JWL WrestleMania I

Live from the world's most famous arena, Madison Square Garden, New York, NY

To perform our National Anthem, please welcome, from Boston, Massachusetts, America's best unsigned band, LINCOLN CONSPIRACY!

"O say, can you see, by the dawn's early light,

What so proudly we hail'd at the twilight's last gleaming?

Whose broad stripes and bright stars, thro' the perilous fight,

O'er the ramparts we watch'd, were so gallantly streaming?

And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,

Gave proof thro' the night that our flag was still there.

O say, does that star-spangled banner yet wave

O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

(Video package covering the feud between the Dungeon of Doom and the Franchise Foundation, especially following Sid's debut on Episode 27.)

Opening Tag Team Match: The Yeti and The Giant (w/"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan)vs. Sid and "The Big Red Machine" Kane (w/"The Head Cheerleader" Francine)

LG: "The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall."

KABOOM!

("Snapped" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by 'The Head Cheerleader' Francine and representing the Franchise Foundation, from Anywhere he darn well pleases, weighing in at 325 lbs., SID! And his partner, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 330 lbs., 'THE BIG RED MACHINE' KANE!"

Crowd boos.

(The Dungeon of Doom's theme plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by 'The Taskmaster' Kevin Sullivan and representing the Dungeon of Doom, from the wilds of the Himalayas, weighing in at 440 lbs., THE YETI! And his partner, from Parts Unknown, weighing in at 450 lbs., THE GIANT!"

JR: "There are hosses. There are big bulls. And then you have these four men, who, by gawd, are just MONSTERS!"

Sid and Giant start. A lot of shoving and punching result. Despite the Giant's height and especially weight advantages, Sid really doesn't sell anything. Sid fights back with boots and clotheslines, which Giant doesn't really sell either. This leads to a standoff. The heels are in trouble, since there is no chance that they will be able to execute their finishers (chokeslam, Tombstone, powerbomb) on either of the faces. Giant drops some elbows on Sid's head and follows with some big headbutts and knees, driving Sid into the corner. Giant tags in the Yeti to a good pop. Yeti chokes away on Sid, finally getting him off his feet with a big boot. It gets 2. Sid punches away but he can't get any kind of advantage. Sid bails to the corner and tags in Kane, who gets a good heel pop. Kane moves pretty fast and blitzes Yeti with clotheslines, staggering the Himalayan monster but not knocking him down. Yeti fights back and slams Kane. Yeti tags the Giant in and he takes over on Kane. Giant gets some 2 counts off of some big slams, boots and clotheslines. Kane fights back and tries the slam, but he can't lift him. Giant headbutts Kane down and drops some HUGE elbows and a legdrop for 2. Kane tries coming back, but Giant overpowers him again. Kane bails and tags in Sid, who doesn't fare much better. Giant powerslams Sid with ease, and Sid bails as Francine shouts encouragement. Sid comes back with boots and clotheslines, but he can't knock the Giant down. Sid doesn't know what to do. He tags Kane back in, and he actually dominates this time, knocking the Giant down after a knee clip. Kane follows with a boot to the face and stomps away on the knee, putting Giant in the face-in-peril role. Francine distracts referee Tim White to enable Kane and Sid to cheat, but Sullivan rants away at her. Francine slaps him, but he no-sells. That's enough for Francine, as she runs back to the lockerroom. Sullivan tells White to pay attention to the match. White turns around in time to see the Giant fight off the double-team and make the hot tag to the Yeti, who comes in to a BIG pop. Yeti cleans house and finishes Kane with the Yetibomb for the 3 at 9:00.

LG: "Here are your winners, THE YETI AND THE GIANT!"

(Video package covering the feud between "The Real Deal" Selina Majors/Caged Heat and Harley's Angels)

Six-Woman Tag Team Match: "The Real Deal" Selina Majors and Caged Heat (Loca and Delta Lotta Pain) vs. Harley's Angels

LG: "The following six-woman tag team contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Born to Be Wild" plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: "Introducing first, from Reynolds, GA, THUG! From Houston, TX, CHARLIE DAVIDSON! And from Philadelphia, PA, EZ RIDER, HARLEY'S ANGELS!"

