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Welcome to my homepage.  This is my area where I talk about my so-called life, so it may be a little on the boring side of things, but give me a chance here.  Well, here we go boys and girls.

¡Hola! My name is Zachary James Pennebaker, I was born in Hampton, Virginia and lived there for about 3 years when I was younger.  My dad was in the Navy when I was growing up so I really didn't get to see him that much.  He was always traveling and gone at sea for 6 months at a time, and then home for like 2 weeks, and then gone again.  What a nice life, huh?  Just kidding, anyways.  When I was about 2, my next brother was born, Noah Joseph Elliot Pennebaker.  He has to be the biggest asshole right now in my life, but that's what brothers are for, right?  Well, when my brother was born, my mom decided that she would have an affair with some dude that lived in our apartment complex, but I don't remember his name.  My mom knew that she wasn't being totally fair with my dad, so we moved so she could get away from everything.  We moved to Pittsburgh, PA. to live with my grandparents.  We lived there for about a year, and I remember going to school there and riding the bus, but everything else is really blurry.  After being there for only a year, we moved to Indiana, and remember, this is just me, my mom, and my brother, my dad still doesn't know anything.  So when my dad found out, he retired from the Navy and picked us up in Indiana.  And truthfully, if I had my way, I would have liked to stay in Indiana.  It was always so nice there, and I remember I had a lot of friends that lived near me, the neighbors were really nice, and we had a huge house there, though I don't know how we got it.  I remember waiting for the bus in the morning and me and the other kids would always start a snow ball fight, but anyways, back on subject here.  After my dad found out, we all got up and moved to Florida, yay!  We moved to Bonaventure, Florida when I was like just starting 1st grade.  I came into the school year about 2 weeks late I remember.  I attended Indian Trace Elementary School, and this is where I met all my good friends that I still go to school with now.  Basically, my first 5 years of school were easy, nothing really important happened in those years.  But I think when I was in 3rd grade, we decided to move into a house for the 2nd time in our lives, a few minutes away from where we lived then.  We moved to a small house in a neighborhood that wasn't fairly old, but had been there about 10 years.   It was a small 3 bedroom house.  At this current time, my mother did not have a job and my dad worked at a power plant in Miami.  So after being there about a year, my mom became really good friends with these people down the street, a lady named Melinda.  She worked for a Government company writing Affirmative Action Plans, and this is how my mommy started work.  They all worked from home and to this day, I still don't really get what my mom does, but she's always in her office typing away and chatting on the phone.  Well, lets jump a few years further down the road to 6th grade.  In my middle school years is when I actually started noticing my sexuality and other guys and what not.  I noticed that when I was in P.E. and we went into the locker rooms I would always stand around and just stare at the other guys as they got changed.  This was my "changing" period.  My middle school years were rough, because my mother had given birth to yet another child, my 2nd brother named Seth Michael.  He was cute at first, but oh my, what I wouldn't do to give him back to God.  Being that we had a new person around the house now and always had company coming over and what not, I was never really doing homework or paying attention in school, so my grades basically sucked during those 3 years.  I was always bringing home D's and F's and of course, I was always grounded and stuck in my room everyday after school.  Never hanging out with friends, or talking on the phone like a normal teenage boy would do, nope, not me, I would sit around and stare at the walls on the weekdays, and only come out of my room to eat dinner with the family.  So that was basically my middle school years.  Now we move onto High School.  The first thing that I have to say is, whoa, what a big change from anything else I had ever been to.  You have people that are 6'2 walking past you in the hall, kids with facial hair and bulging muscles, and then there was me, the short kid that was still getting that manly deep voice to come through.  In 9th grade, I joined JROTC at school, if you don't know what that is, it's basically a program to teach you to be an officer in the ARMY.  It's a really cool class if you actually get involved in it.  Basically 9th grade was easy for me, this is when I started doing my homework and getting some decent grades in school.  This is also the year that I actually told myself that I am gay/bi, whatever I am, it was also the first year that I actually did things with another guy.  The first would be my friend Morgan Anderson.  