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Open Mike with Mike Bullard
Michelle Clunie ~ December 11, 2001

Open Mike Logo

Mike: Ladies and gentlemen, our first guest can be seen in the very successful series Queer As Folk. Please welcome Michelle Clunie.

Entrance

[audience applause and cheering]

Hug

Michelle waves to the crowd as sheís sitting down.

Mike: Yep, I tell ya Michelle, weíve had a lot of Queer As Folk people on and this is the first time Iíve felt really good about it.

[Michelle laughs]

Michelle: Iíll go tell them that.

Mike: Now, you play a lesbian on the show.

Michelle: Yes, I play a lesbian on TV.

Smiling

Mike: We used to do that around my house.

Michelle: You grew up with a lot of that, huh?

Mike: Yeah, I grew up with a lot. Just donít say anything about my mom.

Michelle: Weíll keep her out of this.

Mike: Is this the best role - the best role youíve ever played?

Michelle: Itís certainly the most interesting. I love playing Melanie.

Mike: I find it fascinating.

Michelle: Sheís tough. I like being tough on TV. Iím not tough in my real life. Iíve gotta be tough someplace.

Mike: Now, whatís going on with your character?

Michelle: Whatís going on with her? Sheís, uh, developing this season. We have more love scenes to do.

[Woohoo! from the audience]

Michelle: Yeah? I know. Haha. Every time I get the pages [from the script]....[mouths the words 'oh my godí]

Mike: Just out of curiosity, what nights will those episodes air?

Michelle: What?

Mike: The ones with more loves scenes. What nights will those episodes air?

Michelle: [laughs] You want a schedule, donít you? Mikey!

Mike: Inquiring minds want to know. Even those kids in the front row.

Michelle: Youíve got a lot of cute Canadian men here, actually.

[cheers and applause]

Michelle: Itís common, you know. Theyíre all over the place.

Mike: Not to leave any of those English as a Second Language kids out - weíve got a lot of cute non-Canadian men here, too.

Mike: So, you brought a clip with you. Are we going to see some of your lovemaking in the clip?

Michelle: The clip is, uh, no, actually I didnít bring one of those clips. Itís a last season [clip], I donít know if you watched, but we take the baby to the hospital because the baby is sick, and they wonít let Melanie back to go with her girlfriend to be with the baby, and sheís very upset, and she says the ĎCí word and all that stuff. It's my favorite scene, personally.

Mike: Thatís the clip weíre going to see - ĎCí word clip.

Michelle: ĎCí word clip.

Melanie   Brian

[audience cheers and applauds]

Mike: Man! Thatís good TV. That is good TV. And good for ya, too.

Michelle: [chuckles]

Mike: Good TV and good for ya.

Michelle: Thank you. Thank you.

Mike: Now, does David Crosby guest star on that particular episode?

Michelle: Does he guest star? [laughs] No, we didnít use him. We use the lead guy on the show, Brian.

Mike: Brian.

Michelle: Yeah.

Mike: I like Brian. Heís been here.

Michelle: No. Has he?

Mike: Yeah, the lead guy. [Ed. - oops! I think heís mistaken on that one] Hal Sparks has been here as well.

Michelle: Hal Sparks. Hal and you are close now, I hear. Iím kind of jealous.

Mike: Hal and I are pretty tight.

Michelle: You guys have lunch; you have a whole life together.

Mike: Yeah, we have lunch, we have....

Michelle: Is there anything going on there that I should know about?

Mike: Hal and I have...we have a healthy little heterosexual fantasy life together. We have lunch together three or four times a week.

Michelle: [laughing] Halís gonna kill me because...

Mike: [aside to Orin, the band leader] Weíre going to start getting you to do the plot of Queer As Folk. Weíll see how you do there.

Mike: Now, being a successful actor on a successful series, you must lead one heck of an exciting life.

Michelle: Oh god. Yeah, right. You know, I really donít. My life is so funny to me. Iím really klutzy and Iím always doing the stupidest things. Like, Iíll lose my cell phone, and then Iíll call myself on my cell phone in my own house. You know when you lose it and you call it to find out where it is?

[audience laughing]

Michelle: And then Iíll go, ĎOh god, whoís calling me, and Iíll hang up on myself.í I mean, itís the stupidest thing. And then Iíll go....

[audience applause and laughter]

Michelle: And then Iíll be, you know when youíre standing in your house by yourself going, ĎI canít believe I just did that!í Itís those moments that make me laugh and keep me going.

Mike: I love that. Now, you used to be a ballerina?

Michelle: Yeah.

Mike: Itís not often you hear klutz and ballerina in the same sentence.

Michelle: But dancers are klutzes. You donít know that?

Mike: No.

Michelle: Have you ever dated a dancer?

Mike: Once.

Michelle: Once or twice?

Mike: Yeah, Iíll be appearing in the Nutcracker with them next week.

Michelle: [laughs] No, dancers, especially ballerinas, are klutzes.

Mike: They are, really?

Michelle: Oh, every...I mean, I woke up in the middle of the night the other night, and you know how you kind of get out of bed and you kind of just go like this, [mimics getting up out of bed], and Iím such a heavy sleeper, and I just kind of went like that and I hit my head into the wall, and then I looked up and, my boyfriend has this art deco lining thatís kind of wavy and curvy, so I thought...[laughing]...Iím going to stop there.