"LOCA! AND DELTA LOTTA PAIN! CAGED HEAT IS UNLEASHED!"

All three faces charge out of the back to a big pop.

LG: "And their opponents, representing the Revolution, first, from the Nevada State Correctional Facility, LOCA AND DELTA LOTTA PAIN, CAGED HEAT! And their partner, from Dublin, GA, 'THE REAL DEAL' SELINA MAJORS!"

Selina and EZ start, and we get a strong, exciting mix of wrestling and brawling. Charlie trips up Selina, putting her in the face-in-peril role. The heels control, drawing great heat. Selina fights back and tags in Loca, who blitzes the heels with clotheslines and dropkicks. Loca tags in Delta and we get a quick double-team on Charlie leading to a 2 count. Delta covers again and gets a few more 2 counts. The crowd is into this. Charlie comes back and tags in Thug, who overwhelms the smaller Delta. Thug tosses Delta around with power stuff, drawing great heel heat and making Delta the face-in-peril. Thug powerslams Delta but misses an elbow drop, allowing the hot tag to Selina, who comes in to a huge pop. Selina charges in and tears into Thug, and takes some shots at Charlie and EZ as well. Charlie and EZ try to get in, but Loca and Delta pull them off the apron and the four women brawl at ringside, with Loca and Delta winning. With that settled, referee Charles Robinson turns around to see Selina kick Thug in the gut and finish with the Georgia Bulldog (Stunner) for the pin at 10:00 to a major pop.

LG: "Here are your winners, the team of CAGED HEAT AND 'THE REAL DEAL' SELINA MAJORS!"

JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Final: The Faces of Fear (w/"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan) vs. The New Age Outlaws

We look back on the FOF beating the Outsiders and DDP/Christian to reach the semifinals, and the NAO defeating the Hardy Boyz and Dreamer/Sandman.

LG: "The following is our first semifinal match in the JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament and is scheduled for one fall."

("Oh You Didn't Know" plays)

Crowd boos.

ROAD DOGG: "YOU DAMN RIGHT! THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ME, IT'S ME, IT'S THAT D-O-DOUBLE G! ROLLING ONCE AGAIN WITH MR. A-DOUBLE-S, MR. A-DOUBLE-CROOKED-LETTER!"

(The Outlaws enter the ring)

ROAD DOGG: "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. The Clique proudly brings to you its (under his breath "soon-to-be") JWL TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORRRRRLD! (Points to himself) THE ROAD DOGG JESSE JAMMES! (Points to Gunn) THE BADASS BILLY GUNN! THE NEW AGE OUTLAWS!"

(The Faces of Fear's music plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by 'The Taskmaster' Kevin Sullivan and representing the Dungeon of Doom, at a total combined weight of 610 lbs., from the Kingdom of Tonga, MENG and THE BARBARIAN, THE FACES OF FEAR!"

Meng and Road Dogg start, and Meng kicks his ass all over the ring. RD bails and tags in Gunn, who doesn't fare much better. Meng dropkicks Gunn for 2. Another 2 count. Another. Meng chops Gunn down and tags in the Barbarian, who continues the punishment. Road Dogg distracts referee Nick Patrick, allowing Gunn the chance to low blow Barbarian and take control. Barbarian is YOUR face of fear in peril. The Outlaws cheat like nuts to keep control, drawing great heat. The Taskmaster pulls Gunn off the apron and runs him headfirst into the steps, and gives him the double stomp on the stomach. This enables Barbarian to fight back and make the HOT tag to Meng, who comes in to a HUGE pop. Meng slaughters RD, finishing with the Kick of Fear and the Tongan Death Grip for the win and to advance to the finals at 12:00. Big pop for that.

LG: "Here are your winners, advancing to the finals of the JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament, THE FACES OF FEAR!"

