SELF DISCIPLINE
Self discipline is something we all need
because it is a vital characteristic of successful people. Why? Because nothing
is as easy as it seems. There are always unforeseen challenges and problems on
the path to success and achievement. To beat these you must persevere and be
strong. Likewise eating disorders or other problems associated with
excess (such as smoking or alcoholism) require will power.
Excessive habits foster low self esteem and
lack of self confidence. If you suffer from an obsession and cannot control it
you may blame or punish yourself. Likewise the
reverse is also true low self esteem may cause some of these problems (eating
too much, too little, binging or other damaging disorders), this is a vicious
circle.
Self discipline helps you control your
actions and make sure you stay on track. It is helpful if you suffer
disorders like those above and need to break out and cure yourself. Please make
use of help from friends or counsellors as this will
support you in your efforts. Going it alone is very difficult!
When British psychologist William Mcdougall (1871 ~ 1938) said, “Will is character in
action,” what did he mean? Simply that willpower is the source of our action,
and, therefore, the source of our character. For when we will to do good, and do so, we have good character, but when we will to
neglect our responsibilities, we have bad character.
When people complain or are dissatisfied
with their lives, they often blame others for their unhappy state of affairs.
If it isn’t the fault of others, then they claim it is due to ‘bad luck’ or how
‘unfair’ the world is. They seem to blame everything except themselves. Such an
attitude is self-defeating, for complaints are wasted effort and divert
attention from possible solutions. They don’t yet understand that life doesn’t
happen TO us. It happens BECAUSE of us. They haven’t awakened to the fact that
destiny or fate is not arbitrary and predetermined. Rather, we create our own
destiny. After all, our present conditions were brought about by our past
actions, and our present actions will create our future circumstances.
Why do people blame everything but
themselves for their unhappiness? Because it is painful to admit that our lack
of success is not due to any quirk of fate, but to our own lack of
responsiveness to the opportunities that were presented to us. But once we
admit the truth, great power is unleashed. For then we will realize that our
lives are not controlled by the whims of fate, but by ourselves, by our own
actions, and by our own willpower. It is exciting to realize that we can do
anything we set our mind to. Yet, after coming close to reaching this point,
some then cop out by claiming they don’ t have any willpower, as if there was a
willpower gene that somehow they are lacking.
If we find ourselves stuck in that space
where we believe we lack willpower, what can we do? Begin by understanding the
true meaning of willpower. It’s just another way of saying self-discipline.
When you tell yourself you lack self-discipline, it is easier to understand
that you can do something about it. You can develop it. But wait a minute!
Doesn’t it take self-discipline to develop self-discipline? And if I don’t have
any, how can I use what I don’t have?
Well, it is incorrect to say you don’t
have ANY. You couldn’t have read this far without some discipline, so your
challenge is not how to acquire it, but how to get MORE of it. If your doctor
told you that you need to lift weights, you would start with light weights,
gradually working your way up to the heavy ones, thereby increasing your power.
So it is with self-discipline. Anyone can start from where they are and go from
there.
Perhaps no other skill is as important to
develop as self-disciple or self-control. It is the key to self-mastery and the
achievement of your dreams. Now, let’s look at some steps you can take to
increase your personal power.
1. Acknowledge your own responsibility.
Admit that if you sit around doing nothing, you will achieve nothing.
2. Allow yourself to feel the resistance.
For example, if you are a student that needs to be studying, but doesn’t feel
like it, say something like the following to yourself. “I don’t feel like
studying. I feel like pursuing some pleasure instead. But rather than running
away, I allow myself to feel the resistance and I admit I need to study. I also
need to develop self-discipline. And doing what we don’t like to do develops self-discipline. So, I welcome this opportunity to
kill two birds with one stone (study for my exam and develop self-discipline).”
3. Take a few deep breaths. Relax and let
go of any tension. Pause and visualize the action as if it were already
completed. Study the image of the completed project in your mind for a few
moments. This step prepares both your conscious mind and subconscious for
action.
4. Now act. After doing so, you will feel
a sense of relief as you free yourself from the stress that comes from ignoring
an important task. Second, you will enjoy the pleasure of accomplishment.
Third, you will discover the task was easier to do than you first imagined.
5. Relish the relief and pleasure you
experience. Remember it. Savor it. Focus on it. For it will become the source
of motivation. At first, the lure of relief and pleasure will be weak and the
memory of it dim, but as you repeatedly do what you don’t feel like doing, the
motivation to act will grow stronger and stronger, until a firm habit is
formed.
6. Those who haven’t yet developed the
habit of self-discipline avoid tasks because they focus on the effort that
needs to be made. In their minds, effort is synonymous with discomfort. Change
what you focus on. When facing a new task, focus on the relief and pleasure you
will be experiencing. Also focus on the memory of how your imagination tricks
you, always blowing things out of proportion. Remember that the task will be
easier to do than your now believe.