Hands Up

Mike: What...did you have a concussion?

Michelle: No. I thought, Ďwhoa, hey, whatís going on?í I realized there was this, like, scalloped molding that was throwing me off. It is just the stupidest things I experience sometimes.

Mike: Wow. Now, uh....

Michelle: [roars with laughter]

Mike: Iím feeling the same way, Michelle. Do you get to take in the Toronto night life at all?

Michelle: Do I? No. I threw a party for my birthday. That was it.

Mike: Oh yeah. Did you invite yourself?

Michelle: I did, I did. I made sure I was on the list, yeah.

Mike: Who came? The Mad Hatter?

Michelle: No. It ended up like 120 people showed up. There were people I didnít know who they were. And, then my friend called me from Los Angeles and said ĎHey, I heard about your party.í I was like, oh my god. And then it went on Ďtil like five in the morning, and uh, itís interesting when you throw a big party like that and strangers are in your house and you donít know how to get rid of them at 5 a.m. You keep thinking, Ďoh my god, Iím going to be left here all alone with people I donít know, and they're all drunk...í

Mike: Do you hang out with Thea Gill outside the set? I know you have some kind of hot, torrid thing on the show, but Thea Gill - she was here with her husband once. She was on the show.

Michelle: Was she? Really?

Mike: Sheís hot, too.

[audience laughter]

Michelle: Yeah, she's hot. Yeah, we hang out. Yeah.

Mike: Where?

Michelle: We shop together. We have lunch.

Mike: Where? What day?

Michelle: [laughing] You are so strange, Mike.

[audience applause and laughter]

Michelle: No, we hang out a lot. We do. We hang out constantly.

Mike: Where do you go?

Michelle: We just hang out. We donít do much. We sit around have a bourbon after the show, after we work....

Mike: I like Bourbon. I had one just before the show.

Michelle: ...and weíll sing silly songs. Did you? I didnít see any back there. I was looking.

[audience laughter]

Mike: No, weíre out of Bourbon.

Michelle: Thatís too bad.

[audience laughter]

Leaning

Mike: Now, I understand also that you found love while you were here in Toronto.

Michelle: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did. Am I going to talk about that?

Mike: You bet you are!

Michelle: Is it on the thing? [meaning Mikeís note cards] No, I found love, yeah. Itís been three weeks and I think weíre going to elope in Barbados.

Mike: Atta girl! When did you ask him?

Michelle: [laughing] When did I ask him? You just kinda know. You know when you know, you just go...[snaps fingers]...yep.

Mike: Thatís kind of going to mess up the holidays. What are you going to do for the holidays if the two of you elope?

Michelle: Iím going to Barbados.

Mike: What are you going to do after?

Michelle: Thatís all Iím doing. Thatís it.

[audience laughter]

Mike: You know what? Iím might bite into a Peter Paul Peppermint Patty on the top of a cool mountain.

[audience laughter]

Sit Up

Michelle: Wow, thatís great.

Mike: I tell ya, Iím toast.

Michelle: Are you? So, youíre sick? Are you on Ė taking anything?

[audience applause and cheering]

Mike: This kind of sick comes along once in a lifetime.

Michelle: [laughing] A special, love sick.

Mike: Love sick - thatís what I am. No, Iíve got a temperature and a half.

Michelle: Iím sorry.

Mike: 102, 103. I donít know. I had people down in my room at three - I was giving away all my stuff.

Michelle: [laughing] Do you have anything I would want? Iím just teasing.

Mike: [starts to take off his watch]

Michelle: Oh, thatís great.

Mike: Itís all I have left. Hey, you already have a watch.

Mike: No, when are you getting married, really?

Michelle: No, I have no idea, but heís Canadian...

Mike: How do you celebrate Christmas normally? What do you do?

Michelle: You know...

Mike: You canít get married every year.

Michelle: What?

Mike: You canít get married every year. How do you celebrate Christmas normally?

Michelle: I go home to Portland, and we sit around and eat a lot, and drink a lot.

Mike: My sister-in-law is from Portland. My brotherís wife.

Michelle: Really? It rains a lot.

Mike: My brother lives in Los Angeles. Theyíre going to Salem, Oregon, for Christmas.

Michelle: Oh. Iím sorry.

Mike: Do me a favour, will ya? Take something down for me? Iíll wrap it up.

Michelle: [laughing] Okay, Iíll drop it off.

Mike: Yeah, drop it off to him. Iím not spending twelve bucks.

Michelle: Donít ask me to do that. I will do that. I do stuff like that all the time.

Mike: The guyís like a game show billionaire. Iím not spending any money on him. Take it down for me.

Michelle: I will. I love showing up and saying, ĎHey, so-and-so wanted me to drop this off.í

Mike: So-and-so? It would be nice if you knew their name!

[Michelle and audience laughing]

Mike: Iíve gotta tell you. Youíre one of the most limpid beauties weíve ever had on this show.

Michelle: What do you mean?

Mike: Limpid.

Michelle: Really? Well, thank you.

Mike: You oughtta come back.

Michelle: Okay, I will.

Mike: No, seriously, when you do come back, let me know youíve been here tonight, okay?

Michelle: Youíve got it.

Mike: Michelle Clunie, ladies and gentlemen.

Kiss Hand

[audience applause and cheering]



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