We look back at Gangrel/Saturn's wins over Jarrett/Steiner and Raven/Richards, and Angle/Nowinski's wins over Mikey/Tajiri and Vader/Bigelow.

JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinal: Gangrel and Perry Saturn (w/Luna Vachon) vs. High Standards (Kurt Angle and Christopher Nowinski (w/Mr. Bob Backlund)

LG: "The following is our second semifinal match in the JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament and is scheduled for one fall."

("I Don't Suck" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, being led to the ring by Mr. Bob Backlund, at a total combined weight of 490 lbs., from Pittsburgh, PA, KURT ANGLE and from Watertown, MA, CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI, HIGH STANDARDS!"

Crowd boos.

("Blood" plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by Luna Vachon and representing the Misfits, first, from the Other Side of Darkness, weighing in at 240 lbs., GANGREL! And his partner, from Boston, MA, weighing in at 234 lbs., PERRY SATURN!"

JR talks about the long-running feud between the Misfits and High Standards and how that could come into play in this match.

Gangrel and Angle start, and some great technical wrestling results. Lots of matwork, slams, clotheslines and suplexes. Angle gets a belly-to-back for 2. Then a belly-to-belly for 2. Angle goes to work on Gangrel's leg to set up the anklelock, but Gangrel kicks out of it. Gangrel hits a vertical suplex and tags in Saturn, who takes over on Angle with some stiff suplexes and submission holds. Angle plays heel-in-peril, but some well-timed cheating by Backlund enables Angle to regain control and tag in Nowinski. More mat stuff. Backlund cheats nonstop, drawing Luna over and the two of them rant away at each other. Luna decks Backlund and sends him to the steps. With referee Mike Sparks distracted by this, Angle and Nowinski proceed to double-team Saturn. Luna tells Sparks to pay attention to the match. He turns around and breaks up the double-team. Meanwhile, Saturn has been taking a pounding. Nowinski cuts off Saturn's attempt to tag in Gangrel and tags in Angle. Angle dismantles Saturn's leg nonstop, leading to the anklelock for the tapout at 15:00 to advance to the finals! Crowd boos.

LG: "Here are your winners, advancing to the finals of the JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament, HIGH STANDARDS!"

Gangrel grabs Saturn and he and Luna help him to the back, as the victorious heels collect their manager.

(Video package covering the feud between Jacqueline and Chyna.)

Loser-Leaves-JWL: Jacqueline vs. "The 9th Wonder of the World" Chyna

LG: "The following is our special Loser-Leaves-JWL match. The loser must immediately leave the JWL and can never return. Also, American Badass Inc. and the Clique are both banned from interfering in this match."

("Who I Am" plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: "Introducing first, representing the Clique, from Nashua, NH, 'THE 9TH WONDER OF THE WORLD' CHYNA!"

Crowd boos.

("Black Cat" by Janet Jackson plays)

LG: "And her opponent, representing American Badass Inc., from Dallas, TX, JACQUELINE!"

Crowd cheers.

JR talks about their past encounters and the sheer hatred between the two women, and how we will definitely see a career ended tonight.

Jacqueline attacks immediately, showing no fear. Chyna fights back with some big clotheslines and slams. Jacqueline kicks away and hits some good hard Texas clotheslines of her own. The crowd chants "Jackie! Jackie" throughout. Chyna slams Jackie and drops a leg for 2. Jackie keeps fighting back. The crowd is DEEPLY into this. Chyna hits a Big Boot and goes for the press slam, but Jackie wriggles free and gets a schoolgirl rollup for 2, almost costing Chyna her trunks in the process. Chyna gets up but Jackie dropkicks her right in the face. Jackie clotheslines Chyna again and yells, "THAT'S IT!" To everyone's shock, Jackie SLAMS CHYNA! Then to put the final nail in the coffin, Jackie PEDIGREES CHYNA! Jackie covers for the 1...2...3 at 11:00! HUGE POP!

