the biggest question of all was if he was ready to tell anyone what had occurred.
“Hello dear,” Anne, Spike’s mother, said as he stepped into the kitchen.
She was standing at the stove preparing his breakfast like she did every morning. He paused, letting the tranquil scene slow the racing questions in his mind. Feeling the need for a connection to what he knew and understood as stable, Spike practically sprinted across the room to embrace her. This was life, his life, it was security and happiness, sighing he buried his face in her shoulder with his arms tight around her.
“I love you, mum,” he whispered.
“I love you too,” Anne laughed. “Everything all right?”
“Yeah,” Spike stepped back, suddenly feeling foolish at his emotional display. He grinned hoping to dispel the inquiry in his mother’s eyes. “Xander’s here,” he added, grabbing a slice of bacon off the plate beside the stove. He took a bite as his stomach growled.
“Oh,” Anne said without emotion. It her usual reply when Xander sought refuge at their house. This time she nodded absently as if she was reminding herself why Xander came to them in the middle of the night. Turning back to her stove, she reached for the carton of eggs. “I’ll cook some more food.
Sitting at the table, Spike watched his mother do something she’d done almost every morning as far back as he could remember. Upon his father’s death they were lucky to have been left enough money so that Anne could stay at home. She’d never worked a day in her life. It was great for Spike, but sometimes he wondered about her. Where would she be when he left for college?
He lifted his head when his mother slid a plate in front of him. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. How is Xander? He must have come in awfully late?”
“Yeah, he did.” Spike hesitated. It wouldn’t do any good to hope for an offer of protection for Xander so he didn’t bother to explain further. No one questioned Mr. Harris or what he did to his son. It didn’t matter how many times Xander stayed at his friends houses or went to school with bruises. Therefore, instead of even trying, Spike picked up his fork and started to eat. Not for the first time, he wondered why the adults in their lives never tried to protect Xander.
“Morning,” the object of his thoughts said from the doorway. “Hi Mrs. Nagle, something smells good.”
Anne giggled. “Good morning. I’m fixing you a plate of bacon and eggs. Take a seat at the table.”
Like dozens of times before, Xander slid into the chair across from Spike. Anne added another plate to the table before she went about cleaning up. Xander reached for the salt while his tongue darted out of his mouth in joyful expectation of real cooking. Xander grabbed his fork with his free hand, never looking up as he went through his ritual. Spike was transfixed, ignoring everything else until Xander shifted in his seat. Their knees met under the small bistro table. Xander ignored it as he dug into his food.
Spike swallowed back his emotions as a new sensation was added to the routine. A charge darted through him and his heart beat faster as everything he once accepted as his reality turned upside down.
~~~~~~
“Angel can be such a jerk,” Buffy proclaimed for about the tenth time in the last ten minutes. A phone conversation between her and the current object of her affections was the center of her morning as she chattered unceasing since they’d left her house. “I can’t believe he is telling me that I’m better off without him. God, I am, but I still can’t…”
“You won’t be happy until you conquer him,” Xander said. “Then you won’t care anymore. Pattern, Summers, pattern.”
Spike looked into the rearview mirror at Xander and then to
Pulling into a space in the school parking lot, Spike
directed his attention to turning his car off and gathering his book bag on the
seat next to him. Buffy was already out
of the car, holding the seat forward for
“Thanks, Spike…for everything,” was all Xander said, but the caressing fingers on his shoulder and neck told a different story.
Spike nodded. After school, they could explore this new relationship a little more. He just had to wait out the day.
~~~~~
The crackling of the speaker made the class look up from their algebra problems. Xander felt immediate relief at the break from doing equations that made no sense to him. He leaned back in his chair, letting his mind drift to the boy who he’d secretly loved for years. A smile blossomed across his face, softening his mask as he thought of the kiss they’d shared.
“Mrs. Danvers,” a voice from the front office broke into the silence. “Would you please send Alexander Harris to the front office? His father is here to sign him out of school.”
Any good feelings he was experience disappeared at the request. Immediately his stomach turned, threatening to revolt as he automatically closed his book and reached for his backpack. He wanted to pray, but knew it wasn’t of any use. God hadn’t saved him in all the times he’d screamed for help. Why would now be any different? There was no respite from his father’s control.
