Capitulito XIV

Not doing the whole parent thing was another sore spot in Nick and my relationship.

Both of my parents lived in Northern California, which, excluding San Francisco and Monterey, wasn’t much of anything.

It was the exact opposite of what you think California is, with cold depressing beaches and miles of redwood trees, it wasn’t about glossy models and glamorous stars.

It was a nice place to grow up, don’t get me wrong, but I always wanted more.

Can you see why I moved to Florida the second I got out of high school?

Nick’s family lived in Southern California. A huge house in Malibu where his mother could sunbathe in December.

My parents had never met his.

I had never met them, either.

And he had never met mine.

To tell the truth, both Nick and I were so sick of California that we hadn’t even considered going out there to see them. And my mother was a teacher, and didn’t really have the time or money to come out to see us. My father wouldn’t come without my mother.

But I never understood why his parents didn’t seem interested in meeting me. It gave me that feeling that I always got from the Boys, that I was just the flavor of the week.

Nick explained to me many times that his parents didn’t come to visit him often because whenever they did they would get in huge, terrible fights. They learned that when they were in either party’s turf someone would cross the line and it would be bad. They visited in a hotel or a coffee shop or in a business meeting. Period.

But there was always that inexplicable need to know my boyfriend’s parents. To have tea with the woman who could one day be my mother-in-law. Have uncomfortable chats with the man who could one day be my child’s grandfather.

I could never tell Nick, of course, so I left it up to him to decide when I was going to meet his family.

And it kind of just ate away at me, I guess. I took it too personally, like his parents didn’t want to meet me, and after a while I started to believe it.

Had Nick even told his parents about me? Did he really love me? Or was just the sex?

Just the sex was a fear I had all the time with Nick. I loved him, and I knew he loved me, but there was always that last lingering doubt.

And a few times I would wake up in the middle of the night, in a cold sweat, completely panicked.

Was it just the sex for me too?

And I felt the only way I could answer this question would be to meet his parents.

Putting up with the in-laws always spoke to me as the true test of love.