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Big Trot - Can't canter within a 2 mile straightaway

Nicely Started - lunges, but we don't have enough insurance to ride him yet.

Top Show Horse - won a reserve championship 5 years ago at a show with unusual low entries due to a hurricane.

Home Bred - knows nothing except being raised on the front porch.

Recently Vetted - someone else found something badly wrong with the horse.
Big Boned - good thing horse has mane & tail or he would be mistaken for a cow.

Doing Courses - when tranqualized to the eyeballs & lunged 6 hrs straight before hand.

Well Mannered - hasn't stepped on, bitten, or kicked anyone for a week.

Professionally Trained - hasn't stepped, bitten, or kicked anyone for a month.

Should Mature 16 hands - currently 13h, dam is 14.2h, sire is 15h, every horse in pedigree back 18 generations is under 15h but this horse will definitely defy his DNA and grow.

To Good Home Only - not really for sale unless you can 1) pay twice what he is worth, 2) allow current owner to tuck in beddy - bye every night, 3) are willing to sign a 10 page legal document.

Bold - runaway

Athletic - runaway

Needs intermediate Rider - runaway

Needs Experienced Rider - "dead" runaway

Dead Quiet - just dead

Started O/F - started overfeeding because we can't ride.

No Vices - especially when he wears his muzzle.

Light Cribber - we can't afford to build any more barns & fences for the buzz saw.

No Time For Him - he's lucky to be fed

Shown Successfully - No one was killed in the one schooling show he was in.

Excellent Disposition - never been out of his stall

Clips, hauls, and Loads - Clippity, clippity is the sound his hooves make when he hauls ass across the parking lot when you try to load him.

Good Broodmare prospect - not a chance in hell she's rideable.

Good Dressage prospect - we tried him in the hunters and he's a complete maniac over fences.

"Hey cowboys, here's one for you" - bronco.

Big circle horse - can't turn in 240 acres.

Great stops - launches riders every time.

Easy to catch - in a 10 X 10 stall.

Easy to load - only takes 3 hours, 4 men and a tractor with loader.

Smooth - mouthed that is. His gaits are enough to make you smooth mouthed too, rattle your teeth loose!

Spirited - Loves to run all out all the time.

Good mother - Awful at everything else.

Easy breeder - A stallion that will mount anything that moves.

Has beautiful babies - good, because she's plug ugly herself.

Pasture horse - He'll kick a new door in your stall to get out.

Spectacularly marked - Horrible conformation, pretty spots.

Used to race - Still does, unless firmly tied to a tree.

Owner getting out of the business - Owner is tired of dealing with this ignorant monster.

Works well off his rear. - Because the front is usually off the ground.

Must sell due to financial situation. - horse is costing me a fortune in bute and supplements.

Puppy dog temperament - has no manners, but is cute, so it's ok.

Always in the ribbons - 10th place, out of 10 riders.

Goes in a snaffle - Like a bat out of hell.

Scopey - has jumped out of every paddock we own.

Wonderful Halter prospect - Bred for beauty not brains.

Lady's horse - Cold backed.

Man's horse - You'll have to be a weightlifter to stop this one.