Conspiracy Theorists (Vol. X)

THE SECRET CODE OF SKULL & BONES

It starts out simple enough. Bush and Kerry attend Yale where they join an elite secret society known as Skull and Bones. Members of Skull and Bones do all manner of interesting things on their way to becoming influential leaders, including lounge around nude in coffins as they recount sexual exploits.

...But did you know that there are pictures?

...And that Nader's there in half of 'em, bare ass?

...Or that Nader's campaign is financed almost exclusively by his old pal George W. Bush?

...And that W.'s campaign is in turn financed by a shadowy, covert branch of the DNC?

...Or that Bush's seemingly innocent Bushisms, misspeaks, and uhs, actually contain coded messages for these other "Bonesmen" alumni? (Just lift out the extra letters and phonemes W tacks on, and arrange in order to learn the inner workings of S. & B.) Check out this speech for instance:

"Our nation was foundeded on the knowledge that it is essential to have a robustish military. Thee armed forces have played a huger part in secureing...in... the freedom of them United States. ...a... You can see testamentry to that in the way this country's foundling and fathers named the states after battleships."