Chapter 9





Buffy was being too quiet, and well, just too damn helpful for comfort.  Dawn handed her another stack of her clothes to put in the dresser, and Buffy took them without one of her standard smartass comments.  It was too eerie. 


“So, how did things go with the guys earlier?”  Dawn asked, hoping for once that her sister wouldn’t consider her too young to confide in.  There wasn’t anyone else around for Buffy to talk to, except for Andrew, and well face it; he just wasn’t a good choice for girl talk. 


“It went fine,” Buffy said, sighing.  She sat down on the edge of the bed, and then ran her hand over the comforter.  “Do you know they decorated this room for me?”


“Why aren’t you staying in it?”


“Because I’m staying in their room,” Buffy moaned, covering her face with her hands.  “Oh, god, what am I doing?”


“I think it’s called following your heart.”  Dawn giggled as she patted her sister on the back.  “It’s going to be okay.  You were living in denial for way too long.”


Buffy only moaned louder before leaning into her sister.  Dawn stroked Buffy’s hair.  Their time in Rome had been a maturing time for both of them.  They were out of the middle of the major battles.  There was shopping to do, and fun to be had.  Which they’d both indulged in with abandon, and of course, there were the men.  For a little while, they’d both forgotten their responsibilities, what their lives were really supposed to be.  Reggie helped to bring that illusion to a swift death.  Buffy didn’t know who he was in the beginning.  She enjoyed the attention he gave her, and for the first time in a very long time, she was dating just like any other normal woman. 


Until she discovered the truth, and what it had cost her for being blind.  Andrew finally came clean about Spike, after a slip of the tongue, and it devastated Buffy to find out that Spike was alive.  He’d been there, so had Angel, and she’d missed them both because she’d been too awestruck by their enemy.  Things quickly unraveled from there, and the next thing Dawn knew, Buffy was packing them up for Los Angeles. 


“It was nice there,” Buffy sniffled.  “Now it just hurts again.”


“Buffy, do you love them?”


“Yes, and they love each other, and doesn’t that make it all so fairy taleish?  I don’t trust fairy tales.”


Dawn rolled her eyes, casting them heavenward in a silent prayer for patience.  Why couldn’t Buffy just ever accept what was right there in front of her?  She over analyzed everything, into someone else’s categories of right and wrong.  Didn’t she know the world was really grey?  Nope, because Giles and Mom had taught her differently, and they had been and still were Buffy’s biggest influences.


“Buffy, they’re not going to deliberately hurt you,” Dawn said.  “They love you.  I can see it in their eyes when they look at you.”


Buffy sat up.  “Excuse me, Miss Whiney, what was that trouble you were trying to make in the restaurant?”


“Hey, I’m seventeen,” Dawn declared, tossing her hair over her shoulder.  “I’m supposed to be a brat.”  She shrugged her shoulders.  “Besides it binds you guys together in a united front to make Dawn behave.”


“Save me someone,” Buffy muttered.  “Dawn, there’s just something I don’t…that  makes me uncomfortable with them.”


“Uh, maybe the fact you’ve never been in a threesome before?  I know you and Spike were doing some really kinky dinky stuff during your escapades, but you’ve never done that.”  Dawn paused.  Her eyes narrowed, and her arms crossed in front of her.  “Why the silence?  No outraged, “don’t talk like that’.  Have you been in a threesome before?”


“No,” Buffy exclaimed.  She shook her head.  “No, no, no, no threesome.”  A blush stole over her face.  “I’ve fantasized about it a few times with those two though.”


“Woo-hoo, my sister, the vampire layer is going to be living out her…”


“Shush,” Buffy said, covering her sister’s mouth with her hand.  She glanced over her shoulder as if the guys were there.  “They do have extraordinary hearing.  So, keep it down.”


“Yes, ma’am,” Dawn was grinning.  She couldn’t help it.  Maybe, finally, Buffy would get lucky in love and be happy for a change.  In a year, she’d be heading off for college, and she didn’t want to leave her sister alone.  Those bouts of depression Buffy suffered from occasionally wouldn’t have anyone there to break her out of them.  Besides, after all Buffy had been through, she deserved a little happiness and love.  “Do me a favor?”




“Just go with your feelings,” Dawn advised.  She crossed her toes.  “You know they love you, so this time take a chance.  This time I have a feeling it’s going to work out.”


“When did you get so optimistic?”


“About the time I saw our home sink into a big hole in the ground.  It was that or give up.”


“Yeah, I guess that would do it,” Buffy agreed.  She hugged Dawn.  “Sometimes you’re a good friend.  Thank you.”


“You’re welcome,” Dawn said.  “Now, don’t you think you need to find out what your vamps are up to?”





Buffy gulped, and then nodded.  For once, she couldn’t argue with Dawn.  Helping Dawn unpack her things was just a stalling technique.  One that she welcomed even though she wondered why her sister was bothering when she was leaving the next day.  Buffy almost opened her mouth to ask when she realized she was doing it again.  Putting a hand on her belly, she stood up. 


