Trials Of Mine

Jonathan Jenkins

June 28, 2001

Some Things I Have Gone Through Lately

This essay, for lack of a better word, is going to be jumping around a lot. It is just thoughts at random put down on paper. What is wrong with some people? Why do they act the way they act? There are just some people that are just plain mean. Sometimes, they can be nice, but that is just a front. Some people act like they are your friend, and then later you find out that they did it just because the wanted something. You were used. Being used is not fun. I know from experience, as well as about everything else in this essay. That’s why I am writing this. Because I want to tell you, the reader, what is going on right now, and so I will be able to look back and see some of the stuff that I go through. I guess I should just write everything out with names and details and everything. I have a few stories, so I will have to decide which one I will write about first. I am not saying that the people in these stories were deliberately trying to be mean, because I don’t think that they are the kind of people who would be mean just for the fun of it.

Story One:

Melody Davis

A few months ago I wrote an email to Melody Davis. I never got a reply. A couple weeks later in church, I asked her about it. She told me that she never had time to reply to people’s emails. Within the next few days sometime, I got a message from Chrissy Davis that she sent to everyone. I also got a message from Melody. The message from Melody was a reply to Chrissy’s letter, which Melody replied to the same day that Chrissy wrote hers. Melody said she doesn’t have time, yet she can respond to other people’s letters the same day? And also, Kyle Gray had been telling me that he gets emails from her all the time. Why was she doing this to me? I’ll never know. I wonder sometimes, but can’t come up with any solutions.

Story Two:

Kyle Gray

Kyle was a senior this past year. He has been my best friend since church camp in 1999, almost two years ago. In the past few months, he has been becoming increasingly popular with certain people, and know he has this whole group of people who hang around him who include: Melody Davis, Cassie Bradshaw, Genny Spence, Tiffany Gray, Diana Meyer, sometimes Heather and Jennifer Pfrimmer, and Steven Hunter. My brother and I also hang around him too, but I am like the outcast of the group. I am just “there”. Kyle doesn’t talk to me much, he is always talking with the girls. Everything revolves around Kyle Gray. They all want to be with him all the time and it is sickening. He is in college now, but he comes and sits in the high school section because the girls think he is so cool and they all want him to sit with them. At least one of the girls that I know of has a major crush on him, and that’s Cassie. She won’t admit it though. She always has to go with him if the group goes anywhere, and she always sits right beside. She makes sure that she is with Kyle every second that she can be. I think Kyle’s new-found popularity has gone to his head, and that is why he is a jerk to me. He is always cutting me down and telling me how gay and stupid and what an idiot I am and how I can never act like a normal person. I never did anything to him. He is just being a jerk. Sometimes though, he'll act cool. I don't know what is going on.

Story Three:

Cassie Bradshaw

Cassie has been pretty mean to me too. I won’t go into the details, but she is almost always rude to me. Just out of nowhere she will say something mean to me for no reason. I never did anything to her, I am always nice. I even give her rides if she asks. When she is nice to me, she wants something, like a ride. It seems like she is just using me.

Story Four:

Me

I feel like an outcast. People don’t want to be around me. People that I wish were my friends won’t be my friends. I think it is that I am not popular enough. I am in such a state of misery right now that I am about to just start crying. The worst part about it is that the only thing that can help, for some certain people to just be my friends and hang out with me and do things with me and not be jerks, is not going to happen, and I can’t make it. I am just trying to figure out why God is allowing this to happen to me. Now, if you think that this is sad, you should read my journal that I keep of all our church trips. It is truly depressing. And also so is my poetry.

Well, those are the stories for right now.