LG: "The winner of the Loser-Leaves-JWL match, JACQUELINE!"

JR: "Mah gawd, I can't believe it. I knew Jackie was tougher than a two-dollar steak, but I never thought I'd see her bodyslam the, I guess former, '9th Wonder of the World.'"

Jackie takes her bows and leaves, shaking hands with various people in the crowd.

JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament Final: The Faces of Fear (w/"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan) vs. High Standards

LG: "The following is the final of the JWL World Tag Team Title Tournament and is scheduled for one fall."

("I Don't Suck" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 490 lbs., from Pittsburgh, PA, KURT ANGLE and from Watertown, MA, CHRISTOPHER NOWINSKI, HIGH STANDARDS!"

Angle and Nowinski enter the ring, and Angle takes the mic.

ANGLE: "You may notice that we are without our manager, Mr. Backlund. That's because that sick maniac Luna attacked him during our semifinal match. Well, we are such a good team that we're going to prove that we can win the JWL World Tag Team Titles without him. As for the Faces of Fear, we beat one team of monsters, Vader and Bigelow, and we damn sure can beat another one. Oh it's true, it's damn true!"

(The Faces of Fear's music plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And their opponents, being led to the ring by 'The Taskmaster' Kevin Sullivan and representing the Dungeon of Doom, at a total combined weight of 610 lbs., from the Kingdom of Tonga, MENG and THE BARBARIAN, THE FACES OF FEAR!"

Meng and Nowinski start, and Meng just tears into his much younger and less experienced opponent. Nowinski is clearly in trouble, and tries to tag in Angle, but Meng pulls him back. Meng tags in Barbarian who continues the beating. Crowd is fiercely behind the FOF. JR notes that the DOD started WrestleMania with a win and that it would be a big deal if Meng and Barbarian brought the belts home to the DOD camp tonight. Barbarian hits a powerslam for 2. Again. Again. Barbarian follows with a flying shoulderblock and a couple of legdrops. Barbarian tags Meng back in for more punishment. Meng dropkicks Angle and goes up top for the frogsplash! It gets 2! Angle struggles to get up and tries to clip Meng's knee, but Meng doesn't sell. Angle rolls up Meng for 2. Angle gets two rolling German suplexes for 2. Nowinski tries to get involved, but Meng headbutts him down. Nowinski rolls out to the floor, where Sullivan attacks him. Finally, Meng tags in Barbarian, who hits the Kick of Fear and a big piledriver on Angle for the pin and the JWL World Tag Team Titles at 10:00! HUGE POP!

LG: "Here are your winners, and the NEW JWL WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, THE FACES OF FEAR!"

The FOF and Sullivan hold the belts up high and shake hands with various people in the crowd before rushing off to the lockerroom to celebrate with the rest of the DOD. We go with them and see Jimmy Hart, Earthquake, Kamala and the rest cheering and pouring champagne.

(Video package covering past encounters between Molly Holly and Tori)

JWL Women's Title: Molly Holly (c) vs. Tori

LG: "The following JWL Women's Title contest is scheduled for one fall."

("Come Out and Play [Keep 'Em Separated]" plays)

LG: "Introducing first, the challenger. Representing Raven's Nest, from Portland, OR, TORI!"

Crowd boos.

(Molly's WWE theme plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And her opponent, representing the Revolution, from Mobile, AL, she is the JWL Women's Champion, MOLLY HOLLY!"

The women proceed to put on a clinic, filled with great scientific wrestling. Excellent moves from both women. Tori gets a powerslam for 2. Then an elbowdrop for 2. Molly fights back and hits some suplexes and slams of her own. Like everything else tonight, the crowd is SERIOUSLY into this match, cheering Molly and booing Tori. Tori hits a side Russian Legsweep for 2.5. Tori goes to work on Molly's leg, but Molly rolls her up into a small package for 2. Now it's Molly's chance to control. Molly hits a side backbreaker for 2. Then a gutwrench suplex for 2. Then a dropkick for 2. They fight over a backslide, and Tori almost gets it, but Molly wriggles free and gets back to her feet. With Tori down, Molly goes for a powerbomb, but Tori tries to turn it into a rana to escape. Molly blocks it and turns it into a standing Boston Crab. Molly then falls forward into her late cousin Crash Holly's Crash Landing move (A.J. Styles' Styles Clash). Molly tells the crowd "That's It!," climbs up top and hits the Molly-Go-Round for the pin to retain at 10:00.

