Bumper Stickers

• So many stupid people... so few comets.
• Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
• All generalizations are false, including this one.
• Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
• I brake for no apparent reason.
• I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
• Forget about World Peace...visualize using your turn signal.
• We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• Careful. We don't want to learn from this. -- Calvin
• A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.
• Computers don't make errors,  people make errors.
• There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
• Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
• Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.
• Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
• I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
• Did anyone see my lost carrier?
• COINCIDENCE happens.
• Bad knee, gotta run - Pat Buchanan to his draft board.
• Beam me aboard, Scotty..... Sure. Will a 2x4 do?
• Build a watch in 179 easy steps - by C. Forsberg.
• Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
• It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
• C++ should have been called B-
• Just say NO to Bill Clinton, character does matter!
• Energizer Bunny Arrested! Charged with battery.
• 640K ought to be enough for anybody. - Bill Gates '81.
• Auntie Em, hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. -Dorothy.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
• Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
• I love cats...they taste like chicken.
• Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
• Forget the Joneses, try to keep up with the Simpsons.
• Criminal Lawyer is a redundancy.
• Artificial Intelligence can't beat real stupidity.
• Double your drive space - delete Windows!
• Save the whales, collect the whole set.
• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
• I wont rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
• Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
• What is a free gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
• A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
• Apple copyright 6024 b.c., Adam & Eve.
• Apple copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.
• Born free...Taxed to death.
• When there's a will, I want to be in it.
• The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
• 90% of all statistics are made up.
• Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
• A man needs a good memory after he has lied.
• I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
• Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
• A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
• Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
• Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
• Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
• I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
• Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
• If you don't like the news, go out and make some.
• No radio - Already stolen.
• Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
• I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
• Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check?
• Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
• I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
• I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
• Tell me to 'stuff it' - I'm a taxidermist.
• Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
• I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
• Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all of its students.
• It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
• According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
• Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
• Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
• Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
• How can I miss you if you won't go away?
• Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
• Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
• A man without a women is like a neck without a pain.
• The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
• We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
• Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
• I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
• Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
• Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
• Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
• Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
• Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes.
• Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
• I souport publik edjakashun.
• Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
• There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
• Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
• Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
• Keep honking...I'm reloading.
• Caution: I drive like you do.
• My kid beat up your honor student!
• So many cats, so few recipes.