Ashamed of the tears filling his eyes, Xander shuffled from the classroom. Once out in the hall, he wiped any wetness from his cheeks. His father would consider them a weakness, a sure sign his son was more womanly than a man’s man like him.
Tony Harris was standing in the hall waiting for his son with no visible expression on his face. It was only when Xander was only a few feet away did he feel the anger radiating from his father. He looked around, hoping for a miracle that would prevent him from having to go with the man who’d given him life but very little else.
“Let’s go,” Tony said, turning to walk out of the building without waiting for his son.
Xander didn’t hesitate. Hesitation would only add fuel to whatever fire was brewing. He did stay one step behind and slightly to the left of his father’s reach. Not that Tony would do anything in public. The abuse was always behind closed doors.
As was typical nothing was said on the ride home. Xander played with the straps of his backpack as it lay across his lap. He wondered if Spike would come looking for him or he would think that Xander just stood him up. The only good thing in his life was beyond his reach and he should have known better than to even try to reach for it.
Pulling into the driveway of home, Xander could feel the fear twisting his bowels. His mouth was dry and he swallowed trying to bring some sort of moisture to the parched inside. Never looking up he walked into the house ahead of his father and then waited in the living room for instructions. After the night before he didn’t have a clue what his father was thinking or where he stood in the household.
The front door was softly shut before Tony finally turned to him. “It seems your mother doesn’t want me to kick you out. She whined about you being our only son.” He laughed.
“It’s okay if you don’t want me here,” Xander said, hoping that his father would agree. Any place was better than home, especially if it was Spike’s house. That would be the best. “I can stay with friends.”
“Yeah, bet you would like that, wouldn’t you?” Tony said, moving to stand toe-to-toe with his son. “Get out there to show off how queer you are, but guess what?” He jerked a thumb into his chest. “You’re not to do that to me. I’m respected, worked hard for that and you’re not to ruin it.”
“Dad, I’m not trying to do anything…”
“Shut up, boy. I’m talking and you’re to listen. That clear?”
Unable to stop the tremble in his body, Xander pushed his shoulders back, hoping his father wouldn’t notice. Tony was just getting started. If this kept up, then it would end with another beating. He tried to compose his face into a mask of obedience while looking down at his feet. “Yes sir,” he replied.
“Being the man I am, I gave in to your mother. You’re going to keep living here, but you’re moving to the basement. Take all your shit down there tonight. Understand?”
“That’s fine,” Xander said, relieved at the conditions. It was something he could live with and he would actually have more privacy down there then he did being in the bedroom next to his parents. “I mean ‘yes sir’”, he added before he got in trouble for being disrespectful.
“One more thing…”
Of course there was, Xander couldn’t get off that easily. He closed his eyes briefly waiting for the axe to fall. His father sounded too happy for it to be anything that would be good for Xander. He poked his finger into Xander’s chest, sharp enough to make the bruises sting. He looked up into his father’s smiling face.
“No more hanging out with those friends of yours. Not one of them is worth much.”
“Dad, they’re my friends. We’ve known each other all our lives…”
“Shut up,” Tony shouted. “It’s that punk you hang out with isn’t it? He’s filled your mind with a bunch of homo talk, twisting things until you can’t even think for yourself?”
“No sir,” Xander said, while his shoulders dropped in defeat. He should just shut up and let his father win, but something inside him made him stand up for the boy he loved. “Spike hasn’t done anything like that.”
“Bullshit. No son of mine is a queer boy. It’s cuz he seduced you, isn’t it? Is that what’s got you believing you like it up the ass?”
“No, he hasn’t. Dad, I’ve never been with anyone, much less Spike,” Xander said, forcing a small laugh he hoped would diffuse the situation.
“You telling me you never got any? No wonder you’re all messed up,” Tony said. “That’s why you’re all thinking you need some man in your bed.” He leaned close to his son. The alcohol on his breath drifted across Xander’s face making his stomach turn. “Now, don’t tell your mother, but I’ll take you this weekend down to a man’s place. See if we can get one of those women to let you know what you’ve been missing. Once you get a little pussy, you won’t even be thinking about fudge packing.”
Obviously pleased with what he considered the solution to everything, Tony patted Xander on the back. As his father walked away, Xander couldn’t think of anything to say to change his mind. He covered his mouth with his hand as he raced to the bathroom. Once again he wondered what he’d ever done to deserve this hell as he threw up his lunch.
to be continued…
