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There's nothing much to giving birth, No nothing much at all, Just lie there like a hump-backed whale, And shit a cannon ball. While nurses murmur platitudes, And say your doing well, Just tell them your about to burst, And they can go to hell. When they ask you if you would, Like something for the pain, Say all you need's a bullet, Or a snort of pure cocaine. When the screams, ripping tearing done, And the slimy blob appears, Its lovely say the nurses, Its got its daddy's ears. As if you're bloody interested, As if you bloody care, You want some sleep, and more cocaine You want your bits repaired. So don't you worry, have no fear, When you hear your first born bawl, You'll say there's nothing to it, No nothing much atall.

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