Once upon a time in a small town on the Hellmouth…



The demon exploded from the stake wrought by the swiftly moving hand. The dust temporarily blinded both Spike and the Slayer who was wielding the instrument of death. He shook his head to clear his eyes. Once his vision was restored, he noticed the stake was only a millimeter from his chest and Buffy was wearing a huge grin.

“Oi, what the bloody hell are you doing?” Spike asked in outrage. He quickly stepped back to put distance between himself and his certain demise if she so wished.

“Trying to get the courage up to dust you,” Buffy replied with a big sigh. She put the stake back into her waistband. “It seems you’ve gained another night.”

“You can’t do it because you need me,” Spike declared, trailing along behind her. “And by the way you’re welcome for the help I gave you back there.”

“I could have done it without you,” Buffy haughtily said, sticking her cute little nose into the air. “Shoo, why don’t you? Get out of town.”

“It seems someone has a crush on the Big Bad.”

Spike jogged in front of her so he could grin madly at her. There was a faint flush in her cheeks even as she tried to deny it. Out came the patent Buffy annoyance stance in full action; the rolling of her eyes, the crossing of her arms and the finale, the big sigh as she looked to the side.

“I so do not like you,” Buffy said, trying to sidestep him. “I need to finish patrolling and get home to check on Dawn and Mom.”

“The Watcher’s there doing his protection duty,” Spike said. He cocked his head to the side and smirked. “Why don’t you and me find some quiet little crypt…?”

She punched him in the nose. “You are a disgusting pig. I hate you with every fiber of my being.”

“Not all parts, Slayer,” Spike whispered. He leaned forward trying to ignore the pain in his nose and heart from her actions. “I can smell the parts that like me very much.” He stepped closer. “Like now, ripe and sweet, drifting to me…telling me how much you want me to fuck the hell…”

“Oooh, shut up,” Buffy yelled, shoving him away from her. “I don’t want you. It’s…well, it’s from the fighting…that’s all…it has nothing, nothing at all to do with you. And…and well…if you want the truth your presence makes me want to barf.”

She stalked away. He laughed. “It’s from sexual frustration.”

“Believe me it’s not,” Buffy muttered.

“Heard you’ve been buying a lot of batteries lately,” Spike taunted, following her but keeping far enough away that she couldn’t reach him. “I can make you feel a lot better than a vibrator.”

“Arrogant jerk,” Buffy screeched, turning to him with the stake back in her hand. “If you don’t shut up…I swear that…”

“Watch out,” Spike yelled, flying toward her. He tackled her to the ground then rolled to his feet.

Two large green demons were ready to pounce. The pair quickly fell into fight mode unaware that they were being watched.


The rest of the gang had been patrolling the other side of the cemetery but nothing had been shaking there. A group decision had been reached to catch up with Buffy and Spike. The sound of their bickering had stopped them and from a well advantaged bush they watched. It was becoming a nightly occurrence for Buffy and Spike to act like this.

“Spike’s right,” Anya said. “It is sexual frustration. I don’t understand why she won’t let him give her orgasms.”

“Because he’s an evil, soulless demon,” Xander said. “She would only be with someone that was good for her.”

“He is good for her,” Tara defended Spike. “He’s always there to help her out. Like now,” she glanced over her shoulder at the battle still raging. “He’s right beside her. I think they just need to get away from all the stress and talk.”

“A romantic place that will lead them to wonderful, strenuous sex,” Anya said. “A castle somewhere…”

“Where they’re snowed in,” Willow added with a sigh. “Both of them dressed in beautiful romantic clothes of the past.”

“And of course only one bed in the entire place,” Anya said. “That way they would have to sleep together and give each other orgasms.”

“Wine, and grapes, and other foods they could feed each other,” Tara shyly said, reaching for Willow’s hand. "And of course, blood for Spike."

“You girls are all hopeless romantics,” Xander kidded with a shake of his head. “I suppose you wouldn’t want them to come back until they declared their undying love.”

“It would be perfect,” Willow said, with a small wave of her hand. “If it would be…”


to be continued…

Chapter 1
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