"I'm so hardcore, I don't know what to do with myself."
~Rae
"Living with you would be like living with Larry the Cucumber."
~Laura to Jessy
[on AIM at 10:20pm]
Laura: And why aren't you in bed, young lady?
Paige: Um, THE BRITISH ARE COMING! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!
"If you fly out of here in a chariot drawn by snakes, we have a problem. I'm moving out."
~my roommate,
Lauren
"It's hard to be emotional when you feel like raw sewage."
~Dad, waking me up at 7:45am on the day we were to leave for Samford
"Get out of here and stop spreading your germs."
"They're not germs... they're Dad Love Beads."
~Me and Dad, who was sneazing in my room
"Aren't you glad we weren't triplets?"
~Paige
"Did you know that the dispute over Predestination is one of the largest and most common dividing factors amoung Christian dating couples today. That, and Elmo."
~Paige
"Your face is radiant above all life on earth. Your beauty is so wonderful that I can't look directly at you, kind of like the sun."
~Trey Owens
"A still life isn't a still life without a pear."
~Paige, about art
"I read somewhere that a boy isn't a man until he can reach into a sink and pull out the gunk in the drain. I told Rob that and he did it."
~Amber Sheldon
"You said 'Where's the mail?' and I said 'In the box.' And I was thinking to myself 'Where do you keep your mail?' and I could just hear you saying 'In a cage...'"
~Paige Ratzlaff to Laura. (If you don't get it, replace "mail" with "male." See it now? *g*)
Jessy: Idle words are nothing in the face of poetry.
Laura: There are no idle words, just idle actors.
"I love the song so much I might marry it." ~Cleo
[to Paige on Rachel's screen name]
Laura: Are you Paige?
Paige: Am I Paige? No, I'm Rea. I learned to type with my paws.
Paige: You chillen's have fun now, y'hear? The lady in the Happy Store talked like that, and her button said "You are the future." But I thought it said "We are the future," and I'm like, haha.
Paige: Well, he likes me :oP
Laura: Well, tell him you'll be here, and then come. We'll watch Empire Strikes Back.
Paige: Yah, um, no. Friends aren't friends if you have to bribe them with little sisters & old movies.
[After singing the "Sweet Home Alabama" line, "Lord I'm comin' home to you...]
Laura: See, that implies that God lives in Alabama!
Jessy: Or that you live in Alabama, and you're so tired you're about to die. All depends on your perspective...
"Tell her I brought her into this world; I can just as easily take her out!"
~Ms. Stacy, about Jessy who had blocked her on MSN
Jessy: Did I tell you that I filled out a job application and when it asked why they should hire me, my answer was entirely related to pineapple?
Laura: If you had to name one person who has influenced you more than anyone, who'd it be?
Chad: Ghandi!
"I'm not a nerd, I just play one on TV."
~Zack Owens
Laura: Man, our [Laura's and Zack's] families have some strange ties.
George: I have some strange ties in that closet over there.
[On MSN]
Laura: I can't believe she'll be 18. We're so old!
Ms. Stacy: Yes y'all are. But I've decided to get younger.
Laura: Good plan. Think it'll work?
Ms. Stacy: Yes. Googoo.
Laura: Good, teach my parents your trick.
Ms. Stacy: K. Maybe I should sell it! Multi-level market it!
"I am now going to eat this piece of cheese. If anybody has an objection, you can raise it at the next meeting." ~Fruit Cake
Paige: Anybody for a imitation English muffin? Wait, not imitation English, imitation muffin.
Laura: So, basically it's British, but you don't know what you're eating?
Paige: "Paige: "Understanding is a three-edged sword. Your view, their view, and the Truth." However, if you lose me at "three-edged sword," would it still qualify as understanding?
Michael: lol
Michael: I got it from a T.V. show"
Laura: Babylon 5
Paige: oh my gosh. Is there no sanity left in this world?
Laura: I speak the truth
Paige: so did the 2nd edge of the sword
Laura: *LOL*
Paige: 'scuse me, the 3rd edge
Paige: I didn't HEAR you laugh
Paige: *LOL*
Paige: oh my
Paige: I wish I could save that or something, but its like, not gonna show up on the transcript
TheFourthRat: wait *has an idea*
Laura: eh?
Paige: let the record show that after Shades 236 said "*LOL*" and TheFourthRat said "I didn't HEAR you laugh" that Laura proceeded to laugh audibly at a decible level loud enough for Paige to hear her from upstairs
Laura: *L*
Paige: "Paige: but sarcasm is fun when meant humorously
Michael: yah
Michael: but my sarcasm usually isn't humorous :-\
Paige: so really - all those times I thought we were playing - you were just insulting me without my knowing it?
Michael: lol, nah, but a few times I was getting mad
Paige: seriously? woops, didn't mean to tempt the fate of the dude that weilds the three-edged sword"
~Laura and Paige chatting and pasting
"Mom and dad believe words come true. *pause* In that case, PAIGE IS A MILLIONARE, PAIGE IS A MILLIONARE!" ~Paige Ratzlaff
"One small meal for mankind, one giant desert for me." ~George Ratzlaff
"Earth to Laura. HELLOOO!!! Goodmorning, this is your captain speaking." ~Paige, to Laura, who was spacing out
[on AIM]
Laura: How'd Chadwick's midterms go?