7. When you launch your personal
Self-Discipline Development Program, you will do two things: complete tasks and
develop self-discipline. Of the two, developing self-discipline is more
important. For once you have mastered that you will be able to do anything. So,
it is important to be successful. Therefore, when starting out, don’t decide to
work on the most urgent task, but choose the easiest one first and work your
way up. Pretend you are working out in a gym for the first time. If you begin
by trying to lift 100 lb. weights, you will probably feel overwhelmed and
quickly give up. But if you start with 10 lb. weights, your workouts will be
easy to do and your successes will motivate you to move on to bigger
challenges. Take baby steps and work your way up. Trying to bite off more than
you can chew will lead to failure.
8. Be gentle but firm with yourself. Act
firmly in that you stop running away. Face your task, accept it, and accomplish
it. Finish what you start. Follow through on every project. Focus on one task
at a time. Don’t scatter your attention. But be gentle in the sense that you
don’t have to do all your tasks immediately as long as you start doing some.
Don’t expect to go from zero to a hundred in one second. Work up to it. Start
slowly, but gradually pick up the pace as you develop your skills.
9. Expect to be tempted to avoid your
tasks. Your mind will come up with rationalizations and excuses for putting off
till ‘tomorrow’ what can be done today. Remain aware of your feelings and learn
to think before you act. Use your reason (rational mind), not your emotions, to
guide your actions. Do what is good FOR you instead of what FEELS good.
10. Once you learn how to quickly act on
all the tasks, responsibilities, and challenges facing you, you will want to
remain fit, always ready to act. Keep in shape by deliberately going out of
your way to do things you don’t want to do, even if they are unimportant. The
truth is, nothing is unimportant, for if doing something trivial helps maintain
your self-discipline, it is no longer trivial. Remember that it is just like
working out in a gym. After all, the workout I choose to do is unimportant; it
is only the result (physical fitness) that is important. The same is true for
your mental fitness. Look for opportunities during the day to ‘work out. ’
11. Once you can keep your level of
self-discipline, you will be ready to move on to the next level by stretching
yourself. Now you deliberately seek out difficult and complex challenges that
you only dared to dream about in the past. Now that you have mastered
self-control, you are ready to make those dreams come true. At this point, you
are no longer paralyzed by task-avoidance. Each task you do frees up more time
to work on the next project. You have now started on the path of endless
growth.
Life is not something that happens to you,
but you are something that happens to life. Decide today to give up the blame
game and take responsibility for your own life by mastering the art of
self-discipline.
Self discipline and your esteem
Self discipline matters to you:
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Will Power and Self-Discipline
Sometimes, you wish to go for a walk, knowing how good it is for your health
and how wonderful you feel afterwards, yet, you feel too lazy, and prefer to
watch TV instead. You might be aware of the fact that you need to change your
eating habits or stop smoking, yet, you don't have the
inner power and persistence to change these habits.
Does this sound familiar? How many times have you told yourself, "I
wish I had will power and self discipline"? How many times have you
started to do something, only to quit after a short while? We all have had
experiences like these.
Everyone possesses some addictions or habits they wish they could overcome,
such as smoking, excessive eating, laziness, procrastination or lack of
assertiveness. To overcome these habits or addictions, one needs to have will
power and self discipline. They make a great difference in everyone's life, and
bring inner strength, self mastery and decisiveness.
Definitions of Will Power and Self
Discipline?
Will power is the ability to control unnecessary and harmful
impulses. It is the ability to overcome laziness and procrastination. It is the
ability to arrive to a decision and follow it with perseverance until its
successful accomplishment. It is the inner power that overcomes the desire to
indulge in unnecessary and useless habits, and the inner strength that
overcomes inner emotional and mental resistance for taking action. It is one of
the corner stones of success, both spiritual and material.
Self-discipline is the companion of will power. It endows the stamina
to persevere in whatever one does. It bestows the ability to withstand
hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional or mental. It grants
the ability to reject immediate satisfaction for something better.
The human being is full of inner unconscious, or partly conscious, impulses.
People sometimes say or do things they later regret saying or doing. On many
occasions people do not think before they talk or act.
By developing these two powers, one becomes conscious of the inner
subconscious impulses, and gains the ability to reject them when they are not
for his/her own good.
Will power and self-discipline help us to choose our behavior and
reactions instead of being their slaves. Don't think that life will become
dull and dry in this way. On the contrary, you will feel more powerful, in
charge of yourself and your surrounding, and
consequently much more happy and satisfied.
How many times have you felt too weak, lazy or shy to do something you
wanted to do? You can gain inner strength, initiative and the ability to make
decisions and follow them. Believe me, it is not
difficult to develop these two powers. If you are earnest and are willing to
become stronger, you will certainly succeed.
In this article you will find some exercises and techniques for developing
these abilities. These simple, but effective exercises can be performed
everywhere, and at any time. Go slowly and gradually, and you will see how get
stronger and your life improves.
