BUILDING AN ENVIABLE PERSONALITY

Discipline is not doing extraordinary things but doing ordinary things extraordinarily well through proper actions. Action is of two kinds- without direction and absolute direction. What is discipline? It is a force, which marshals our inner force and saves us from possible disasters in which the undisciplined often find themselves. Discipline has advantages. It enables you to cultivate steadfastness. You do not permit your mind to sidetrack important matters. It enables you to go on with your work until it is completed. In other words, with discipline you save yourself from dithering.You remain composed. Adversity cannot push you this way or that. You are not at the mercy of your nerves and do not rush from one chore to another- all poorly done.

Without discipline you cannot experience enjoying the serenity which stems from a job well done. Achievement does not come from feverish attempts. It comes from disciplined action. Begin by doing things of 'trivial' significance. Take something that you have been shirking for long, whether it is a certain area of mathematics, which you don't find interesting, or payment of a bill or a visit to a friend. By using will power, you overcome.

To strengthen your will power, select a small project rather than a big one. If you say "this week I am going to write one essay", you are likely to accomplish this task. But if you say, "today I am going to finish this book" the chances are that, you will not. When you finish one job do not relax. Instead allow yourself another reasonable task, which enables you to proceed at a steady pace. A break in steady and disciplined effort pushes you away from long range goal. Go on adding one link to another which forms an unbreakable chain.

When you come into a task, prepare yourself as thoroughly as you can if you have to write an essay, it is better if you keep your side the reference matter. This ensures concentration, and you have no excuse for leaving the work incomplete. Do not be overawed by obstacles. Instead, look upon each step as a definite move towards the ultimate goal. Then look back and you will be thrilled to see a string of small success behind you. These inspire you to more efforts. They strengthen your sense of discipline. You have results to your credit.

Be on guard against your so-called friends. They will tell you that you are gaining nothing from your efforts. In such circumstances, remind your self of your tangible success. Bad suggestions have a banal influence. Counter them. Your effort to cultivate self-discipline go waste if you do not master the art of dealing with time wasters. They are chronophages. Every successful person has either cultivated or adopted a way of life to keep time wasters out of his life. Einstein says " have to work now", and excuses himself from the time-wasting scene.It is important to have a reasonable, workable plan of work, and a rational spur to it. Hurry is an evidence of inner stress. There is time and ways for action and reflection. Don't 'escape' from time. Fill every bit of it with positive action. This is the core and crux of discipline.

There are very many people who are bad at remembering names. I am one of them. I don't forget Faces; often I don't forget names either. But when it comes to fixing the names to the Face, I come dumbstuck. They refuse to match. I play all sorts of games to reciprocate the cordial greetings by the other chap to make him feel that I know him as well as he does. But it seldom works. It goes like this

'Oh, hello, hello! How are you? Nice meeting you. How have you been?' And then I am at a loss what to say next as I just can't place him. Situation is made even more embarrassing when he so elaborately informs me about my deeds (or , misdeeds). I quickly run through the alphabets in my mind hoping that one will pull the right chord and 'twang' will reverberate the name. It works; but just about 5 pc of the time. Then try another charade.

'So how is Business', hoping that if he mentioned his vocation, it shall open up some association. But people are so uncooperative - 'Not bad, but you know what?, with tight money market and inflation it is not as good as one would have liked.' How informative ! Why for love of God he would not say that cloth was down or electronics were so competitive.

'But you are right in the hub of the market and must be a drawing a lots of customers,'l say.

Again the blighter does not come out clean and talks incoherently, 'no yaar, now people avoid big market coming up in every colony, they prefer to shop there.' He hopefully offers.

How discouraging! Instead of babbling about big markets and so on why he just would not say that people were no more thronging to Ganj or Aminabad. This is really very upsetting .The art of communication or conversation, I tell you, is dying out . People age so vague and have no power of expression.

Then I get a flash, cursing myself that why I did not think of it before , I pull out my visiting card, look, why don't you give me a ring. sometime ,or come over? Then we will talk at length . '

Brightening up he says , 'yes, that's right . I will do that . I will give you my number too.' That is exactly what I have been waiting for . Then he picks up a floating piece of paper , borrows my pen and scribbles a number. Great ! sometimes though I hastily goad him , 'put down your name too, otherwise I shall wonder later whose number it could be'. But mostly I sheepishly take it being no wiser in the process than when we shook hands first .

