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Quotes And Stuff

 

 

Nothing is more painful then realizing that she meant everything to you & you meant nothing to her. (Amen to that.)

Fat people are harder to kidnap.

You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you are all the same.

Sacred Cows make the best hamburgers. - Mark Twain

True prayer is to the father, through the son, and in the spirit. - Dr. Jerry Vines

If the going gets tough, fake an injury.

If you don't like the road you are walking, pave another one. -God's Little Instruction Book on Success

Eagles may sore, but weasels don't get sucked into airplane engines .- A smart guy

Confucius say "Don't kill fly with cannon ball." - Take a guess people

If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure. - Dan Quayle (past Vice President)

A liberal is a man too broadminded to take his own side in a quarrel. -Robert Frost

Ninety percent of the game is half mental. - Yogi Bear

I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy. - J. Curtis McKay

Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields

I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. - Ed Bluestone

A liberal is a conservative who's been arrested. A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. - George Bush

C is for cookie, it's good enough for me; oh cookie cookie cookie starts with C. - Cookie Monster

I couldn't remember when I had been so disappointed. Except perhaps the time I found out that M&Ms really do melt in your hand. - Peter Oakley

"Why yes, a bulletproof vest." - James Rodges, murderer, on his final request before the firing squad.

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. -Can you say Liberals?

Honk if you love Britney Spears, then drive your car into the nearest tree.

Never fight with an ugly person, they have nothing to loose.-I always wondered why I've never been in a fight!

If we Baptists were to have a pope, Adrian Rodgers would be it. -Jerry Falwell

Don't frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

A memory last forever. Never does it die. True friends stay together and never say good bye.

Everyone is entitled to a be stupid, but you are abusing that privilege.

For all you people who talk about me, thanks for making me the center of your world.
 
I can only please on person per day today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either.

Be more concerned about your character than your reputation because your character is who you are and your reputation is what others think of you.
 
Who's yo daddy?!

If you hate me, I love you too, it ain't my fault I'm cuter than you!
Imagine your life without me. Better, huh?

I don't swim in your toilet so don't pee in my pool.
 
There's no P in this ool.

Trying to be popular is not being your true self.

I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I am surrounded by angels, but I call them my best friends.
 
When in doubt, make stuff up.
 
As long as there are tests in school, there will be prayers in school.
 
Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle. -Plato

Enthusiasm is contagious. You could start an epidemic! 

Everyone has the ability to act Christian...  It's a totally different thing to live it.  -Patrick Martin
 
Life's too short to dance with ugly men  (or women in a man's case).
 
I like cats. They taste like chicken.
 
Women are proof that men can take a joke.
 
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
 
LOTTERY: A tax on people who are bad at math.
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
 
Few women admit their age, fewer men act it.
 
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
 
Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them.
 
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
 
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
 
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
 
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
 
There are 3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
 
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
 
Why be difficult, when, with a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
 
Life is too complicated in the morning.
 
All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it 
done.
 
Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.
 
Grow your own dope. Plant a man.
 
My karma ran over your dogma.
 
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.
 
If ignorance is bliss, then tourists are in a constant state of euphoria.
 
Hang up and drive.
 
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
 
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
 
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
 
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
 
I used to have an open mind but my brain kept falling out.