Tyra: (for lack of better name) Welcome to the universe of XS. You are about to witness the latest scientific works brought to you by XS Tech, the galaxy's leader in innovative high technology. But first, let me share with you the fascinating story of our company. We began many galactic years ago on a world quite distant from your own. From one small manufacturing plant, we've grown into the largest consumer oriented research and development company in the universe. XS Tech is number one in Electro-Robotics, Cryo-Cybernetics, Techno-Surveillance, Planetary Restructuring, genetic engineering, and Hyper-spacial Transport. Here at XS, helping others seize has always been our goal. It's a tradition handed down from our founders, and carried on by our current chairman, L.C. Clench.
Clench: We were, of course, extremely enthused when our market research probe discovered the Earth. A world with so many eager customers is always worth our greatest effort.
Tyra: And for todays demonstration, thousands of skilled XS engineers have worked round the clock. We think you'll find our hard work we'll worth your while. After all....
Clench: ...if something can't be done with XS then it shouldn't be done at all. Now, I know some critics have implied that we are interested in the Earth soley for commercial reason, for profit. but I believe we have an important obligation to help less fortunate planets upgrade their technology, profit is simply a biproduct we've learned to live with. So, join with me now, won't you? And together we will seize the future with XS!
(The video ends and you are taken to another room which faces two tubes, one empty, one with a cute alien named Skippy. Between them is a robot which for now is not on.)
Tyra: And now, for a look at living life with XS, here once again is Chairman Clench.
Clench: By now you must be wondering how XS Tech can help you seize the future. Well wonder no more. Here to show you how is our most advanced cyber-biotic performance unit to date.
SIR: (the robot comes to life)Ah, welcome weary travelers to the great big universe of XS. You may call me SIR, that is S-I-R, which stands for Simulated Intelligence Robotics. (Skippy begins speaking) What do you want Skippy!?!
Skippy: (slightly unintelligable) I wanna get out.
SIR: No you may not get out. You're our, lucky volunteer! (Skippy groans) Now dear friends, you're probably asking, 'what could the galaxy's leader in sophisticated technology possibly do for me?'. Well, how would you like to travel anywhere, anytime, at the touch of a button. Science fiction? No! Behold the XS Series 1000. The first in a complete line of personal and commercial teleportation systems. Capable of sending bright-eyed biological life forms like yourselves, and even lower life forms like Skippy, from one place to another instantly. In a moment, I will break down our fuzzy little friend into a mass of molecules, send those molecules through the air above your heads, and reconstruct them in the tube over here as good as new. And now, witness for yourselves the wonders of XS teleportation! Phase one of the process has begun; desintegration into molecular components. Don't worry, it's practically painless. (Skippy is now gone) And now the second phase; the molecules are beamed to the recieving chamber where atom by atom we reconstruct our care free traveler. (Skippy has appeared in the other tube, visibly burnt, eyes rolling around and glowing) And heres the little skipper now. Don't worry Scruffy, you're not burned, you've just got a healthy glow. (Skippy yells and shakes his fist) Skippy you....you've just reminded me of a feature that I absolutely love. With a mere touch of a button, the entire process can be reversed. Bon voyage. (Skippy disapears again) And heres my favorite, it can be suspended....indefinately(Skippy's screams soften and vanish, as if flying off). My dear friends, you've just witnessed a small sample of the awesome power of XS teleportation. But wait! There's much more. Imagine if the trip were not merely the width of this room but the breadth of a galaxy, the span of a universe. Well imagine no more. Because soon one of you will be taking that trip. One of you will seize the future with XS! Bon Voyage!
Announcer: XS Tech assures that every seat in this chamber provides an excellent view for the demonstration. Please select a row quickly, continue to the end of that row, and take your seat! Your compliance is expected, thank you. Attention! Our biological sensors have detected an innapropriate seating pattern. Stand and move all the way to the end of your row. And we mean NOW! Thank you. All seats to your left and right provide excellent viewing. Please select a row at once. Act quickly, and procede all the way to the end of that row. Remember, the future waits for no one, not even you. Attention earthlings, for the success of our demonstration, we insist you remain upright. Keep your arms by your side, with your feet firmly planted on the floor. XS regulations require all life forms be properly seated, or the demonstration will be terminated. Thank you for your submission.