To cut the whole rigmarole short, I have made it a practice, when in doubt, to straightaway say, I am so and so,' while shaking hands. Most of the times people respond by speaking out theirs, even if they add 'I am ........ , u ting fool ' But trust me I have often met people who just say, ' of course, I know you are.......' Period!

I like best the people who sensing slightest hesitation offer, ' you are not able to place me. Arre yaar, I am....' They are darlings. I feel like hugging and kissing them. Of course, you can't always do it. Most certainly not if the person happens to be a lady. Still!

A good sense of humour may well be called as the sixth essential . A total want of it may be as good an affliction as the absence of any other five essential senses. Hippocrates recognised four main "humours" ( phlegm, blood, choler and black bile) in the human body. These were also called " streams" or "currents" . If all the four "streams" flowed normally, one was said to be in good humour.

Humour has been defined variously by various people but everybody agrees that its physical manifestation is a smile or laughter. Kant said that the cause of laughter was "the sudden transformation of a tense expectation into nothing. Henri Bergson says it is "the feeling of relief." With humour, we can establish a congenial atmosphere for ourselves as well as others who come in contact with us. This helps greatly in times of stress and enables us to come out of many a crisis unscarred.

We can do ourselves a lot of good if we remember that except in case of stark tragedy there is always a humorous side to every aspect of life. Humour also serves as a kind of ego booster. A tale about people can be told to show that they are ignorant and thus assure us of our own superiority, if the superiority is just a supposed one, then the comic effect is higher still. It takes a lot of large heartedness for a person to be able to laugh at his own self. When a person realizes that the joke is on him and even then enjoys it, laughs at it, be considered a beneficiary of humour.

The fact is that life is too serious to be taken seriously, unless we can develop the lighter side of our natures, the tragedy of life will overwhelm us. The flippant are to balance grief. Laughter is needed to atone for tears. A sense of humour prevents a man from inflating himself with an absurd dignity. It saves him from being laughed at. It enables him to be a man among men . The man who conceives of himself as an idol has few worshippers.

"Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep, and you alone. weep" No one would pay to see the most dignified man in the world, but people pay hundreds of millions to see comedians. ln the handling of audiences, every effective speaker has found that by the use of humour a crowd of people can be welded into a unit. An audience, too, can be "heated". It must be relaxed and warmed into sympathy with the speaker by his wit and humour. A cold audience sits critical and unconvinced. People are brightened up. They begin to give attrition. They forget their suspicions. They cease being on their guard.

Their natures are changed as much as the nature of iron is when it is made red-hot. Man is said to be the crown of creation for he is widowed with several faculties which distinguish him from the lower species. One such faculty is his ability to laugh. A smiling nature increases our strength. It also adds to our efficiency. A man who "sings" at his work accomplishes more in the same time and does it better than the sony-head.

A sense of humour acts like a wine in social life. It increases warmth and lubricates our relationship with other human beings. Thus, it enriches social life. "There is nothing like fun, is there? We need all the counter-weights we can muster to balance sad relations of life. God has made sunny spots in the hearts; why should we exclude the light from them?" asks Haliburton. THE CHEERFUL MAN IS A KING.

When a youngman scans most of the advertisements, he feels discouraged because experience of some years is required. Therefore, he begins to feel short of the necessary requirement and does not dare to apply for the job for which he knows full and he is quite suitable to. In case he has the requisite confidence in himself, he should go ahead and apply for the job, stating that the experience is bound to come as and when he is employed and his skill is assessed.

And in case he is called for an interview, he should not feel scared, but on the contrary, he must try his best to stand tall, not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually, seeking God Almighty's guidance all the while. Of course, he must do his best applying all his ability and skill in the job and deserve his selection over those who were experienced, more so by showing his initiative and the imagination, that may prove to the employers that a youngman with vision is far better than an experienced hand, who has fallen in some routine expertise!

