Keeping A Conversation Going

At times, when meeting people for the first time we feel tongue-tied and do not know what to say. It also often happens that there are awkward gaps in a conversation. Such gaps spoil the tempo of a good conversation. One should be readily armed with words and phrases to fill such awkward gaps. Such methods maybe needed even when you want to prolong a conversation when the other side wants to end it. 

Meeting someone for the first time
If you are meeting someone in your age group, it is all right to say a polite “Hi” or “Hello” and follow it up with a general question like “It is hot today, isn’t it?” Wait for the other person to respond and then refer to a place you have been to that was even hotter/ very pleasant and then ask a question or two related to the other person’s experience. Now you are set for a long conversation.   

If you are introduced to a person older than you are, it is more appropriate to use a more formal greeting like - “Good morning/good afternoon/good evening” and then follow it up with some general small talk.  

“How do you do?” is a formal British English greeting. The expected reply to “How do you do?” is “How do you do” itself and not “Fine thank you”. This may sound a bit strange but it is the accepted norm.  

It is advisable to address a person using an appropriate prefix like Mr./Ms. you may use first names if you are expressly invited to do so.

Ask a question
A lull in the conversation can be turned again into a stimulating bit of conversation by asking the right kind of question. The question should be chosen with care to reflect the interests of the other person. You may ask a question about books read recently, music, movies, television programmes or any other such topic of general interest. 

Many people ask a question and answer it themselves, not waiting for the other person to respond. For example - “Have you seen Mission Kashmir? I saw it yesterday, it is great. Which song do you think is the best? I liked Bhumroo. I am thinking of buying a cassette for the sake of the song .......” In this instance, the questions are there but then so are the answers and the listener has no role to play except to nod. It is essential to pause and wait for the other person to answer so that the resulting conversation is a dialogue and not a monologue.  

Making the right kind of comment
Your role as a listener is also very important. Your interest in what the other person is saying should be apparent. Your comment may reflect the emotion that you feel while listening. For example, to show surprise you may exclaim “No!” or “Is that so, unbelievable.” To show admiration you may say “Wow!” or “Great” or maybe “Superb.” You may express sympathy by saying, “How terrible” or “How awful, you must have felt terrible.” 

An important thing to keep in mind is that there are no words that can convey the warmth that a genuine smile can convey. So remember to smile.

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