15 Things You Don't Want To Hear When Lying On The Operating Table

"What's this doing here?"

"Darn, there go the lights again..."

"Oh no! I just lost my Rolex."

"Boo! Boo! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!"

"Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop"

"Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie."

"Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?"

"I didn't hear anything in med school about small, hissing reptilian creatures crawling through the patient's stomach..."

"OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature."

"Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em."

"Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy."

"Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

"Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?"

"Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off"

"What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!"