THE OLD PHILOSOPHER SEZ,

Who amongst us hasn't had a run in or two with 
the boys in blue, black, brown or whatever. And 
who hasn't opened his mouth when he should of
just smiled and said "yes sir". Well, here are a few 
hints as to what NOT to say the next time.

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't 
   plugged in.

3. Aren't you that guy from the village people?

4. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 to keep 
    up with me. Good Job!

5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical 
    condition to be a cop.

6. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish 
    high school instead.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

9. I pay your salary!

10. Gee, Officer..that's terrific...the last officer only 
      gave me a warning too!

11. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just 
      so one of us does.

12. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know 
      there are no cars around-that's how far ahead 
      of me they are.

13. Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to 
      this .44 Magnum.

14. Hey, can you give me another one of those full 
      cavity searches?