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LETTERS RECIEVED FROM THE SLUT OF ALL SLUTS: [i love you and your webpage devoted to me and my slutty ways. love always, slutty mcslutface] [...i know that being a slut is a rough life. therefore...i have 3 simple rules for you that will help you acheive a more successful slut life...1. choose the guy carfeully...he must be hot and stupid...and fullll of germs.2. no matter how hot he is...is is just as stupid...so use protection. 3. when you forget the protection and you get some nasty ass disease...don't blame it on me...refer to rule #2...i told you to use it. hope this helped...i know your slut-life will now be sooo much better. and the law we as sluts MUST live by...Woot Woot...pull over...that ass is TOO fat!] [never ponder life while sitting on a corner in d.c while wearing a shirt that says "joe mamma"....you'll probably get a LOT of black men staring at you and they won't be pondering life...they'll be pondering which gun to use when they shoot 'cho wanksta preppy ass self.] [a...i'm scared to work at the girl scout association. what if they find my slutty ways inapproriate and what if they're not approved of by the troop leader? thank god that on my application under "sex" it said MALE or FEMALE and i just had to check one...i was afraid i'd have to write..."no thanks..been there a couple times today already." ] [i'm so happy we have become better friends. not because you are smart and i can get help with school...but because i've heard that for christmas you give out condoms that light up red and green!] [i'm so glad that you and i know how to shower everyday...and change our clothes as to not accumulate random dirtiness smells...and i'm very happy that we don't obsess about weight or think we're the best. i hate people like that] [...kevin is soooo fine. i didnt expect him to call but i guess being hot helps to guarantee that he will. you...being the bigger slut out of the two of us...is doing an EXCELLENT job with this whole "advice on hot guys" stuff. i love hot boys especially kevin. one day...i'm going to sit down and write letters to all the hot guys just saying "thank you for being sooo hot...because i enjoy looking at you when i see you walking to the street." thank god for the girl scouts...without them...there'd be no hot guys packing boxes with me in august. wooo for hot guys...they rock my world.] [during my visit to american eagle i also bought an orange shirt (yes...it is a new color for me to wear) and its got a picture of the state of wisconsin on it...and it says something about cows and cheese...haha...im telling you this because i didn't even read the shirt past the point that i saw it said wisconsin on it...because kevin is from wisconsin...and kevin is hot...therefore...i bought the shirt so i could wear it and look hot for kevin because i enjoy how he looks hot for me.] [i think we should get shirts made that say "sup slut" and "hey hussy"" on them] [...i was looking through my phonebook on my cell the other day and i realized that there are like 3 guys in there...and i know who they are...and i remember meeting all of them...but ive never called them...and theyve never called me...i think i'll delete their numbers.] [you're a little bit on the chubby side...try slimfast...ive been on it for 2 weeks and ive lost like 7 pounds!] [..can a long distance relationship last? what if the guy wants ass and he cant wait to drive to see you...so he hooks up with someone else? thats bad right? haha. what if he comes to pick you up for a date and your not ready...so you're dad..who is a retired marine...like asks him tons of questions and by the time youre ready hes gone cuz hes to scared? what if you meet his parents and they dont like you? what if they think you're a slut? what if youre tired of waiting for him to kiss you? do you say something? or do you just kiss him first? ] [..i really want one of those shirts that has a picture of the state on kansas on the chest and in it says "not everythings flat in kansas"....thatd be hot.] [...why is it that when i talk to kevin i just want to scream? haha...in a good way tho.] [..i had a dream last night and i wanna tell u about it. so...i was home alone for like a weekend...and kevin came over and spent the night...and it was hot. haha...thats all.] [why is it that guys like it when girls are tan? or have long straight hair? it just makes it difficult for us...having to lay out at the beach for hours and having to straighten our hair every morning....ah well...i love being a girl...because boys are hot...so i guess i dont really mind.] [hy is it that boys will rub your shoulders and