“Wish me luck,” Buffy muttered, heading for the door.


Dawn just giggled.  “Get out of here, Buffy; before you die of old age already.”


It wasn’t fair.  This wasn’t supposed to be her life.  How did she end up here?  Because she’d been chosen, that’s why.  Otherwise she would have…she shook her head again.  It wasn’t going to help if she kept second guessing herself, and wishing for things that would never be.  Her future was down the hall behind those double doors.  And it was one she really wanted. 


Buffy hesitated for a moment, listening for any sounds before she entered the master suite.  There wasn’t any, and she stepped into the semi-dark room.  She blinked a couple of times, trying to become accustomed to the dimness that was only broken by several candles around the room.  She saw Spike first.  When she saw Angel, she gave a soft gasp.


Angel was behind Spike.  His arms were around the younger vampire, with his face buried in Spike’s neck.  Angel’s hand was inside Spikes unzipped pants, stroking the hard cock of his lover.  They both glanced up at her, but didn’t stop what they were doing.  They looked neither embarrassed nor ashamed that she’d come into the room.  Hearing a door open behind her, Buffy hurriedly closed the door behind her.  With her inside the room.  She was unsure what to do until Spike held his hand out to her. 


“Come here, pet,” he whispered. 


“I…don’t know,” she replied, but her feet didn’t hesitate to take her over to them.  They were beautiful.  Darkness and light.  Her darkness and light.  Both beloved, loved, and loving in their own way.  She’d been so lonely…so incomplete without them.  Slowly, she lifted her hand, letting her fingers drift along Spike’s chest.  “It’s been so long.”


Spike cupped her face, searching her eyes before he lowered his head to kiss her.  She sighed as the familiarity of this tongue took over her senses.  This was home.  Here she was safe, and she relaxed letting him take her along for the ride.  She felt Angel’s hand between them, still stroking Spike’s length.  It didn’t feel wrong.  When they broke apart, she reached behind her to unzip the dress.  She wasn’t going to think about this.  She only wanted to feel. 


But, yet, when it came to pulling the dress down, she found herself suddenly shy.  Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.  She felt hands on her shoulders, and opened her eyes to find Spike peeling the straps down her arms.  She glanced over to Angel who was watching their movements.  His eyes were lit with anticipation.  He licked his lips when her breasts were revealed, and Buffy had to fight to keep her arms at her sides. 


The dress fell to the floor, and she stepped out of it by taking a step toward them.  Spike was there to pull her close again.  He peppered kisses along her shoulders while his hands held onto her waist. 


“Let’s move to the bed,” Angel whispered, stepping away from the pair.  He pulled back the fluffy comforter to make room for them to be able to scoot in.  Buffy waited as Spike kicked off his jeans and slipped in first.  She accepted his hand for her to follow.  Angel was the last.  He pulled his clothes off, and joined them. 


Buffy waited in the middle, unsure of what to do.  It was easy to get lost in sex when there was only two people, but with three she wasn’t sure of the protocol of who did what to who and when. 


“You nervous, kitten?”  Spike asked, reading her mood like he always did.


“A little,” Buffy replied, trying to force her body to relax.  She hadn’t been this nervous when she’d lost her virginity.  “It’s…I don’t know…,” she trailed off when she realized she was about to become a babbling idiot.  She sighed instead, closing her eyes, and tried to become accustomed to the feel of the two naked bodies pressed against her.


“Don’t worry, Buffy, we’re going to take real good care of you,” Angel whispered.  He cupped her breast, squeezing softly as he began to nibble on her neck.  It felt good, and the feelings were only intensified by Spike lowering his head to suck the nipple of her other breast into this mouth.  She squirmed beneath them.  She wanted to return the sensations they were giving her.  Reaching out she realized she was practically pinned beneath them.  “Shush, this is for you, “Angel added, sliding his hand along her hip. 


Needing the reassurance of the lover who taught her the highest pinnacles of pleasure, she pulled Spike to her, and pressed her lips against his.  He chuckled.  He repositioned himself so he could kiss her properly.  His tongue swept into the dark cavern of her mouth in a possessive manner as if he was reestablishing his territory.  She arched up when fingers slipped between her legs.  She wasn’t even sure who they belonged to, she was too lost in the feelings that were overtaking her body. 


The fingers separated her folds, circling in on her clitoris in leisurely strokes that let her know it was Angel.  Spike’s touched was more to the point, taking her from relaxed to needing to climax as quickly as possibly.  This was more like a slow burn, and she mewled into Spike’s mouth as she separated her legs a little more.


“You like that, Buffy?”  Angel murmured.  He nipped her shoulder, even while he slipped a finger inside of her body.  “You feel so good.  So hot.  I’d almost forgotten.”


“Angel,” Buffy cried, when he simultaneously reached deep inside of her and increased the pressure on her clit.  She arched up, wiggling under his ministrations.  “Yes…please…don’t stop.”


