Capitulito XVI

The green, glowing numbers of the clock had been changing all night, but I couldn't figure out why.

Counting. Endlessly counting. Maybe the hours since Nick left? Since I’d started feeling cold and disoriented?

Nick had left plenty of times. For an hour. For a night. For a whole day. And he had always come back.

The minutes ticked by slowly, and my eyelids grew heavier with every second.

My eyes were burning with the tears that I would not let out. The tears that I could not let out.

That awful, horrible bastard.

Memories flashed back into my mind, and I could feel my whole body react.

What had the friend I’d been with that night said? You’re going to need a hug, Amber. You’re really going to need a hug.

Oh, it won’t be anything, I had assured her. Just for fun. I deserve a little fun, don’t I?

I bit my lip, almost scared and almost hopeful to draw blood.

Would the dripping of my blood, my life fluid, be enough to make him come back?

I remembered how amazingly good it felt when we were happy. How he had been so eager to please me, to protect me.

Amber, take my jacket.

I’m not cold, thanks.

You will be as soon as you walk outside. Please, just take it, His voice told me that he was the only person I would ever need for the rest of my life. That no matter what happened, he would be watching over me.

This caused a knot in my throat and my mouth to go dry.

Was he even thinking about these moments the way I was forced to? Like Tantalus in Greek Myths, forced to look at food and water for eternity, but never allowed to eat or drink.

Nick had become my food and water. And, like Tantalus, there was no way out unless I got my food and water and was able to turn my lips away from them.