Deep in upstate New York off the main highway, away from the major roads on a scarcely traveled road near a small mountain a battered old jeep is parked on the side of the road. Its owner has decided to take a hike, literally up the mountain. Dressed only in a pair of old jeans and a pair of boots Logan charges hard up the mountain, paying no attention to the rain or the mud, which has turned his faded blue jeans a shade of brown. He is letting the animal inside guide him, following the scent train of some deer, he moves quickly and quietly between trees and undergrowth, he races. This is how he was meant to live his life, by the rules of nature, not by the rules of mankind. Reaching the end of the tree line he is confronted by a large sheer rock face. Three metallic claws spring from each hand, he plunges them into the rock face and begins scaling the cliff.

With movements that seem effortless he plunges one set of claws into the cliff side after another, moving upwards and adjusting his angles to find the least resistant path to the top. If there were any onlookers present they would be witnessing a feat many would believe impossible. The ease and speed that he was scaling the cliff, without safety equipment, in the rain was awe-inspiring. Within a half hour he had reached the top, instead of being filled with joy for the feat he had just performed, Logan simply sat down on a nearby rock; he is lost in thought almost immediately.

His mind raced. It didn’t matter what had caused last night to happen. He could blame the beer, he could tell himself that he had taken advantage of her, he could even tell himself that it had been her idea. None of that changed the fact that it had occurred. Should he return? Go back to mansion and listen to her break his heart again, or should he stay here, in the wilderness where no one would judge him. No one would judge him except himself, and he couldn’t live with the idea of hurting Jean by doing something so selfish as never going back. He needed to face her, to gaze at her beauty, more than anything else he needed to talk to his closest friend. What could he say to her? How could he say it? How could he face Scott, they had never been best friends, but their was a mutual respect between the two, and he undoubtedly violated the trust the two had struggled for so long to build. He sat perched on the rock rain cascading over his body, he stared out over the valley. Suddenly he rose and headed to a small path for hikers, the path went down the mountain, and he went with the path.

Xavier’s mansion, Jean sat in the rec-room continuing her vigil of the driveway, curled up on the couch she rested her chin on her left arm which rested on the back of large overstuffed couch. She wore a pair of Adidas warm-up pants, and a T-shirt with the emblem of Xavier’s on the chest. She looked out upon the front of the campus, at the puddles that had formed, how each ensuing raindrop affected the puddle changing its surface, its shape. She saw how the sky still refused to relent its assault of rain. Somehow the entire environment struck her as fitting, it was dark, drab and damp outside. In her thoughts she felt dark and drab, angry and mournful over Logan leaving. She would give anything to see his jeep speed up the driveway, as the day wore on, she doubted that it would happen.

She wondered if he would return at all. Logan had always been a man of principle, a man who lived by his own code of conduct, she was worried if he felt he violated that code. Jean wondered what she could say to him, she knew what he would love to hear her say, THOSE three words. But she didn’t know if she could say them with full honesty behind them. Equally troubling was the thought that she may be able to say them, and if so, what could she tell Scott. Scott, she had loved him all her life, and even now it pained her not knowing where he was, knowing he was trapped with that monster. She knew no matter what, Scott would be hurt by what she had done; she would never be able to rationalize what she had done to him. She also knew that Logan was agonizing over this very thing himself. She knew she was caught between a rock and a hard place, that everyone involved would be hurt in some way, but she knew she didn’t want to lose either of the two.

Salem Center

It was late at Xavier’s school Jean had fallen asleep long ago, sitting in an overstuffed chair in the back of the mansion looking out onto the Lake. The Professor had covered her with a blanket before retiring to bed himself. Shaking his head as he left.

Jean was jolted to reality by a clap of thunder; she started to stand when she noticed she was not alone in the room anymore, he had come back. A small window off to her right was open; she could hear the rain outside. Looking towards the window as a flash of lightning lit the room, she saw him. Perched in the windowsill was the frame of a man she could never forget, his broad shoulders his thick frame.