Even a child when learns to walk uses some confidence in self and, of course, by and by he begins to walk. Why this natural phenomenon is not taken cognisance by the employers insisting all the while on experience? I am certain any person who wants a really good employee should like to have a young man with initiative and drive, rather than one who wants to leave his previous job. But both have their own merits and demerits. But we must try to assess our own abilities and potentials. as to my mind there is nothing that one cannot learn, if he is keen and desirous. And certainly these qualities matter a lot, besides education, knowledge and understanding of the job in question.

You must be seeing your face in the mirror many times a day and feel pleased with the personality you have. But personality in the real sense in revealed the moment you speak, more so by your day-to-day behaviour and conduct in life. But the total personality your possess consists in your inner qualities, more than your external physical appearance. So, you must feel pleased and satisfied with your inner self about which many times even you are not aware of, if you do not care to be introspective and a hard task-master.

However, one thing is certain that you possess a great potential and can easily become great, if you begin to learn more about yourself and with determination and self-confidence acquire the abilities which directly attract your attention. What is most essential is, never feel shy in learning and in the long run you are bound to be happy with your achievements. Confidence comes by doing the work, which in turn is called experience; so experience is nothing but hard work and those who have initiative can actually do and repeatedly perform such work through imagination and even create the likely hurdles and solve them.

What matters most is hard work and in so far as the salary is concerned, it is bound to come in the process itself. I know a young man, one of my friends, who is a qualified engineer, but is jobless, despite the fact that he got some work and worked there for about two years, but subsequently retrenched. Thereafter he got another job, which he himself left as he considered that his employers were not giving him due regard to his status. Now for quite some time he is jobless, and has come to me for help and advice. One must prove his worth, so that his employers may begin to feel his presence, in that he should make his position inevitable, as if he is a necessary part of the machinery without which the organisation cannot function smoothly.

Work is life according to our Vedic philosophy. And when we have to work why not do it in the best manner possible? In the 40th Chapter of Yajur Veda as also in Ishopanishad, we have been advised:Aspire Oh Man! To live through virtuous and noble deeds for a hundred years, in peace with all. Thus alone, and not otherwise, will thy deeds not influence thee. Doing your duty for the sake of duty and most efficiently that may have the stamp of your individuality on it should be your aim in life.

In Sanskrit, there is a quotation:One who does not recognise his own self, knows nothing. Hence please concentrate on your own abilities and never try to belittle them when the time to put them into action presents in your life. This is also self-assessment and certainly you have immense powers, but you do not know these.

In Rig-Veda it is stated, a man who does not work but remains idle, is an enemy of the society. But in our country many people do not find any work to do, either physical or mental, because of the wrong system of education and the wrong policies of the Government. Otherwise our country has so much to do, while, on the other hand, so much of manpower is going waste. What a pity?

Oh Man! do your work yourself and enjoy its rewards. We must have the ability to work hard, thereby keeping ourselves self-reliant and strong, as a Sanskrit poet has written:Oh Youngman! Labour so hard with your body that you may get so much perspired and your sweat may begin to run like water. Even intelligent persons who keep busy on mental exercises, must do some physical work to keep healthy and fit.

Ability comes by doing the work and it is much better to start from the lowest rung of the ladder and ultimately reach the top, rather than sit at the top and then feel frustration! In such cases, I would advise people to utilise their intellect and imagination, by initiating such other activities in the organisation that may prove helpful, not only to the institution, but to the country as a whole.

In this connection, the story of how a lion cub got somehow mixed up in the herd of jackals and began behaving like them is relevant. But after sometime when he saw his image in the water, he realised his own self and the abilities and the prowess that he possessed and began to roar like a lion.

There is a quotation - "A Learned person learns from his experiences, but a more learned one learns from others' experiences." All the inventions and discoveries have been made through practical experiments. What is the use of such a knowledge or education which is written in books but not utilised. The Chinese saint Confucius says - "Man should not only wander in search of knowledge, but should try to utilise the same in life."

Mahatma Gandhi has written - "Whatever portion of knowledge, filled in the minds of men, is utilised has its value; the rest is nothing but useless burden. "Hence the value of learning in our practical life is so visible that all the people feel wonder at such noble people and consider it a miracle, because of the penance and hardship entailed in their practice. Hence we should keep an ideal in mind and learn the method of practising the same.