Chad's sister: I dunno. He didn't say. He would only talk in haiku.
[on AIM]
Laura: Still speaking in haiku?
Chad: please
c a
ll
me
e e cummings
"Closing and opening doors I understand, but barnyard sounds..."
~Dad, about hearing AIM making a mooing sound
"That doesn't sound like a full scale Lunging Laura versus Mighty Michael match."
~Jessica Smith
Jessy: He's doing the basic guy, attack-and-retreat move that they always do. It's just... a thing. Enjoy.
Laura: Enjoy!? This is not Coca-Cola!
Laura: I had some *good* chocolate today. I would, like, betray a country for that chocolate.
Paige: My kingdom, my kingdom for... Godiva.
[on MSN]
Dad: Hey . . . . are there any concerts coming up that we should go to?
Laura: What sort of concerts?
Dad: Birds chirping? I hear they put on a really really big shew!
[Note: that isn't a typo, it's a typed Ed Sullivan impersonation!]
[on AIM]
Laura: 'ave a good day, lad.
Michael: ok lass
Laura: y'be mockin' me now, do ye?
Michael: hush ya wee lass
"I thought you died! But I forgot to go up and check... Friends was on."
~Paige, about hearing Laura fall down upstairs
"I have boogie ability... you know that's the most important thing."
~Lawsuit pending
"I saw an infomercial the other day, so I ordered you some info."
~Gail Ratzlaff
Laura: His heart IS a rock.
Jessy: No it's not; he's just trying to get it buff so that no girl can bench press it.
"I think it's going to be fun. I get to see an old person play twister."
~Marc Gipson about going to his church's lock-in
Troy: My philosophy in life is that I can't prove that I exist, but I can't prove that you exist either.
Mrs. Graff: Sure, pinch me and I'll punch you.
"Erics are strange beings."
~Amber Sheldon
[On AIM]
Laura: *LOL*
Michael: Ahhhh, a two nosed cyclops!
[On AIM]
Michael: Anything for my Princess.
Laura: Oh? Anything?
Michael: Yep.
Laura: So... if I asked you to, say, come over tomorrow, when my family's here, and pose as my boyfriend, you'd do that?
Michael: I didn't say you were my Princess. *g*
"I told Jay I was going to eat his [Mickey Mouse cookie] ear, and she told me to check for waxy buildup!
That wasn't very appetizing."
~Jordan Smith
"It's like a pizza in a pizza!"
~Paige, finishing the commercial
[on AIM]
Eric: *grins* I have some of Dr. Brown's Naturally Flavored Black Cherry Soda (with other natural flavors).
Laura: And that makes you grin?
Eric: Oh... lots of things make me grin.
Laura: Like what?
Eric: Like Dr. Brown's Naturally Flavored Orange Soda!
[on AIM]
Laura: Ah, good call.
Jordan: Thankee. Maybe I should go into announcing.
Laura: *g*
Jordan: Or I can work for CNN and call presidents left and right.
[Paige, while putting stuffed animals in a bag]
"Okay, something just talked to me. Did you guys hear it?"
"Paige and I just figured out that I can do a Tony Clifton impersonation. That's like, one of those hidden talents you wish would stay hidden."
~Laura
Paige:[looking at a plastic pencil] Ohh!! So *PLASTIC* made it possible!!
Justinn: I'm reading a book for English, and the title totally reminds me of Jessy.
Laura: What is it?
Justinn: I Am The Cheese.
"Airhockey is NOT a sport. Or even a board game. It's a war."
~Eric Sharda
"This is what happens when I'm used to having so much insanity around me and then he leaves."
~Jessy, acting strangely after Eric has left
Justinn: My friend's an idiot.
Laura: Which one?
Justinn: No one you know, but not an idiot the way Eric is an idiot.
Amber: I have a friend named Danny and we've decided to forgo dating and marry one another so we can "flaunt our wealth in the eyes of the little people." *gryn*
[on AIM]
Amber: Bah.
Laura: Humbug.
Amber: Ebeneezer.
Laura: My friends just call me 'Neezer.
Amber: I simply call you odd.
"And we actually went real horse back riding, and the lady in charge of that was a freak. We didn't pick the horse, the horse picked us, and she's like, 'Ok, Jet.. this is Justinn.. is it ok if she rides on you? You seem to like her.' One horse turned me down."
~Justinn Gipson
Daniel: Hey!
Eric: My duck boy!
Justinn: Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy!!!
Michael: She's not coming.
Justinn: JORDAN!?!?!
Jordan: She's coming.
Justinn: Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy Jessy!!!!
Michael: She's not coming.
Justinn: JORDAN?!?!?!?!?!!!!
Jordan: She's coming.
"Whoa, he talks and doesn't turn blue!"
~Paige, about an AIM window not blinking
"He said, 'So how is Her Majesty?' You know, if he calls you that for the rest of your life... you'll lead a long, happy life."