LG: "Here is your winner, and still JWL Women's Champion, MOLLY HOLLY!"

(Video package covering the past encounters between Chris Benoit and the Rock.)

MAIN EVENT, JWL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: "THE CRIPPLER" CHRIS BENOIT (c) VS. THE ROCK

Before the match, we go to these prerecorded comments from both competitors.

THE ROCK: "FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO WRESTLEMANIA! Chris Benoit, you little Canadian candy-ass jabronie, what in the blue hell are you doing walking around with the Rock's belt? The Rock is the greatest champion of all time, and tonight he will prove that by laying the smacketh down on your roody-poo candy ass! The Rock is so confident that he will win the belt tonight that the Rock has told the rest of the Royals, DDP, RVD, Christian, William Regal and the Rock's manager, the great Jerry 'The King' Lawler, to stay in the lockerroom because the Rock won't be needing any help tonight. However, Chris Benoit, you will be needing help, specifically help being carried out of the ring once the Rock destroys you tonight. The Rock will be walking out of WrestleMania tonight as THE JWL World Heavyweight (pause) Champion. IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!"

CHRIS BENOIT: "Rock, all I have to say is that tonight I will be walking in to WrestleMania as the JWL World Heavyweight Champion and I will be walking out of WrestleMania tonight as the JWL World Heavyweight Champion, and you will not PROVE ME WRONG!"

LG: "The following contest is our main event. It is for the JWL World Heavyweight Championship and is scheduled for one fall with a 60-minute time limit."

("If You Smell..." plays)

Crowd boos.

LG: "Introducing first, the challenger. Representing the Royals, from Miami, FL, weighing in at 275 lbs., THE ROCK!"

("The Four Horsemen" by Metallica plays)

Crowd cheers.

LG: "And his opponent, representing the Four Horsemen, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the JWL World Heavyweight Champion, 'THE CRIPPLER' CHRIS BENOIT!"

Benoit and the Rock lock up and Rock pushes Benoit into the corner. Clean break and Benoit ducks a Rock punch, moves the Rock into the corner and chops away (whooo!). Benoit hits a vertical suplex and drops an elbow for 2. Rock comes back and punches away and gets a clothesline for 2. Then a powerslam for 2. Benoit comes back and hits a belly-to-back on the Rock and goes to work on his arm and shoulder to set up the Crippler Crossface. Benoit gets a hammerlock and rams Rock's shoulder into the post a few times. Benoit hits a Northern Lights Suplex for 2. Rock comes back and gets a DDT for 2. The arm is still bothering him, limiting his offense. Rock elbows Benoit on the head a few times. Rock hits some knees and a legdrop. Benoit goes back to the arm and hits a big hammerlock slam. Benoit gives the thumb-across-the-throat sign for the Diving Headbutt. Benoit goes up but the Rock moves out of the way. Rock's arm is still bothering him, which prevents him from going for the Rock Bottom or the Royal Elbow. Rock gets a DDT for 2. Benoit comes back and fires off the rolling Germans suplexes and hooks the Crippler Crossface! Rock is fighting it, but his arm is bothering him, making it harder for him to move toward the ropes. After hanging on for several minutes, the Rock TAPS OUT at 40:00! HUGE POP!

LG: "Here is your winner, and STILL JWL World Heavyweight Champion, 'THE CRIPPLER' CHRIS BENOIT!"

Benoit celebrates the win with the fans, as JR and Tenay recap the show and thank everyone for watching.

End of show.