“Hiya Darlin.” He said simply.

“Hi Logan.” She said with a smile.

“Think we should have that talk now. Care to join me on the dock.” He said grimly.

“Why outside in all this? Why not here?” Jean asked.

“What I say, I want to be between you and me, and this place has too many ears, even if the Prof is asleep.” He said in a dour tone.

“Alright, just let me grab a coat.” Jean replied, noticing that Logan was soaked, barefoot, and his Jeans were caked with mud.

“Meet ya down there.” Logan stated, as a flash of lighting lit the room again, and like that he was gone, off into the storm.

Jean quickly threw on a coat and headed out the backdoor, she scanned for Logan’s thoughts by instinct and realized that he was shielding them as best as he could, from her, from the professor, from everyone, whatever he wanted to say he wanted to say it himself. Looking about the grounds as lighting flashed Jean could not locate his form anywhere; she was always amazed how he could do this, move about without anyone knowing. As she trudged through the sodden ground her mind reeled, what was she going to say, what was he going to say? As she approached the boathouse she could see down onto the dock, and there on the end she could barely make out his from crouched on the end the rainwater flowing over his body. As she walked down the dock she could see him more clearly, his jeans were soaked and had remnants of old mud mixed with new mud, his hair usually arching up into two distinctive points was matted down by the rain and he was barefoot. She approached slowly feeling as if she was approaching a wild animal.

“Jeanie, we gotta talk, right now.” He whispered.

“I know Logan, that’s why I came down here, but why all the secrecy? And why are you covered in what looks like mud.” She asked in a concerned fashion.

“Jean, I want to say something before we go any further, just listen to me, from there we can move on if we have to.” Logan said, raising up on his two feet and facing her.

“Ok, I will.” Jean responded.

“Jean darlin, I just wanna say one thing first.” He stated lifting his head and moving towards Jean. “I Love you. Always have probably always will. There ain’t no changing that. But more that anything else I respect you, I respect you more than anyone I know, more than Chuck, Ro, Rouge, Kitty, Jubes. More than that I trust you more than anyone I know. You have never tired to change me, you just accepted me for who I am. But what all this means Jean…” He paused looking deep into her Emerald eyes “is that when you say you believe Scott is alive, I have to trust you.”

Jean’s breath caught, she looked at him, and even without her telepathy she had an idea of what he was about to say.

“I can’t betray your trust, and the trust of Scott’s. I can’t compromise my morals, even if it means losing you.” He said taking her hand. “When I woke up early that morning and saw you in bed, I have never been so happy in my life, it was as if all my dreams had come true. But then I saw a picture of Scott, and I realized that I could never be with you again, because you love him, not Me.” He whispered to her. “I never would hurt you darlin, and that’s why I’m leaving, cause when Scott gets back her, you looking at me is gonna be painful, and I can’t bear that.”

Jean’s legs gave out from below her and she fell to her knees tears flowing from her eyes. Logan grabbed her and their eyes met; Jean began to speak forcing it out of her mouth.

“Logan, when we were together I felt something I have only felt once before…”

“With Scott.” He injected, cutting her off.

“You are my best friend Logan, my best friend. Like you said you trust me, you respect me…well I trust you, I respect you more than anyone else, including the professor.” She stammered out. “ I don’t know what exactly what I am going to do about…about us. But I do know that losing you and Scott Is more than I could bear.”

Logan stood and began to walk down the dock. Jean forced herself up, and turned to face the departing man.

“Logan, GOD DAMMIT!! STOP!!” She screamed at him. “You bastard, you said you would never want to hurt me…well you leaving, leaving here, leaving this team, these people, leaving me…well if you do that you will hurt me more deeply than you could imagine.” She stood tears flowing down her face.

Logan stopped where he stood, and dropped his head to his chest, his back still to Jean. The rain intensified, and flashes of lightning filled the sky. On the dock two figures could be seen standing on opposite ends.