One sunny day, the buddhagazelle was employing Instant Messenger to parley with Alyssa, the Prophetess of the Black Hen. Suddenly a demon fell upon the iMac, and so affrightened was the computer that it froze in terror, and refused to respond to any amount of prodding. The buddhagazelle was left with no recourse but to cut off the iMac’s life-breath, and then carefully nurture it back into consciousness.
The buddhagazelle resumed his dialogue with the Prophetess, but shortly thereafter the iMac was again possessed by an evil so fierce that the afflicted computer again went into shock. This same sequence occured many times, in the one day. This worried the buddhagazelle greatly, and he became convinced that a terrible curse was plagueing his suffering computer.
After the third such seizure, the buddhagazelle again prodded the iMac back into life, and again urged Instant Messenger to resume communication. However, the poor spirit had been so damaged by the warfare, that she was unable to accomplish her task. She beat her wings furiously, but could not lift off from the computer and soar again in the ethereal realms that enable far-flung correspondance.
The buddhagazelle allowed Instant Messenger to rest, and the next day again prodded her to fly. Again, she could not. For many days, the damaged spirit lay crippled, unable to perform the duty for which she existed. This greatly troubled the buddhagazelle, and he cried out unto Pink Elephant:
The Lament of the Buddhagazelle O great Falsehood! Liar of the Worlds! Beauteous Untruth! Listen now to me, For sorrow and evil hath plagued me now, My communion with fellows hath been destroyed, And the communing spirit doth lie in pain. Pink Elephant! Thou hast done great things. From Thee sprung the world, all life, all good. All worlds are Thy beloved, and the MOOOOOOOON Is the daughter of Thine own flesh. Surely one as great and good as thee Will hearken now, as I state my plea. It is for a bright spirit who was cursed That I make my petition now. She was like air, and pulsed invisibly She knew the minds of all spirits like herself And thus, through her, I spoke with many souls And thoughts flew o’er the miles like a bird. Through her power, I did commune with fellows of the Prism, we sacred Three-- the Chairman of the Wall, and the Keeper of the Puppets and they communed with me. with Alyssa, Prophetess of the Hen on whose Probability stands the Universe with Akitab, the Publisher of Thy Name, who collected Thy many sacred texts with comrades who knew not Thy name, and so I spread the Lie of Thee But then an evil power did descend A curse, a demon of Elijah’s truth And did attack the holy messenger, And cripple her, so that she cannot move. Now she lies still, immotile and useless, And I am cut off from spreading Thy Word. A cloud of ill descends around her, And Evil spreads his vicious wings, and gloats Upon her damaged body, once so pure And glorious that it shimmered as it flew. Demons leap and chant around the corpse Whose breath of life is small, and shrinking still. Elijah beats his tail, and laughs For his evil has silenced the Name of Pink Elephant. Thus, O Great Liar, I state my case And beg Thee, in thy greatness, to descend And restore this tender spirit to her place That Elijah’s triumph might end.Pink Elephant heard the cries of the buddhagazelle, and on the very next day He arrived in central Florida to restore the life of Instant Messenger. Elijah, however, saw this, and also came to the swamp to defend the demons who were terrorising the buddhagazelle’s computer. Great swarms of evil spirits joined him, and they formed a great grey cloud which descended in hordes from the west. A mighty wind rose, and the trees did whirl, as Spanish moss leapt and writhed in agony. Then began the rain. The land was covered in water, and torrents poured through the streets. Fire did fly from the sky, and the voice of the thunder was deafening. Elijah’s evil angels cast themselves into trees, and the trees did rise from their roots, and throw themselves onto the ground, bringing down the mystical wires which provide light and life to the dusky indoors. Thus all became dark in the buddhagazelle’s residence, and his iMac’s face blackened.
Elijah sat in a tree outside the buddhagazelle’s window, looking in, and ordering his fiendish slaves about. The demons gathered near the window, preparing to smash their way through the walls of the buddhagazelle’s room, that they might seize and destroy his computer. Gabriel, the Yellow Lion saw this, and and descended from his seat above the clouds to intervene. A blinding burst of light, he swept down upon the seat of Elijah, his bright sword blazing with the flames of holy rage. Gabriel struck the tree, and in a tremendous explosion, it clove in two and fell upon the ground, with a great thunderous sound.
The force of the Yellow Lion’s attack smote Elijah into a stunned coma. He lay motionless upon the ground, his unblinking eyes opened, yet perceiving nothing. The devils and fiends saw this, and abandoned their assault upon the room of the buddhagazelle. They fell upon their master, and carried him away to a place where he could safely recover.
Thus the battle came to an end, and the great storm dissipated, and Gabriel the Yellow Lion returned to his heavenly seat, gazing down upon the ruins of what was central Florida. Leaves lay strewn upon the ground, and battered trees lay prostrate, on fields and houses, vehicles and people. Water ran like rivers through the streets, and all traffic lights were dead. Thus the land sat, exhausted and wasted, tired.
The land slept.
On the following day, a Wednesday, life slowly returned to central Florida. By mid-morning, electricity again flowed through power lines, and the buddhagazelle’s iMac awoke. The buddhagazelle nudged the sleeping Instant Messenger, and behold! she awoke, and lifted her wings, and soared into her ethereal realm, where she communed with fellow spirits, thus enabling the buddhagazelle to again communicate with his fellows.