The value of physical work is much less as compared to the mental or intellectual. Hence try to learn and find out new fields and pastures that have remained untraversed so far. We should always increase our mental faculties, In Rig Veda, we have been told: Whatever objective a man thinks in his mind and works in that direction, he is able to achieve the same.

It is aid that the three foundations of learning are: (1) seeing much, (2) suffering much, and (3) studying much. While as a student, most of our knowledge comes through listening, as we advance in age, we can devise various other methods to make education interesting experience.

Just as a child is curious to learn more and more about as many things as possible, it is a human trait and we must be curious to learn in detail going into the depth of all what we want to study. We can always keep this trait in mind and utilise it for better purpose, making our learning interesting at the same time. This idea if practised daily can even become exhilarating and as a result you will feel happy at the end of the day. Because of the simple fact that your have not undertaken this as a task or work, but as a play and this mood should give you pleasure, instead of being tired. But I would like to caution you here that even play or game has become 'work' for those who have taken this seriously and earn money thereby as is happening in today' world. What an irony of the situation in that physical games, e.g., boxing, lawn tennis, cricket, etc., are more paying job than any other work, excepting the tinsel world actors. But they also play as actors and actresses for people to enjoy.

The question is how to make the process of learning so interesting that a student may naturally feel attracted towards it? Generally, most of the students consider it a burden, so tedious a responsibility as has been said in a Hindi proverb.

According to most of the students, it is unpleasant and boring as also a distasteful imposition from outside; they do not put their heart and soul in their work, thus ending with a second or third division.

Manu Maharaj writes in his famous book Manu-Smriti:The more persistently, perseveringly and regularly a person studies a subject, the more he will be ale to understand its basic concepts, and that which appeared to be tough to follow in the beginning will become quite interesting. Some Hindi poet has also written:

With constant practice, even a dull-witted person becomes an expert. Practice makes a man perfect. Hence if a student works hard and continues to do so regularly without break, he is bound to succeed in his mission. There can be no two opinions on this point. If you learn the hard way and overcome the difficulties with courage, you will relish your work all the more and are not likely to forget easily what you have learnt.

Even otherwise whatever is learnt and memorised as a child, is not likely to be forgotten. Experience tells us that childhood memories become our life-long partners. Nowadays 'learn while you play' methods are being devised, particularly for small children who grasp the fundamentals of their subject without being conscious of it. For grown-up children, lessons on different subjects are given on television. This makers the task of learning easy and interesting, because even ten thousand spoken words cannot make such a great impact on the mind as one visual scene.

Indeed it is one of the greatest lessons of life that the burdens we carry by necessity or by choice, instead of weighing us down can actually lift us up in life. Certainly the students who have to accept the burden of learning, because there is no escape from it, why not change your attitude towards the burden and sing your way through life, thus making it not only acceptable but interesting and pleasant? Your learning will actually lift you up ultimately and will make your life purposeful, like the burdensome wings of the birds that become attached to their backs, enabling them to fly. Your learning and education will certainly lift you up in life!

Though our country got independence more than forty-five years ago, yet most of our people are still suffering from serious ailments of poverty and affiliated afflictions, all because of the corrupt leaders and selfish politicians on the whole. While Net Subhash Chandra Bose used to say:

"In a society, where there will be no inequality of wealth, each individual will have equal opportunity for education and advancement; in a society, where labour and work shall get full respect and there will be no place for idlers and lazy people; which will be free from foreign influence and interference, I dream of such a State. This dream is eternal truth for me, for the dignity of this truth everything can be done, all can be given up, all kinds of sufferings may be endured; to make this meaningful, even to sacrifice our life is to attain heaven."

Worries and fears of any kind are the most evil enemies of self-confidence. These have to be won over not only for the betterment of the nation, but also for your individual success. In Sanskrit, there is a quotation:

As is the Universe, so is our body and similar is the case of the nations. The philosophers and great thinkers of even the western world ruled about the advancement of their own countries, as the system completely eroded nobility, humanity and virtuosity of their masses. But our leaders consider otherwise!

In so far as the country's affairs are concerned, the picture is very dismal, let us therefore turn to our own personal matters. According to many great thinkers, it is entirely up to us as to whether we want to be happy or worried; it is wholly of our own choosing. Abraham Lincoln, one of the great Presidents of the U.S.A., stated in one of his lectures that people are as much happy as they want to be. And conversely they are certainly as much worried as they desire. But the question who wants to be in worries, pains and suffering? Is this not a dilemma? All the same the selection is in your hands!