put their arm around your waist and give you all the signals you need to know they want you...but not kiss you? soooo interesting.] [.where the fuck are you and why are you not talking to me? YOU SLUT!!!] [.im retiring from the slut life...i just wanna hook up with oooonnnnneeeee fine guy. haha if he'll get with me.] [..i love my shirt that says "wisconsin...blah cows...blah cheese..." and all that...haha. everytime i wear it...some new guy talks to me...and i got it so kevin would talk to me! situation 1: i was going into the magic kingdom at disney world and this guy who was checking passes was like "ohhh are you from wisconsin?" and i was like "ummm no...its just a shirt" and he like tried to talk to me for like 5 minutes being like "ohh...cause im from wisconsin" and he like pointed out where it said cheese on my shirt {which for your 411 was WAY to close for comfort} and was like "haha cheese...true that" i was sooo scared... situation 2: we {my family} were waiting in line for some ride in the norway part of epcot...and there were these two boys and two girls in line in front of us and they were talking about my shirt! sooo loudly considering they were trying to be all covert about it...and then one of the girls was staring at me and i was talking to my sister about the weird guy at the gate who like basically touched my boob...and the girl looks at her boyfriend and in like her lousiest attempt at whispering says, "NOOO...SHE SAID SHE WASN'T FROM WISCONSIN." i love how people talk about you infront of you and think that you have no idea that they're not really talking about their grandma's deaf/blind/mentally retarded dog...they're talking about you! situation 3:so today...i'm on my way to my dentist appointment with my sister and we decide we have a few extra minutes so we stop and i run into 7-eleven to get us some drinks...and right when i get in line behind 3 hispanic men...all who are staring at my shirt...but not cause it says wisconsin on it...cause everyone knows they couldnt even read it...they just like being horny and gross...and this guys walks up behind me and gets in line and says "ohhh...are you from wisconsin?"......and i was like "no...its just an american eagle shirt...but ive meant a lot of people just from wearing it." and he's all like "oh...cause they're playing west virginia this weekend to start the season for college football" and i was like "oh...speaking of college football...navy plays vmi this weekend" and he was like "yeah...ive been to a lot of those games...my dad was class of '65" and i was like "oh...my dad was class of '77 and then he was a marine" and the guy was like "really? i was a marine!" meanwhile...in my head -- "what the eff??? why do people think they can start a conversation with me by using my shirt? i should start wearing one that says "2 Dollars" maybe then they would just hit on me instead of trying to be all cool and shit and talk about my shirt...so..back to the real life part...i'm standing next to this like 28 year old guy and im buying two starbucks frappachino thingys and he's buying a 6-pack of budweiser...yes...i'm aware that it was quite awkward...i was basically wearing a HUGE sign that says "im WAY to young for you!" anyways...i pay for my drinks and im walking out and he says "nice talking to you...enjoy wisconsin!" okay...so back to the conversation i was having with myself in my head "was he not effing paying attention at all??? I'M NOT FROM WISCONSIN!!!"] [i went to ae today and bought 2 shirts...one says "get shucked" and the other says "goats like to nibble" i also bought a mini skirt that just wasnt slutty enough on it's own and has a zipper on the right side that goes alllllll the way up to the top where the built in belt is!] [dear slut...just for the record...i wasn't out getting it on with anyone. not that i'm not capable of that...because i am...because we all know that i am no longer "fat" as some people refered to me back in the days...and am actually incredibly hot...mmmm hottness. although i wasn't out hooking up with who you thought i was...i probably will be at some point this week...so if you call my cell phone and i dont answer...just stop calling. he gets distracted easily. i must be going now so that i can do my spanish homework because unfortunately...my hottness just doesnt get me out of spanish homework like it does for some sluts from yorktown. {ahem} well...so long slut...i do enjoy talking to you and i will call you on the slut-phone later. {side note: did you ever realize that my home phone number could COMPLETELY be a 1-900 number...ex...1-900-524-tart...its sooo works} haha...bye slut. love, your hussy.]