(The screens on the wall come to life with two aliens, Spinlock and Dr. Femus, arguing.)
Dr. Femus: ...did you see how.....
Spinlock: ...no more tests, we're about to go live. We can't have any......
Dr. Femus: Our other transmissions did not cover this kind of distance. Again you are putting sales before science!
Spinlock: Exactly, someone's got to be a role model. (Femus nods to the camera) What? Ahh, people of Earth. Greetings, to each and every one of you. I am Spinlock, XS management supervisor, speaking to you live from across the galaxy, where we're all set for yet another spectacular demonstration. Dr. Femus....
Dr. Femus: Hello. Look, I don't think we should....
Spinlock: (interupts her) We should waste another moment. I couldn't agree with you more. Ready when you are Doctor.
Dr. Femus: (sarcastically)Thank you. The analysis modules above your head will now lower into place. Please remain seated in an upright position with your arms at your sides. When the modules touch your shoulders they will stop automatically. So, remain seated and do not interupt their operation. (The shoulder harnesses have now locked into place on the people.)
Spinlock: I trust you were all impressed with our earlier demonstration, in which a living creature was teleported a short distance in total comfort. Now the time has come for one of you to experience something much more remarkable. A journey through interstellar space via XS teleportation. Dr. Femus will now analyze your human physiology to determine which one of you is suitable for our demonstartion.
Dr. Femus: Data link online, analyzing now. This one might be apt, but we're gonna have to boost the IQ, there's alot of...
Spinlock: And we've got our lucky traveler to whisk across the galaxy. In just a moment, the analysis modules will rise. Please.....(Yelling is heard in the distance)
Clench: I don't care! Step aside. (mutters something) Ah, Spinlock.
Spinlock: Chairman Clench.
Clench: So, is everything on schedule?
Dr. Femus: Well to tell you the truth sir....
Spinlock: (interupts again) We're ahead of schedule!
Spinlock: We've just selected a volunteer.
Clench: It's off.
Dr. Femus: Oh good.
Clench: I've been seized.
Spinlock: Something you ate sir?
Clench: Seized with inspiration. A new idea.
Dr. Femus: (sarcastically) Oh terrific.
Clench: We're live, right?
Spinlock: Yes, very.
Clench: Hello everyone. I've recalculated our plan. You see, if, if we bring one of you here, well, I just get to meet one of you. However, if I am teleported to Earth, I can meet all of you. Shake each hand and personally answer all your questions about the wonders of XS. I'll be with you in just a moment. Prepare yourselves for an unforgetable, encounter.
Spinlock: Uh, sir, I doubt that the..uh....
Clench: Ah, Remember Spinlock, doubt is the rust of a feeble mind. The only way to seize the future is to grasp the present. Let's Go! (Clench gets in the tube)
Spinlock: Grasp the present. Yes, well, the chairman certainly has a way with words. What do you say Dr. Femus, shall we grasp?
Dr. Femus: Yah grasp, right. But first I have to totally recalibrate the ......
Clench: Come on! Seize! Grasp!
Spinlock: Okay, Doctor!
Dr. Femus: I am going as fast as I can!
Spinlock: Yes sir. Dr. Femus!
Dr. Femus: WHAT!?
Spinlock: Must I do everything!?! (Spinlock pulls a lever)
Dr. Femus: Don't! Don't! I didn't lock the trajectory! We're not .........
Spinlock: I didn't know! (Clench screams begin loud and then fade) Now what's happened?
Dr. Femus: Another planet, in our transmission path. It must have intercepted the signal.
Dr. Femus: But wait, wait..I've got something.
Spinlock: Boost the power and send it to Earth.
Dr. Femus: Well what if it's not him?