In this context, Indian hero Kishore kumar, who has since expired, used always sing songs cheerfully. Someone once asked him - "What was the secret of his being so cheerful?" Kishore Kumar replied - "there is nothing secret in my being cheerful all the while. This is an obvious as your nose is on your face. When I get up in the morning, there are two things before me and I have to choose from amongst these. I make selection of remaining happy and cheerful and that is all to it.

There was a couple; the husband was a professor and his wife was just a housewife. But the habits of both of them were entirely different; the professor husband always remained cheerful, while his wife was most of the time miserable, feigning some trouble or worry all the while. When a newcomer came to their house, the professor introducing his wife used to say that she is the owner of a factory. And when the newcomer asked about the production of her factory, the professor would say that troubles, worries ad pains were produced in his wife's factory! Many of us are the sort of people who own, such factories and mostly remain sad or sorrowful for no rhyme or reason!

The world is according to your view. So we must change our outlook as bet as possible in order to enjoy our everyday life. The best remedy of removing the ailments of worry is to keep yourself so much busy that you may have time to think and get tired so that you may be able to do only almost essential, viz., taking food etc., and a few hours to sleep!

During the Second World War when Hitler had let loose all the destruction and fury over England, the Prime Minister, Mr.Winston Churchill, was surrounded from all sides with problems, he had to work eighteen hours day underground, he was asked by someone as to how he was able to discharge his immense responsibilities that must have kept him worried, Churchill's reply was - "I have very little time already; where is the time for worries?" Hence the simple rule is that we must always keep our mind busy on good and constructive ideas, ever thinking of today.

Because life exists today; yesterday is gone already and tomorrow never comes. Some Sanskrit poet has written:

What is past is past and that which is to come is not certain. Therefore, man should do that which pertains to the present.

Mahakavi Kalidas has described the importance of present day in glorious terms - In his immortal poem, he states that we must welcome dawn, because life belongs to our present day and is the sum-total of all. All realities are hidden in our present day, as yesterday is gone and tomorrow is only a dream. In today is hidden all the boons, the significance of work and development and the secret of success. Enjoy it while working for the good of all; never allow this to pass without adding luster to life as whole. Because if it is gone, it is gone for ever!

Our late Prime Minister LalBahadur Shastri was quite small in size; hence once a correspondent asked him that it must be matter of worry to him. But shastriji's reply was:

Nanak says - Remain small like the tiny grass; all great ones have fallen, but the small grass remains happily when a storm rages on the earth. Even remain polite and you will be loved and respected. Besides that which cannot be cured, must be endured happily with cheer. Compromise with what is true and bow down like the tiny grass, otherwise if you show erectness like a tree when the wind blows with fury, you are going to break down.

It is stated:If there is some remedy for the ills, find it out immediately. But if you cannot find any remedy, then why keep on worrying for nothing.

The best remedy for fears and worries is to pray and keep on doing your duties most sincerely, honestly and truthfully. You must have faith in His will and accept by adapting yourself to the adverse circumstances, if you feel you are surrounded by some. Never give up but think of a way out and leave off worrying. Because if you keep on fearing the worst, you are likely to feel depressed. On the other hand, if you deliberately shake these off from your mind and be bold to face the worst, preparing yourself mentally and physically, you ware bound to feel comfortable! Only rare people are able to understand the riddle of life.

In Sanskrit, it is stated Like a wheel, the good and bad days go on turning, as day follows night, so night is followed by day. After pain, you feel more joy in pleasure, as stated:

After pitch darkness, like the sigh of light, similarly after experiencing sufferings, pleasure is more enjoyable. One who is facing troubles becomes poor, such a person though alive bodily, is considered like a dead one.

So, even in troubles and sufferings we must thank God that we have endured our sins' results, And now the good days are bound to come, which we can enjoy keeping our head erect.

All of us want that we may be liked and loved by the people around us. In other words, we may raise our personality to such a height and fame that even people, not within our limited circle, may come to know about us and begin to admire us.