There is a misconception in the public mind regarding will power. It is
erroneously thought to be something strenuous and difficult, and that one has
to exert and tense the body and mind when expressing it. It is a completely
wrong concept. This is one of the reasons why people avoid using it, though
they are conscious of its benefits. They acknowledge the fact that the
employment of will power in their life and affairs will greatly help them, and that they need to strengthen it, yet they do
nothing about it.
Will power gets stronger by holding back and not allowing the expression of
unimportant, unnecessary and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, actions and
reactions. If this saved energy is not allowed expression, it is stored inside
you like a battery, and it becomes available at the time of need. By practicing
appropriate exercises, you develop your powers the same way, as a person who
trains the muscles in order to strengthen them.
Developing Will Power and Self Discipline
One way to develop and improve these abilities is to practice doing some
disagreeable things in your daily life. Your mind and feelings will probably
oppose doing them, nevertheless, do them. Let me explain. By doing something
you do not like or are too lazy to do, you overcome your subconscious
resistances, train your inner powers and gain inner strength. Muscles get
stronger by resisting the power of the barbells. Inner strength is attained by
overcoming inner resistance.
Remember, strengthening one of these abilities, automatically strengthens
the other one.
Here are a few exercises:
1) You are sitting in a bus or
train and an old man or woman, or a pregnant lady walks in. Stand up and give
up your seat even if you prefer to stay seated. Do this not just because it is
polite, but because you are doing something that you are reluctant to do. In
this way you are overcoming the resistance of your body, mind and feelings.
2) There are dishes in the sink that need washing, and you postpone washing
them for latter. Get up and wash them now. Do not let your laziness overcome
you. When you know that in this way you are developing your will power, and if
you are convinced of the importance of will power in your life, it will be
easier for you to do whatever you have to do.
3) You come home tired from work and sit in front of the T.V. because you
feel too lazy and tired to go and wash yourself. Do not obey the desire to just
sit, but go and have a shower
4) You may know your body needs some physical exercise, but instead you keep
on sitting doing nothing or watching a movie. Get up and walk, run or do some
other physical exercise.
5) Do you like your coffee with sugar? Then for a whole week decide to drink
it without sugar. You like to drink three cups of coffee each day? For a week
drink only two.
6) Overcome your laziness. Convince yourself of the importance of what is to
be done. Convince your mind that you gain inner strength when you act and do
things, in spite of laziness, reluctancy or senseless
inner resistance.
7) Sometimes, when you want to say something that is not important, decide
not to say it.
8) Don't read some unimportant gossip in the newspaper, even if you want to.
9) You have a desire to eat something not too healthy. Refuse the desire.
10) If you find yourself thinking unimportant, unnecessary, negative
thoughts, try to develop lack of interest in them, by thinking about their
futility.
Never say that you cannot follow the above exercises, because you certainly
can. Be persistent no matter what. Motivate yourself by thinking about of the
importance of performing the exercises, and the inner power and strength you
will gain.
Trying to attempt too many exercises when you are still a
beginner, might end in disappointment. It is better to start training
yourself through easier exercises at first, and gradually increase the number
and difficulty of the exercises. Practice will improve and increase your power,
giving you a lot of satisfaction.
Most of these exercises can be practiced anywhere, anytime. You do
not have to devote special times for them. Believe me, they are very effective.
Practicing them enables you to be strong and exercise will power and
self-discipline in everything you do. This power becomes available whenever
needed.
If you practice weight lifting, running or doing aerobics you strengthen
your body. When you need to move something heavy, you have the strength for it.
By studying French each day, you will be able to talk French when you travel to
It is important to remember not to choose exercises that might affect
adversely your body or health. Deny and give up what is not necessary, futile
or is harmful, but not what is vital for your well being. Always use your
reason and common sense, so that you do no damage to yourself.
If for the sake of an exercise, you stop doing something that you usually
do, and overcome the inner resistance concerning it, you may resume doing it,
if it is not harmful. For example, if you love drinking orange juice, and for
the sake of an exercise you switch to drinking apple juice, after doing so for
some time and after it makes no great difference for you, you may go back to
drinking orange juice, if you still like it. The point here is to develop inner
strength, not make life difficult for you and continue doing things you don't
like to do.
Advantages of Possessing Strong Will Power and Self
Discipline
You need both of them in order to rule your thoughts and to be the boss of
your mind. The stronger they are, the more control you have over your thoughts,
and consequently your powers of concentration get stronger.
When you are the master of your mind you enjoy inner peace and happiness.
Outer events do not sway you, and circumstances have no power over your peace
of mind. This might sound too unreal for you, but experience will prove to you
that all the above is true.
These abilities are essential for self growth, spiritual growth and meditation.
They give you control over your daily life, help you improve your habits and
behavior, and they are the keys to every success.
Practice the exercises presented here earnestly and persistently, and you will go really far.
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