40 Things To Do When Bowling

  1. Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
  2. Whenever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
  3. Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
  4. Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
  5. Wear Golf Shoes.
  6. Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
  7. Dress up like an Amish man. Give speeches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
  8. Play bocci with extra lane balls.
  9. Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again.
  10. Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
  11. Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.....fish.
  12. Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
  13. Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
  14. Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.
  15. Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.
  16. Make your presence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.
  17. Root for the other team. Bring Banners.
  18. Make fun of your team. Bring Lettuce.
  19. Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen".
  20. Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments.
  21. Even if you miss totally --- At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE!!!
  22. Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
  23. Rent all the lanes, don't bowl.
  24. Rent all the shoes, eat them.
  25. UNderscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating.
  26. When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.
  27. If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics
  28. Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone.
  29. Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
  30. Super glue police whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town.
  31. Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night.
  32. Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an announcement, expound on the sins of bowling.
  33. Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night.
  34. Sit in your lane and heckle others with a Bullhorn.
  35. Bring a dartgun...Be inventive.
  36. Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
  37. Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice.
  38. Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Don't even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshe, 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe, 1st Prize: A coffee mug. Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave.
  39. Or cancel the whole thing.
  40. Hand out pamphlets on Patetechtonics.