But there are others also, like the politicians, the athletes, the sportspersons and those in films. All the same, you can also make yourself shine in other activities of life by doings some outstanding feat par excellence. Even many writers have made their names. So, either you do something brave, courageous that may deserve mentioning, or you write about such brave and courageous people who achieved greatness. Whatever you do, you must become so specialized and expert that your name may be remembered because of your actions and deeds. Nowadays women who are very beautiful take part in beauty contests and they are liked and loved by the people at large.

All the same, from the point of view of civilisation, we must be polite and humble as well as tolerant about other peoples' views and opinions. We should not forget the fact that if you care for others, they are likely to care for you. But if we become indifferent towards others' interests, how can you expect that others will look after your interests. Love begets love and hatred begets hatred. Selfless service is the best means of your love to the people and certainly it is bound to be responded.

Some great thinker has said - "Whosoever I meet, he is in some way better than myself. Therefore I take some lesson from him". Having recognised the good qualities in others, you must appreciate it from heart and soul. But never try to flatter, as such a measure will soon be known and your respect is bound to diminish accordingly.

Remember that the most important and sweetest thing for a person is his own name, with which his heart is captivated. Hence never try to be disrespectful to anyone's name. If you can remember peoples' names of your acquaintances correctly and always call them with due respect and reverence, he is bound to feel attracted towards you, and your relations will henceforth become strong and sweet. Moreover, always ask such questions that may be of interest to him and he may feel elation in replying the same. Encourage him to talk about his own self because that gives him pleasure and you become a good listener.

It is a weakness or you may call it inspiration that each one of us want to be important, but only a few try in this direction. You give importance to others by letting others feel so, and in turn you are bound to get the same. One important point is that we may as far as possible try not to indulge in arguments, as such invites bad feeling, though you may be able to defeat the other party because of your strong points, but you are likely to get an adversary or even an enemy only by your behaviour. How can you win friends by hurting the feeling of others? It is only your politeness and humility that may be able to earn your friendship of most of the people.

In case of any error or mistake on our part, we must readily agree and seek others forgiveness, instead of being adamant. Because such a course will earn you respect and reverence - this is a fact which we must realise and always act in a friendly manner. You have to attract and remember one drop of honey attracts more files than a bottle of oil. When you feel that somehow antagonistic feelings are being aroused, it is much better to withdraw with apology if the circumstances demand.

Always try to place yourself in your opponent's shoes and then think as to what you would have done in similar circumstances. Even if you consider that you would not have acted the way he did, you should forgive him in your own generosity and continue your friendship or at least ordinary relations. In case you want to be sweet. You must learn to forgive and forget. But do not excuse yourself on any count under any circumstances for not behaving properly! Generally people act reversibly and herein lies a grave blunder. Greatness consists in breeding sympathy, tolerance and kindness.

In order to arouse enthusiasm, you must appreciate others, thereby encouraging them; do not criticize, as by doing so you will make them your enemies. But be anxious to praise for the merits that they possess. In case we want to make friends, let us greet people with animation and enthusiasm. When somebody calls you on the telephone, use the same psychology, speaking "Hello" in a tone that may speak for you intimating the caller that you are really pleased to talk to him. You must become genuinely interested in other peoples welfare.

According to the learned people and sage - A friend is one who does his best to dissuade his friend from doing any sinful act and always tries to engage him in work that may be in his interests; he expresses amongst the people the best qualities of his friend, never leave him in time of difficulties and helps not only by giving aid but whatever is possible. These are the indictors of a good friend!

How many of us come up to the standard these days, because such as friend should himself be not only honest and truthful, but really man of excellent character. We must never seek friendship for securing our selfish ends, but our motive should be to serve as best as possible, even at the cost of our life.

Muni Patanjali has given a wonderful remedy or advice in his Yoga-Shastra in a Sukta as under:

In order to make our mind contented, peaceful and stable, we ought to be friendly with those who are leading a happy life; we ought to take pity and be helpful to those who are in distress; we ought to fee delighted in the company of virtuous and noble people; we ought to ignore those who are sinful and evil-minded and bad in character. These are the four kinds of people found at all the places in this world and the behaviour and conduct as instructed in the above mentioned Sukta is sure to keep your mind at ease and will certainly enhance your reputation and self-confidence.

