i miss the innocence of growing up on a small family farm in the middle of no where Minnesota.
i remember the autumn days when the trees looked like they had caught fire. their big branches colored red, orange, and yellow; the smell of dead leaves; and hopping in big leaf piles. i remember the days getting shorter, and snow falling on our heads as we went trick or treating. i remember that one house where the man dressed up as a monster and scared us every year.
i remember cold winter days when my sister would wake us up at 6am just to tell us it was a snow day. and mom would help us put on our pink snow pants, hat, scarf, and mittens; and we'd go play for hours, only coming inside to eat lunch while mom put our winter clothes in the dryer so that we could spend the rest of the day outside. i remeber dad building us huge mountains of snow so we could sled down. i remember that one christmas where santa brought us red sleds, and how magical that morning was.
i remember the first flowers of spring. tulips and daffoldils; we'd beg mom to let us wear shorts because it was so hot when it was 50 degrees; the grass would turn green, and the leaves would be reborn, and spring fever hit us hard. i remember counting down the seconds until recess came. i remember Ridgeway's large playground, swinging, playing kick ball, and running the mile around those poplar trees.
i remember that summer used to be too short. the days were long; spent playing out in the yard, riding bikes, climbing trees; the smell of fresh cut hay; sitting on the porch with great grandpa and his dog. i remember the thrill of thunderstorms, and playing out in the rain. i remember going school supply shopping, and the anxieties of the night before the first day of school.
but now all that has changed.
as i grew older the monsters stopped scaring me, santa ceased to exist, Ridgeway became the place to meet up with friends and boys, and great-grandpa pasted away.
autumn meant short, dark days and depression. snow was no longer a means of play, but a hassle for driving. spring only meant that i was going to be a year older and reminded me that i had accomplished nothing in the past year. and summer meant working 60 hours a week and still not being able to pay the bills.
the older i get, the more and more i miss the innocence of childhood. i'm in a big city now in Arizona. days are now spent in boring lectures; girls wearing not enough clothing reminding me that i'm no size 3; riding the bus with sleezy men staring at me, and nights spent drinking at stupid frat parties.
all i'm left with are the memories of days full of playing in green yards, watching the sunset from my favorite tree, and then laying out in the cool grass; listening to the crickets; looking up at the stars; thinking about how cool it would be to be older.
i wish i wouldn't have been in such a hurry to grow up. adulthood looks so fun in the eyes of the child. but the eyes of an adult are blank because corporate america has stolen all their hopes, dreams, and their imagination.
