I am the Ox in the Field

Things You Can't Do In Tampa

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.
It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.

A guy walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Hey, do you wanna hear a drummer joke?" The bartender says, "Well, I think I should tell you first, that guy shooting pool there is a drummer, and that weight lifter in the corner is a drummer, and the guy with the death tattoo at the bar over there is a drummer, and I'm a drummer. So, you can tell your little joke if you want." The guy thinks for a second, then shrugs. "Nah, I don't wanna have to explain it 4 times."

Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took two hours to get the drummer out.