'A man is known by the company he keeps is a well known adage. Therefore it is not advisable to be friendly with bad and evil people because such a course is fraught with grave dangers of all sorts in life and even our purpose of leading a magnificent life and gentlemanly stature is lost thereby. We should rather try, if possible, to reform such people, of course by hinting indirectly and so sincerely from your heart and soul that may move them for the time being.

All the World's a stage and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances :

Most people are involved in some form of theatrics, performing on several stages for different audiences. At times, the audience exists only in the mind.

According to Frederick Perls, each person has two stages-the private stage where, in the hiddenness of secret thoughts, one continually rehearses for the future, and the public stage where a person's acting can be seen. Perls claims. "We live on two levels-the public level which is out doing, which is observable, verifiable; and the private stage, the thinking stage, the rehearsing stage, on which we prepare for the future roles we want to play"

Rehearsing on the private stage in the mind may sometimes be appropriate, but too much of it leaves a person tuned out and preoccupied.

In the life of every individual the dramatic life events, the roles that are learned, rehearsed, and acted out, are originally determined by a script

A psychological script bears a striking resemblance to a theatrical script. Each has a prescribed cast of characters, dialogue, acts and scenes, themes and plots, which move toward a climax and end with a final curtain. A psychological scripts is a person's is going with his or her life and the path that will lead there. It is a drama an individual compulsively acts out, through one's awareness of it may be vague.

A person's script may resemble a soap opera, a wild adventure, a tragedy, a saga, a farce, a romance, a joyful comedy, or a dull play that bores the players and would put an audience to sleep. Different dramas contain varying degrees of constructiveness, destructiveness, or nonproductiveness-going nowhere.

The drama of life starts at birth. Script instructions are programmed into the Child ego state through transactions between parent figures and their children. As children grow they learn to play parts-heroes, heroines, villains, victims, and rescuers and unknowingly-seek others to play complementary roles.

When grown up, people play out their scripts within the context of the society in which they live and which has its own dramatic patterns. As Shakespeare said, all the world is a stage. Individuals follow scripts; families follow scripts; nations follow scripts [3,4]. Each individual's life is a unique drama which can include elements of both family and cultural scripts. The interplay of these script affects the drama of each person's life and thereby unfolds the history of people.

Feltham says, "The greatest results in life are usually attained by simple means and exercise of ordinary qualities. These may for the most part be summed up in two - common sense and perseverance."

Success will remain a stranger to you if you play host to worries. You will never be able to concentrate on the job in hand. Worry will consume a lot of energy. You will give only crumbs of your energy to your main task - of achieving success in life.

A man engulfed in worries is like the engine of a car locked in the garage. The engine is running and consuming fuel. The car does not move an inch. The running engine fouls the atmosphere with poisonous gas. This is the case with the worrying man. He consumes energy. But he does not move an inch towards his goal.

Do away with the habit of 'thinking' too much or brooding. Make up your mind and then act. Action is the greatest antidote to worry, which is nothing but a sort of pessimistic inaction.

Learn to control your thoughts. Never lose sight of the vital fact that worse seldom comes to worst. If you adopt these as your mottos, you will have taken a significant step towards success.

Improve the quality of your work. The secret of success lies in first-rate performance. Slipshod and slovenly work brings failure.

You cannot improve your performance if you look upon your work as drudgery. What you do is a part of yourself, an expression of what you stand for. The way you perform your job reveals the inner man in you.

Look upon your job, not as an unpleasant necessity, but as a means of expressing the best in you. William Hazlitt, the famous English writer, has written in his essay Indian Jugglers, "What have I been doing all my life? Have I been idle, or have I nothing to show for all my labour and pain? Is there one thing in which I can challenge competition, that I can bring as an instance of exact perfection in which others cannot find a flaw?"

Repeat these questions to yourself, answer them honestly and find out whether you are successful or not in the real sense of the world.

Great men of the world who have achieved pinnacles of success were not freaks of nature. Success did not fall into their lap for heavens. They sweated for it.

Tolstoy's name is often mentioned as a great writer. But few know that he wrote his manuscripts six times before sending them to the publisher. Samual Johnson was willing to turn over half a library in search of a single word. Nietzsche sometimes wrote his text fifteen times. Spencer remodeled his System of Philosophy five times. Little wonder they enjoyed success which all envy but few achieve. Hard work is the price of success.