~ Paggle
"What a day a day makes." ~George Ratzlaff
Laura: Hi normal person
Michael: Hi weird friend :-)
"They probably just hired a look-alike to look alike." ~Paggle Ratzlaff
"If you want then you could like pick someone out of the audience and pretend they are a cow passing by along the way."
~Jay Gipson
"I can read your eyelashes!"
~Justinn Gipson
"Wipe that grin off your face!"
~Paige to Derby, my cat
[On AIM]
Justinn: I want to go to Walmart.
Laura: Well go then.
Justinn: How?
Laura: Drive.
Justinn: Well I would, but air doesn't run well.
"Hold on - Grandpa." ~Jessy Smith
"You dream meanie!" ~Justinn Gipson
"Have you ever noticed how everyone looks like a mouse?" ~Eric Sharda
"The first thing we learned about Jupiter was there were no bathrooms." ~George Ratzlaff
"Eating an orange upside-down just doesn't have the appeal it used to. No pun intended." ~Jessy Smith
"AAAAAAAAAAAAA it's.. a COW!" ~Eric Sharda
"I had a weird dream last night about spaghetti." ~Justinn Gipson
Jessica: Sometimes I think I live in your head.
Laura: It's a scary place isn't it?
Jessica: Yes but there's so much room!
"UGH, I have wriiiter's block, I do NOT cope well with that particular disease. And it is a disease, yes, a horrid, horrid, deadly disease. It's killed many a good writer and their unsuspecting pen." ~Jessy Smith
[About Sign Language]
"It's like dancing with your hands, in a purely practical way." ~Ann Sharda
[After reading Edgar Allen Poe's "The Bells"]
"Yes, alas, yes alas, although oft his thoughts were crass, even now I can remember, as my school began September, and my own marm said indeed, even I would have to read, of Poe's Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells, Bells."
~George Ratzlaff
[On AIM]
Aaron: Hahahaha.
Laura: Don't laugh at me you nerd.
Aaron: I'm not a nerd you weirdo.
Laura: I am a weirdo you nerd.
"Topanga? They named somebody Topanga? I guess they wanted to make sure they didn't offend anyone with *real* names." ~George Ratzlaff
"Stand back. I'm a trained professional." ~Mark Broussard after dropping a spoon
[On AIM]
Laura: Jess thinks he suspects something.
Michael: ::rolls eyes:: Jess thinks people live
on mars, j/k
Laura: I think it's because she was born
there.
"If you hear a loud bang, hit the floor. Or hit the ceiling. Or hit me." ~Paige Ratzlaff
Jordan: I watch Star Trek every night.
Mike Z.: You mean it's a show?
[Chatting on AIM]
Laura: *snickers* would I do that?
Michael: :P yes
Laura: I wouldn't do something like that to the man
I love!
Michael: Yes, you just did :P
Laura: I didn't say you were the man I loved. :)
"There are other ways to look at cows." ~Eric Sharda
"There are two types of girls in this world: those who like the Backstreet Boys, and those who like NSYNC." ~Michael Kostelny
[Paige while watching an old Charlie Chan movie]
"Number One Son needs number one fist in number one face."
"I actually have two real pancakes under here... and one has an onion on it." ~Paige Ratzlaff
Paige: You talk to him 15 hours a day.
Laura: I'm not awake 15 hours a day.
Paige: Yeah but you dream about him, that counts.
Jordan: Here you go, Merry Christmas.
Laura: Is that a toenail?
Laura: Are you one of those people that moves their lips when they read?
Paige: Only when I read out loud.
"Somebody should put you out of my misery." ~Paige Ratzlaff
[On the phone]
Jessy: Can you tell when I'm thinking?
Laura: Yeah, it's when you're not talking.
"I think someone spiked your Dr. Pepper with ice water." ~Jessy Smith
"I'm going to sleep, perchance to dream. But first I'm going to the sink, to wash, perchance to clean." ~George Ratzlaff
Laura: Helping make dinner, don't go ANYWHERE!
Jessy: Where would I go, praytell?
Laura: Home to Mars.
"Strange is like, our deal." ~Laura Ratzlaff
"That's the problem with men today: They're all male." ~Jessy Smith
"Lost is great unless you want to know where you are." ~Eric Sharda
"I couldn't help myself. I just had to touch her nose." ~David Vail
"It is not who wears the hat now, but who's head lice inhabits it now, that makes the difference." ~Freda Merrimack [Eric Sharda]
"He has his own style of whatever you call that, doesn't he?" ~Laura
"There's Kosteleeni. Go mess with him!" ~Anne Richoux
"Laura, your eyes are dilated. What have you been smoking?" ~Justinn Gipson
"Get off, you freakish ghoul!" ~Jessy Smith, to a piece of tape stuck to her finger
Laura: Hey, Andrew, you wanna go to camp with me?
Andrew: Is that one of those camps where they lock you in a doghouse to see if you can get out?
[later] Chad: No, they just lock you in the kitchen.
"I think weird is my ministry." ~Jessy Smith
Paige: I think I'll just get a business degree.
Laura: And then what?
Paige: I'll take a nap.
~Laura
