In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
  stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
  Hey everyone, check this out!!!!! Can you believe we are so dumb?
 
  1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."* (Gee, that's the
only
  time I have to work* on my hair)
 
  2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase* necessary.
  Details inside."* (Evidently, the shoplifter special)
 
  3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."* (And that
  would be how. . . ?)
 
  4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."* (But
  it's *just* a suggestion)
 
  5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on* bottom of box): "Do not turn
  upside down."* (Oops, too late!)
 
  6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
  (As night follows the day . . . .)
 
  7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."* (But
  wouldn't this save even more time?)
 
  8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
  machinery after taking this medication."* (We could do a lot to reduce
the
  rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds
with
  head-colds off those forklifts.)
 
  9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."* (One would hope)
 
  10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
  (As opposed to what?)
 
  11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."* (I
  gotta admit, I'm curious.)
 
  12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."* (NEWS FLASH)
 
  13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat
  nuts."* (Step 3: Fly Delta.)
 
  14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
enable
  you to fly."* (I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)
 
  15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands."
  (Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?...Good grief)
 
  16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food."*
(Hey
  Mom we're out of syrup! It's OK honey just grab the Palmolive!)
 
  17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control."
  (Oh please! Have you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a
little
  toothpaste?)
 
  18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before
  distributing in washing machine."* (Hey no more swimming in the washing
  machine kids.... Aww you mean we have to use the swimming pool?)