Rubbing shoulders with others comprises a major part of your life. If you learn how to live harmoniously with others, you are going to add considerably to the chances of your success.

In this respect bear in mind two basic points which cover most others: never speak ill of another if you can do without it. Always be generous in praise.

If you have the habit of backbiting, try to curtail it by reminding yourself, "How shall I feel if someone were to speak of me like this?" If you have to criticize, use fine, cautious words. You have to criticize, not damage the reputation of the person. Be discreet and employ restraint.

Praise is the lubricant of life. It facilitates human relationships. It is the mark of a successful man that he does not withhold a compliment when it is due. However, be warned. If overdone, it becomes flattery which is the mark of knave.

"We can do anything we want to do if you stick to it long enough," says Helen Keller and she should know.

Simple virtues of tenacity willingness, readiness, alertness, courtesy and hard work will carry you further than mere smartness.

A successful business man was asked by a group of students the secret of his success.

"I jump at opportunity."
"And how do you know of opportunity?"
"I keep jumping."

There is no such thing in life as standing still. We are on the way up or the way down. We all possess a spark which can life us on to achievement, but this spark must be nourished into a flame by resolution to achieve your goal.

A lazy boy did not discover the telephone.
A lazy person did not learn how to control waters.
A lazy person does not reach the moon as they are attempting now.

Success is a matter of talent and opportunity but, much more, of concentration and perseverance.

When you have set the real goal before you, next step is to make adequate preparations for its achievements. Until and unless you acquire the necessary education, training or experience to give you the know-how you cannot achieve your goal. One who wants to be a doctor has to undergo training in a medical college, and one who wants to become an advocate has to study law.

Since most of us go through life without a goal, without any purpose, without having any specific objective, we do not care to acquire specialised education. The result is that we live, a purposeless and aimless life.

Now you can very well realise that those who succeeded not only had their cherished goal before them but they also developed the necessary qualifications for its achievement. Every person who aspires to be successful first educates himself to be able to pursue his specific goal.

However, education does not mean simply book learning but also the development of personality, leadership, sociability and a sensitivity to discriminate between the true and false values of life and the ability to imbibe those which lead to harmony and happiness.

You may have chosen your goal. You may have even planned out and prepared yourself with a view to achieving your goal. You may have good health too. Still you may not make any progress towards your goal because you may not have enough drive to work for your goal. Actually success is accomplishing something. It is activity in the right direction.

The difference between an active and an inactive person is simply that the former gets what he wants and for the latter it remains as empty as ever.

A half-hearted attempt, a luke-warm effort might take you a little way toward your goal, but it will never get you far enough to reach it.

When the sportsman puts every ounce of his effort and will into the game, nine times out of ten, he is bound to win the race. A person who puts a constant prod on himself and makes an all-out effort is more likely to succeed than the one who makes half-hearted attempts.

One of the reasons why people do not rise above whatever job or work they may be doing is that they have no drive, no will to work. They do not make an all-out effort. They work leisurely, poke around, sit down and gossip, or simply do nothing. And there is no wonder if they do not make an outstanding progress. Without an all-out effort no one can hope to be successful.

Not only an all-out effort is necessary for success, it is also vital that you should be able to maintain the tempo, keep the drive intact till the goal is achieved.

There is the story of the gold prospector who bought a promising piece of rocky land and continuously for five years he mined the land. Everyday he would go down to deepen the tunnel he had made. But there was no sign of gold in sight. One day his patience gave in; his desire for gold became dead. He threw away his mining tools and sold his land to another prospector for a song. The new prospector enlarged the mine only a few inches more and there he found a large seam of gold running through the rock!

Had the first prospector persevered a little more, held on for a few inches more the would have surely found what he was after. "The majority of people are ready to throw their aims and purposes over-board, and give up at the first sign of opposition or misfortune. A few carry on despite all opposition, until they attain their goal," says Napoleon Hill.

Thus for success it is not enough that you should have drive and stamina but persistence too. Persistence is the main force which sustains your drive and makes you go on working for your goal through thick and thin. The quality of persistence "is to the character of man what carbon is to steel.'

In this world, everything perishes and will perish, but, ideas, ideals and dreams do not.

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