Chapter Twelve

The last shades of sunlight are quickly fading into the sky lightly dusted with the early hints of stars.

I can’t see the road or the scenery around us. All I know is that we’re in one of the Carolinas and the sky is clear and beautiful.

I’m lying on my side in the back seat of my car, while Nick sits dutifully behind the wheel, for what seems like the millionth hour of our trip.

Nick has been amazingly quiet all day. His silent moodiness is not something I’m unaccustomed to, but I’m incredibly disappointed he chose today, probably because there’s no where I can go to avoid it.

The radio is playing dully and repetitively, the radio station of Nick’s choice being the local light rock and jazz “Central.”

Nick’s not singing or humming or even tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.

No matter how many times he’s shaken his head or mumbled I’m okay’s, I know this has everything to do with the Backstreet press release made earlier today.

I can’t blame him. I would feel the same way, except I doubt that I would have had the guts to do anything that Nick has done.

My fingers run up and down the straps of my worn day pack, which is laying on the floor behind Nick’s chair. In the hazy glow of whatever’s left of daylight I can see a few of the possessions I carry inside it.

My wallet and check book, lip gloss and hand lotion, the novel I’m currently reading, a blank notebook, a map of each state we’ll be visiting, and of course Nick’s small shiny cell phone.

It’s sitting there so innocently, the silver plastic cool to the touch, and after checking that Nick’s eyes are firmly on the road, I gently pull it out.

Just holding the thing makes my heart beat rapidly, and I wonder if this is how the guy in A Tell Tale Heart felt, though I’m pretty sure Edgar Allen Poe never had a temperamental pop star for a boyfriend.

I flip the cell phone open with ease, and run my fingertips along the tiny buttons, pausing momentarily over the power button.

But it would be virtual suicide to turn the phone on now, not knowing whether it would make some horrible cell phone sound, so I just hold it in my palm.

“I’m gonna get a coke, do you want something?”

I’m startled by Nick’s voice, and the fact that we’re parked in front of a gas station. I quickly close my fingers around the phone, and shake my head. Nick smiles faintly and climbs out of the car.

In the light provided by the building in front of me, I again turn my attention back to the phone in my hand.

I see Nick through the window wandering the candy aisle, and turn back to the phone.

It’s like the power button is crying out to me, as corny as it sounds, and my heart is still doing the Tell Tale Heart thing.

My index finger extends to rest on the button, and I close my eyes as I push it. The phone makes a small beep and I jump.

32 New Messages

The number bounces across the small screen, and I know who all those messages are from.

I’m not the type of girl who would listen to her boyfriend’s messages, and I refuse to become that girl, so my mind stays far away from the play messages option, but I can’t help thinking what all the messages say.

Nick, we’re worried about you, buddy, please just call.

Nick, everyone really misses you.

Nick, when are you coming home?

I feel so guilty for putting them all through this. It’s not their fault.

But it’s not my fault either.

“I got you some Red Vines, Amber,” Nick peeks in through my open window. I quickly throw my fingers around the phone again. Nick doesn’t seem to notice. “I know you said you didn’t want anything, but we’ll be driving for another couple hours, so I figured you could at least hold on to these for later.”

“Thanks Nick.”

I can tell he’s really trying, and that makes the silent treatment he’s given me all day fade from my memory.

“Why don’t you come sit in the front with me?” He smiles at me, before leaning in and kissing me.

“Sure, just a sec.” I slowly pull off my seat belt, and when Nick turns around I throw the phone back in the back pack.

“Come on, Amber, or I’ll drive away without you.”

“Nickolas, you would never drive away without me.”