Spinlock: Of course it's him, send him to Earth! (A large form appears in the clouded tube)Ladies and gentlemen, live and in person, Chairman Clench.
Dr. Femus: Uh, Spinlock, since when does Clench have wings?
Spinlock: Wings? ( A loud roar errupts as the smoke clears inside the tube) It's an alien!
Backround voice It's my Mother-in-Law!
Dr. Femus: Analyzing now!
Spinlock: Well, what is it?
Dr. Femus: Okay let's see. Ornitheus, carnivorous....
Spinlock: Carnivorous? It eats meat?
Dr. Femus: Exactly genius! Those people are in alot of danger. ( A pounding sound is heard)
Spinlock: Now what's happened?
Dr. Femus: The teleportation tube is starting to break!
Spinlock: But it's unbreakable! (The lights go out and the sound of shattering glass fills the room with a gust of wind) It broke the tube!
Dr. Femus: We cannot let it get out!
Spinlock: Activate the forcefield!
Dr. Femus: Activating now! (Light beams surround the alien)
Spinlock: People of Earth, do not worry. As long as those beams are on, the alien cannot fly out. (Suddenly all the lights go out, including the beams. Loud footsteps are heard jumping around the room and the harnesses push down as something lands on you) It's out, the alien flew out. Get it back in the tube, before it eats someone.
Dr. Femus: I can't. We just lost power.
Spinlock: Well get someone in there and fix it!
Maintanance: Hello, hey! Hello! Is everybody alright down there? ( A light and lit helmet appear on a catwalk above) XS Lab, this is maintanance 1. We've got major damage, what's going on in here?
Spinlock: Just a blackout. Find the auxiliary power switch.
Maintanance: No problem.
Dr. Femus: You can find it at the end of the first bridge to your left.
Maintanance: Roger, already there. What in the world? XS, did you here that?
Spinlock: Nevermind! Just find the switch.
Dr. Femus: Good job, we got the signal from your night vision camera. (the screens light up with the camera view)
Spinlock: Now show us the people down n the chamber.
Maintanance: Is something wrong?
Spinlock: No, we just need to make sure that they're alright.
Maintanance: No problem. Uh, folks, there's nothing to be afraid of. I'll have this puppy up and running in a flash. Now where's that hatch?
Dr. Femus: Right behind you.
Maintanance: Roger, I've got it. Whoa, what in the universe could have done this.
Dr. Femus: Maintanance one, come in! Can you see the problem?
Maintanance: (into the view of the camera comes the alien, bearing teeth and claws outstretched) I, can see the problem. Oh boy.......(the mouth comes down on the man and all goes dark again. Blood pours down on the people. The alien begins running around again)
Spinlock: People of Earth, quiet! Listen to me please! Don't scream! If you remain perfectly quiet, it probably won't eat you. No, no! I told you to be quiet! (The alien jumps on your back and breaths on your neck. It then licks you with a snake like tongue. A flash of light sparks from the tube)
Dr. Femus: Spinlock! We've got power.
Spinlock: Good, how do we get it back to the tube?
Dr. Femus: Just leave it to me. Tube speakers activated.....screaming now. (Dr. Femus screams and it echoes through the tube. The alien steps on you once more as it heads toward the sound of its new prey.) It's back in the tube!
Spinlock: Boost the power, hurry! Good work. More power!(The creature begins to spark)
Dr. Femus: The creature is about to explode!
Spinlock: Drop the shield! (The shield comes down, but not in time to stop the explosion of the alien which sprays everyone. The screens take a moment to flicker back on.) Well, you see, there you have it. A little glitch here and there, but I think you get the idea, the potential of XS technology, and all of that. We certainly apologize for the inconvinience, but after all....
Dr. Femus: It does take time to seize the future.
Dr. Femus: Thank you so much for coming. Please exit out the open doors and don't forget your belngings.
Spinlock: The ones who haven't been eaten. Good luck and good eating.
Dr. Femus: Thank you.