I met him online through this game called flight simulator.  We were flying together and we talked for a long time that first night, and we switched e-mails and what not and started to keep in touch.  Soon after that I downloaded AIM and we started talking live, and not through e-mails anymore.  We got to know each other really good, but we both didn't know about each other. One night we were just talking, and he came out to me, from no where. He just said, Zack, I'm gay and want to do things with a guy, and I was like, ummm ok.  So I came out to him and everything was good, and then I found out that he had a crush on me, and that he wanted to "date" me.  So we said that we would keep ourselves to each other and not see other people.  A few weeks after that we made plans for Morgan to come to my house for a week in the summer, just so we could meet in person and hang out for a little bit with each other.  So sometime in June I believe, he flew down to South Florida and I met him.  He was everything that I had expected.  He was always nice and sweet, and very cute.  Those first few nights were great.  I remember that first night we spent together like it just happened 5 minutes ago.  I was in the pool when he got to my house and I asked him to come in, but he didn't want to.  So a few minutes later I got out, and took a shower and what not, and got all dried off and dressed, and we went into my room.  We both got on my bed and put our backs up against the wall, like we were laying down, but kind of sitting still.  So I had the remote control in my hand and I was just going from channel to channel and I forgot that Morgan was even there, I thought that everything before that was just a dream.  So I dropped it or something I don't remember, but I put my hand down next to me to pick it back up and he had taken it from me.  So I started fighting with him to get it back, but he wouldn't let go.  So my hands were running all over his and what not, and then he just dropped it, and he grabbed my hand tight, taking the breathe away from me.  It was seriously the best feeling that I have ever had in my entire life.  So he got up and with the boyish look on his face, he went over to my door, shut it all the way and then locked it, and walked back over to the bed and lay down next to me again and grabbed my hand.  I'd like to go into detail as to what happened next, but there could be some young viewers out there.  anyways, with like the 3rd day he was there, he started to ignore me and we stopped doing things, and I didn't know what I was doing wrong, and I would ask him, and he would always give me the same response "nothing."  I knew that he was lying, cause it wasn't like him to stop all of the sudden.  So whatever, the week went by, and he asked me to go back to Houston with him cause he didn't want to lose me that fast.  So I asked my mom if I could go back with him, and she said yes and we got a ticket for the same flight that he was on, and I was able to sit next to him there.  I don't remember much about the plane ride except me just sitting there looking at him the entire time.  When we got to his house, we basically just sat around and that week we did whatever.  We went to the mall a lot and me and his brother became friends, but on the last day I was there, things changed.  Morgan and his brother had a doctor appt at the same time my flight was leaving, so he couldn't see me go.  So we were at the office, and his mom said, "Morgan, it's time for Zack to go, say good-bye."  But Morgan just sat there and stared at the wall, and his mom said, well are you going to say anything, get up and hug him or something, but nothing, he still just sat there.  So we left, and Morgan had not said a thing to me, and he still won't tell me to this day why he didn't say good-bye, but of course, I cried all the way back to Florida, and I haven't seen Morgan since then.  We keep making plans to see each other, but it never works out.  He is now moving to Hawaii and I definitely won't be talking to him as much anymore. 

Well, onto something else now. I'd like to explain what else goes on in my life, but chances are you people already stopped reading before you got here.  Anyways, it's now current day and life still sucks.  I still can't find anyone in my life, and haven't really had a good relationship in a long time.  My dad still yells at me for everything I do and still abuses me and tells me he hates me, but that's life.  My brother still spreads rumors about me to all his friends and I am still the one that gets hurt day by day.  I am the one to make dinner each night, do all the laundry for everyone, clean the house each morning before I leave for school, and I am the one that just gets treated like a fucking slave around here instead of a family member.  I wish I could explain what my life is like, but I just can't put it into words right at the moment.  

Well, if you want me to tell you some more, you can e-mail me or IM me or whatever.  Both of those are on my Welcome page, just click on the links.

Each week I will be adding a stupid story to this, so watch for more details.