Spike’s hands weren’t idle.  They were roving over her body in soft ticklish caresses that left her breathless.  She couldn’t have reciprocated now even if she wanted.  She was floating on a mindless cloud of need.  Spike suckled at her breast while Angel nipped at the soft skin at the crook of her neck.  Their erections were pressing into her side and at her hips.  They knew exactly what they were doing.  Taking her into a fire, that was making her lose any sense of reason or reality.  She loved them.  She loved the way they were making her feel.  It had been too long since she’d felt this kind of passion. 


“Roll on your side, pet,” Spike instructed, scooting forward as she was moved to face Angel.  She swallowed, looking into the eyes of the man who had been her first lover.  The man she had only one night with, and she felt a wave of panic at the thought of being with him again. 


Angel slipped a hand under her thigh, and pulled her leg over his hip.  His erection rested against her moist heat.  Spike’s cock was against her bottom.  Anal sex wasn’t anything new.  Thanks to Spike and those days of decadent pleasure in this crypt.  She could handle this.  She just suddenly wasn’t sure she wanted to do this. 


“Slow down,” Buffy whispered.  “I need just a second.”


Angel froze up, while Spike wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her back against him.  “What are you afraid of?”


“This,” she wailed, as the tears came.  She waved her hand ineffectually between them.  “I’m scared of being alone again, of this being real, and of loving you both.  Do you two even love me, or is this just some conquest, or a way to get back at the Immortal?  Because he said you would do this…something about pony rides.  I didn’t understand what the hell he meant but…please just tell me this isn’t about that.”


“If you need us to say it, then you don’t trust us very well,” Angel said, in that arrogant way of his, which only pissed her off.  She smacked his chest with her open hand.


“Do you trust me?  Have you forgiven me for being with Spike in the first place?  And do you even love the woman I’ve become or are you still hung up on that little girl?”


“Jesus, Buffy, have you totally lost it?”  Angel asked, sitting up.  “Couldn’t you have thought of these questions before we got in the middle of sex?”


“I wasn’t having sex,” Buffy retorted, sitting up herself.  “I was making love.  Is this just a fuck to you?  If it is then tell me so I know what to expect in the morning.  Are you going to be here?”


There was a silence as the two vampires stared at one another.  The nervousness turned to outrage as she realized there was something they weren’t telling her.  She started to scramble off the bed when Spike grabbed her and pulled her back to him. 


“Buffy, I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want,” Spike reassured her even as he held her tightly.  “But don’t leave yet…okay.  We just need to explain something.”


“What?”  Buffy grabbed the sheet and pulled it so that it covered her at least a little.  “What is this thing you have to tell me?”


Angel turned to her, taking her hands in one of his while his fingers caressed her face.  She resisted the urge to spat in his face.  The arrogant ass was really pissing her off, and she just wanted this stupid excuse of theirs out in the open.  It was obvious they were playing her, and getting her into bed was nothing more than an ego trip.  A chance to stick one to Reggie.  No one was going to do that to her, not while she could do anything about it. 


“Buffy, we love you,” Angel explained.  “But Spike and I are mated.  It’s not like a marriage that you humans indulge in, but something sealed in blood.  We chose each other to come before anyone else.  And even though we love you…you won’t ever be a mate to us.  More like a favored childe…or mistress.  You would share our bed, our lives but the relationship between Spike and I would always come first.”


Buffy slapped him.  “So, when were you going to explain this to me,” she screeched, climbing off Spike.  “Basically you’re telling me that I would be a pet to you two?”


“Buffy, it’s not like that,” Spike replied, reaching for her.  


She sidestepped his reach, not caring that she was nude as she stood next to the bed with her fists planted on her hips.  “Then explain this to me so that someone as stupid as I can understand.”


Spike sighed.  “You could never be a pet to anyone.  It’s just that our relationship, mine and Angel’s would be our first priority.  It was that way between Darla and Angel, and me and Drusilla.  It doesn’t mean we don’t love you, and that we don’t want you here with us.”


But she knew from the expression on their faces that there wasn’t any other way to explain it.  They would never see her as an equal in the relationship.  And she suspected they wouldn’t be monogamous to her or to each other.  Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Spike.  He was clearly uncomfortable with this whole thing.  Angel wasn’t looking all that at ease either about his decision. This wasn’t the Spike or Angel she knew.  They had to be testing her?  Didn’t they? 


The old Spike would have found a way to break the rules because to him love was the most important thing.  Angel she wasn’t as sure about as the memory of him leaving her came back.  It had to be Angel laying down the law, and Spike didn’t want to leave the security of the relationship he had established with Angel.  She could understand that.


Dawn had said take a chance, and her heart was telling her the same thing.  She was confident that in time their love for one another would win out so they could all be together as one unit.  So, she decided to call their bluff. 


“Fine,” she declared, climbing back into the bed.  “Do I at least get a say so on who does what or do I just lie back and enjoy it?”  She almost laughed at their flummoxed expressions.  Wiggling her way between them, she held her hands out.  “Come and get me, boys, I’m waiting.”



to be continued…

Chapter 10
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