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A policeman saw a man on the top floor of a building.
POLICE: 'Wag kang tatalon! Marami pang nagmamahal sa 'yo!
MAN: Tumahimik ka! 'Wag mo kong pakialaman! 'Di ako maka-send!
Tay: Nawala na ang Inay mo, ngayon naman ikakasal ka na.
Anak: Tay! Sa kabilang kanto lang naman ang bahay namin!
Tay: Hay, salamat! Magkikita pa rin kami ng yaya mo.
Genie: Dahil pinalaya mo ako, may 3 wishes ka!
Man: Gawin mo akong rich, pero di bayad ng tax; powerful, pero di halata; notorious, pero wala sabit.
Genie: Mula ngayon ikaw na si PING LACSON.
Sgt: Boss, nakatakas si Al-Ghozi.
Ebdane: Huh! Did you seal all exits?
Sgt: Yes, sir!
Ebdane: Eh paano siya nakatakas?
Sgt: Doon po kasi siya lumabas sa entrance.
Vet: Sorry po, patay na aso nyo. Pinaliguan kasi ng anak nyo ng laundry soap.
Nanay: Anong masama sa sabon?
Vet: Di siya doon namatay, sa washing machine!
Jinggoy: Dad, totoo bang may side effect ang Viagra?
Erap: Tanga, sa harap ang effect niyan hindi sa side.
Tanong: Bakit PAPA ang tawag ng girls sa boyfriend nila?
Sagot: Kasi papa-tungan ka, tapos papa-sukan, papa-hiyawin at papa-sarapin tapos papa-asahin at 'di naman papa-kasalan.

well folks im not perfect myself... but im just giving mah opinion growing up with mah grandparents its hard as hell to be honest.. now that i have reached this age when i was lookin up for mah uncle's and auntie's and ofcourse grandparents... i was born in olongapo city philippines island.. maybe your familiar to subic bay where the american military base was builded... this place is like las vegas in the united state... but anyway... what i was told by mah family on mah father side...i was like 3 months to 3 years old when they started bringing and finally settle down in angeles pampanga also known as clark air base also another american military base in the philippines there thats where i finished mah elementary school and growing up there without mah dad and mom around was hard.. but im always lucky to have mah dad family side on mah corner.. but ofcourse during the holiday i seen all this kids growing with their parents was hardest part to watch... so there's the time i become senti...and sometimes kind of weirdo or even crazy growing up ahehehehe [:))] well anyway alots of times im hard headed kid i think got something to do with mah parents not being to able to have their love and care im looking for... yah im gettin 100% full love from mah uncle,auntie's and grandparents but i was looking for more.. thats make me kind of wild or i should say bad kid [:)]... i have done so many bad thing on that town... thats why everyone from 3 to 4 town everyone knows me... im not makin up any story here everything im writting rite now its true story... i have few story that will be forever be remember by me and people who knows this story [:)s]...those town including mah hometown where i went to finish mah elementary school... start to 5 years old to the oldest on that town everyone knows the name "kastila" kastila mean its like spanish the reason people called me that name 'cause everyone said i look like the spanish people spanish or spaniard etc... well anyway.. anyway 6 bad thing ever happened to me 1st was mah grandparents house me and mah causin was playing in the basement then i decided to turn on the gas line etc... then i lit damn.. i swear to God that was scary im sure mah causin Ronald Pacheco Santos (he) will never forget this story.... the half of the town started running and trying to put the fire away [:-|]geez till now when i remember that.. stupid of me doing that...the 2nd time was a basketball league and its championship on mah hometown.. and ofcourse mah neighbor are in the final... i was very excited etc.. 1st half they were doing great then come to 2nd half they were behind by 2 points and its like 5 minutes left on the feeling bad 'cause they are lossing so i decided to get a rope line whatever you call it... i tight =============================================

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Japan launched a surprise attack on the Philippines on December 8, 1941, just ten hours after the attack on Pearl Harbor. Initial aerial bombardment was followed by landings of ground troops both north and south of Manila. The defending Philippine and United States troops were under the command of General Douglas MacArthur, who had been recalled to active duty in the United States Army earlier in the year and was designated commander of the United States Armed Forces in the Asia-Pacific region. The aircraft of his command were destroyed; the naval forces were ordered to leave; and because of the circumstances in the Pacific region, reinforcement and resupply of his ground forces were impossible. Under the pressure of superior numbers, the defending forces withdrew to the Bataan Peninsula and to the island of Corregidor at the entrance to Manila Bay. Manila, declared an open city to prevent its destruction, was occupied by the Japanese on January 2, 1942. The Philippine defense continued until the final surrender of United States-Philippine forces on the Bataan Peninsula in April 1942 and on Corregidor in May. Most of the 80,000 prisoners of war captured by the Japanese at Bataan were forced to undertake the infamous "Death March" to a prison camp 105 kilometers to the north. It is estimated that as many as 10,000 men, weakened by disease and malnutrition and treated harshly by their captors, died before reaching their destination. Quezon and Osmeña had accompanied the troops to Corregidor and later left for the United States, where they set up a government in exile. MacArthur was ordered to Australia, where he started to plan for a return to the Philippines. The Japanese military authorities immediately began organizing a new government structure in the Philippines. Although the Japanese had promised independence for the islands after occupation, they initially organized a Council of State through which they directed civil affairs until October 1943, when they declared the Philippines an independent republic. Most of the Philippine elite, with a few notable exceptions, served under the Japanese. Philippine collaboration in Japanese-sponsored political institutions--which later became a major domestic political issue--was motivated by several considerations. Among them was the effort to protect the people from the harshness of Japanese rule (an effort that Quezon himself had advocated), protection of family and personal interests, and a belief that Philippine nationalism would be advanced by solidarity with fellow Asians. Many collaborated to pass information to the Allies. The Japanese-sponsored republic headed by President José P. Laurel proved to be unpopular. Japanese occupation of the Philippines was opposed by increasingly effective underground and guerrilla activity that ultimately reached large-scale proportions. Postwar investigations showed that about 260,000 people were in guerrilla organizations and that members of the anti-Japanese underground were even more numerous. Their effectiveness was such that by the end of the war, Japan controlled only twelve of the forty-eight provinces. The major element of resistance in the Central Luzon area was furnished by the Huks, Hukbalahap, or the People's Anti-Japanese Army organized in early 1942 under the leadership of Luis Taruc, a communist party member since 1939. The Huks armed some 30,000 people and extended their control over much of Luzon. Other guerrilla units were attached to the United States Armed Forces Far East. MacArthur's Allied forces landed on the island of Leyte on October 20, 1944, accompanied by Osmeña, who had succeeded to the commonwealth presidency upon the death of Quezon on August 1, 1944. Landings then followed on the island of Mindoro and around the Lingayen Gulf on the west side of Luzon, and the push toward Manila was initiated. Fighting was fierce, particularly in the mountains of northern Luzon, where Japanese troops had retreated, and in Manila, where they put up a last-ditch resistance. Guerrilla forces rose up everywhere for the final offensive. Fighting continued until Japan's formal surrender on September 2, 1945. The Philippines had suffered great loss of life and tremendous physical destruction by the time the war was over. An estimated 1 million Filipinos had been killed, a large proportion during the final months of the war, and Manila was extensively damaged.

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